This is the most horrible, awful thing my father has done. Marriage or shall I say arranged marriage to a man whom I don't love. Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about, love? I despise the word, arranged, it's as if no one has a choice then they are forced upon a choice they would never want and will never be allowed to turn back. I want to turn back. I really want to turn back, but what will my family think of me or more importantly what will my father think? I know, he will think of me as a disgrace to the family. I'll be shunned and banished and never talked to again. If I do turn back and refuse to marry that idiot then wouldn't that be wonderful a life with freedom and choice? But my family, my dear family would fall apart and turn into ash! What if I do marry him? I guess I will make my family proud. We will all still love each other, I won't be shunned and we will not crash and burn. No, I cannot I will have to live my life with that wretched man! Maybe I can learn to love him? No he is vain, vile, cruel, arrogant and plain wrong! Oh how can I solve this problem? I can either be happy but banished or sad with a wonderful family who would still love me. I cannot choose! Perhaps I should run away. Yeah, that's what I'll do, I'll run away. I can go to Rome! It's so glorious and fascinating. Again my family would put shame and dishonor on me, call me a coward, I will not be loved and I could never return to my beloved city. I got it! I know what to do! This is a fabulous idea! I will kill myself! I cannot put shame in my name if I do so, I will be thought of a girl who stood up for what she believed in. I won't have to marry the man and I can live a happy life somehow. Oh well I don't care what happens now. I need a way out of this mess. Oh marvelous dagger please stab me in my stone heart so I can no longer bare this pain of confusion and misery. My last words on this traitorous planet shall be love, for that is all I ever wanted. Love.
