A/N: I rewrote this since people DIDN'T GET IT! (I'm crying right now btw.)
Point of Why I Wrote This: I have a large picture of Sesshomaru on my wall (a gift) and it's fashioned like a scroll. I slipped off the bottom piece of the scroll so that it would stop banging against the wall when I turned on my fan. Then Tree asked… "Where's Sesshomaru's bottom?"
Simply put…I just couldn't help myself.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Warning: For the Sick Minded…Please put on a bad mind for this story or it won't be nearly as funny as it was intended to be. Tetsusaiga is Inuyasha's dirty!
ATTENTION!: Let's say they all defeated Naraku and somehow got warped to Kagome's time since she screwed up everything in the feudal era and it was the only way to fix everything. Sesshomaru has become a multli-millionaire and the rest of the gang go to school with Kagome and live with her until further notice.
Wanted…
It all began one mysterious afternoon when a young woman, having just reached today society's requirement of adult age, was walking down the street. She's a very pretty girl, with irresistible curves and flowing long raven black hair. She had thick bangs and just beneath, the most alluring eyes anyone has ever beheld. Boys of her high school dare to cut locks of her hair and steal her pencils (which, frustrating to her she kept chewing on by nervous habit), and getting into trouble, then blaming it on her bewitching eyes that seemed to hold every emotion fathomable. Her name was Kagome.
This story begins…
"It's too hot today, Sango," Kagome declared with a clenched fist as she scowled, then wiped at her brow. She sighed and Sango laughed at her friend's theatrics.
"It's always too hot for you, Kagome," she insisted. She smoothed the front of her kimono and looked around disturbed. She was always nervous at about this time. It was just after school and they were on their walk home. Sango, being new to this era, never left Kagome's side. It made them perfectly predictable. "Miroku is going to come today. I know it."
"Relax. I told him that if he showed up just one more time, he'll become a woman by the end of the day. I will definitely keep my promise. I'm not one to break my oaths." Outwardly Kagome sneered at the mention of Miroku's name, but inside she smiled. Sango and Miroku had been at it for a long time. They were bound to finally settle it. ONE way or another.
As they continued on their way, Kagome stopped abruptly, shocked. Her swift eyes had caught the edge a poster that she surely could never allow herself to believe. "Sango?"
"Hmm."
"Let's read this," Kagome replied. Sango looked up curiously at her cousin and raised an inquiring brow. Kagome, with two swats of her hand, commanded Sango over to the side of the building where a 'Wanted' poster hung. Sango leaned forward, her bound hair falling over her left shoulder, caressed her chin and read:
" 'Wanted. Inuyasha Taka-' Inuyasha Takahashi? I don't believe this!"
"Well, I just don't want to believe this. What did he do this time?" Kagome grumbled and pinched the bridge of her nose as if a major migraine was on the way. "Just keep reading it. My head hurts too much to open my eyes…"
Sango nodded and as she read, followed along with her long slender first finger: " 'Inuyasha Takahashi. Age 18. 5'10''. Long white hair and amber eyes. Has surgically implanted ears on the top sides… of his head-' …"
"Wow…"
"Surgically implanted ears? Is that really what people think these days? Why do they actually have to be attached to his head? The lunacy…"
"This is just a bunch of hooplah. I bet Miroku has something to do with this!" Kagome accused. Who would do this to her- uh, I mean Inuyasha!.? Through clenched teeth she grunted, "Keep…going…"
" ' …top sides of his head. Usually he wears a red costume known as a haori, which is overly large and hard to miss. Inuyasha never wears shoes and has unusually large canines. These, we believe, are also surgically altered.' " Sango and Kagome groaned at the same time. " 'He has committed more crimes that considered outrageous and has an abrupt and quick raging temper. At other times he seems aloof. Please call this number-' ya-di-ya-di-yah. Kagome, this doesn't make any sense, in my opinion." Sango placed her hands on her hips and slowly shook her head in dismay. A couple dozen cars whipped by as she leaned closer to the sign and read silently on.
"Doesn't it say what his crime was?" Kagome asked incredulous, after a moment as she tucked a stray strand of hair back behind her unmanageable hair. Her skirt softly moved in the artificially created wind from the non-stop flow of vehicles whizzing by.
A pause and then a mumbled 'yes' is what came from her cousin.
"Then, what?" she demanded.
"I'm not reading it aloud. You read it." Sango said, blushing. Not willing to argue, Kagome stomped closer to the sign, stood on her tiptoes and glared at the sign:
Inuyasha Takahashi is wanted for suspicion and questioning. Sesshomaru Takahashi's bottom (gluteus, ass, butt, etc.) was reportedly missing. We have good reason Inuyasha, with the help of his large Tetsusaiga, has stolen Sesshomaru Takahashi's bottom as his, for he was found beaten up on the floor of his office with it missing. Inuyasha's Tetsusaiga is currently wanted, for it was the weapon in which was used.
Description of Inuyasha's Tetsusaiga: Tetsusaiga grows large at the appearance of someone who is weaker than Inuyasha. (We still cannot explain this..) Inuyasha then takes action. Witnesses of Inuyasha with his Tetsusaiga say that it pulsates with power and that Inuyasha is skilled when wielding it.
We firmly intend to put this maniac behind bars. If you have any questions, suggestions, and information, please reach us. Thank you.
Kagome was stunned? Shocked? Confused. "Sango, why did you blush?" she asked, wanting to ignore what was at hand.
Sango's blushed amplified ten times stronger so she just shook her head. "Nothing at all, Kagome…"
"You know we have to find Inuyasha now, don't you?" Sango gave her a reluctant nod and Kagome sighed. Then she peered at the sign with a sparkle in her eyes.
"What's up, Kagome?" Sango asked suspiciously. Kagome reached toward the sign, peeled off the tape that held it up onto the side of the large building and rolled it up. As she stuck it in her back pocket she smiled evilly.
"Blackmail…"
THE END OF STORY
A/N: Hmm, I may write a sequel one-shot. I don't know yet. Anyways, REVIEW!
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Thanks.
