Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Oh wait! Yes I do! HARDY-HAR-HAR-HAR! HAR!

… Hayley's got the magic of… CLOROX BLEACH!

SHOOPUF SOCIETY!

Chapter 1

Ganju's BEST Idea!

It was a BEAUTIFUL summer day. The kind that you DON'T want to spend inside doing homework. So of course, Ichigo Kurosaki was inside doing a special report on Manta Rays. He had already watched several documentaries on them, but unfortunately, all that THAT did was make him want to eat pancakes.

" Why should I have to do some stupid project about MANTA RAYS!" Ichigo whined in his room to no one in particular. " Why couldn't I have done a project on STING Rays?"

" What's the difference?" Kon said randomly, popping out of the nearest orfice. Because he CAN.

Well, Ichigo didn't really know the difference. But he DEFINITELY knew STING Ray sounded cooler than MANTA Ray. I mean, come on, duh. He's a teenage boy.

" I'll never be able to do this stupid report." Ichigo sighed like the most pathetic person in the world.

" Let ME help!" Kon suggested as if it were the best idea in the world.

" Um… NO." Said Ichigo.

" Come on, Ichigo!" Kon whined. " I know ALL about Manta Rays!"

" You do…?" Ichigo asked suspicously, because he is a very gullible child.

" OH SURE!" Kon said excitedly. " Hand me a pencil!"

" You can't hold a pencil." Ichigo pointed out.

" Okay, nevermind, I can't help you." Said Kon.

" Hey, why don't you just TELL me what you know?" Ichigo asked because at this point he's very despertate for anyway to do his summer homework without actually doing it.

" What I know about Manta Rays really can't be put into spoken words." Kon said importantly. " I'm afraid you're going to have to become a Shinigami and let me posess your body so I can write the report for you."

" OKAY!" Said Ichigo like the complete idiot he is.

HOOONK! (transition purposes)

" WOO-HOO!" Yelled Kon/Ichigo at the top of his lungs as he leapt up and down in one of those crazy birthday bouncy houses that someone had put up for the furling child's birthday. Yes, he just ran in and scared all the little kids out without asking. That's NOT good for Ichigo's reputation!

" GET OUT! COME BACK TO THE HOUSE AND HELP ME WRITE MY REPORT!" Ichigo screamed, while a bunch of angry parents surrounded the bouncy houses with baseball bats and spatulas.

HOOONK!

" LET ME OUT, ICHIGO, LET ME OUT! ARRRRRGH!" Kon's garbled screams of pain were drowned out when Ichigo closed the lid of the washing machine, and turned it on SUPER Speedy Spin Dry.

HA-HA-HA! That'll teach you to PRETEND to know about Manta Rays, Kon! And that'll teach YOU to believe him, Ichigo!

" I know!" Ichigo said, but he didn't really say it. He smacked a fist against a palm and the words came from NOWHERE, because it was INNER dialouge! " I'll call all my friends! One of them is BOUND to be able to help me with my project!"

So at the top of Ichigo's friend list was… SADO! CHAD! YASUTORA! WHATEVER!

" Ring-ring." Said Ichigo's phone. Then Chad picked up.

" Hello?" Said Chad in his big friendly voice that makes you feel all warm inside.

" Hi, Chado!" Ichigo said enthusiastically. " Have you started on that school project?"

" Oh. Hi Ichigo. Yes."

" Cool. What is your's on?"

" Salamanders."

" Awesome. So, how far have you gotten?"

" I wrote the first few paragraphs… now I'm finished." Chad ended quickly, because he didn't really want to talk about the whole Salamander Researching Process.

" Do you think you could help me do MY report?" Ichigo asked.

" Uh… I don't know. Oh wait, Ichigo, can I call you back? The ginger snaps I'm baking are burning." And due to the horrible disaster of burning ginger snaps, Chad hung up the phone. Ichigo frowned because Chad is his BEST friend, and he didn't really want to have to call anyone else.

Next he called Mizuiro! YOU KNOW! Ichigo's LITTLE friend. Who I REFUSE to believe is a lady-killer.

" Hello?" Said Mizuiro.

" Hey Mizuiro!"

" Oh, hi Ichigo."

" So, have you started on the report yet?"

" Oh, the one on Badgers? I've already finished."

" That's great!"

" How about your report?"

" Well… uh…"

" Have you not finished it yet?"

"…not really…"

" Well, Ichigo," Said Mizuiro in a super-happy-nice voice, " You know I have much better things to do during summer than help you do a report you're too lazy to do yourself." Then the phone HUNG up just like that! THE NERVE!

" I'll show you…" Ichigo grumbled, and decided to call Tatsuki.

" Hello?"

" Hi Tatsuki."

" Oh… Ichigo… is this about the report…?" Tatsuki asked suspicously because she has that kind of woman's intuition.

" Uh… yeah…" Ichigo said uneasily, kind of put-off by Tatsuki's MIND READING powers.

" Because mine is on Sting Rays."

" Oh."

" And I KNOW yours is on Manta Rays."

" Yeah."

" So if you think you can copy all MY information and just change it up so it'll match your stupid Manta Ray Report, YOU'RE WRONG!" Tatsuki yelled into the phone. Ichigo hung his head in shame because that's exactly what he was planning on doing.

" Well, I've gotta go. Me and Orihime are gonna have lunch."

" Oh! Inoue's there! Put her on!"

" WHY?"

" Just do it!" Then there was a scuffling sound and everyone's favorite Tohru with boobs was put on the phone.

" Hi Kurosaki-kun!"

" Hi Inoue! Have you started your report?"

" Oh, I have! It's own Bumblebugs! I mean, Bumblebees! It's SO exciting! Did you know that Bumblebees learn DANCES so they can tell each other where honey is?"

Actually… Ichigo DID know this! Because he had seen it on the Magic School Bus! But now, was not the time. So he moved onto what he wanted to talk about.

" Say, Inoue, what do you know about Manta Rays?"

" I swam with a Manta Ray once!"

" Oh, did you…?" Ichigo asked, trying very hard to sound interested.

" Yep, you go into the water, and it's like PLOOSH! And then Manta Ray-san is like GLIIIIDING, and you pet him, and it feels like rubber, only wet, so I went underneath him and tried to rub his stomach, but I guess he's like a cat, because he didn't like that and-"

As she spoke, Ichigo was growing steadily more and more impatient, until finally he yelled into the phone, " SORRY INOUE, GOTTA GO!" And he slammed the phone down.

GREAT, thought Ichigo. Now I only have two more people to call. Keigo… and my arch-nemesis, Ishida.

He thought about this choice for a minute, and decided to call his arch-nemesis Ishida.

" …Hello?" Ishida answered sounding VERY surprised someone had actually called him.

" Uh… hey…" Said Ichigo, trying to make it sound like he called Ishida EVERY day.

" Is that YOU, Kurosaki?" Ishida asked, sounding offended.

" Have you… uh… started on the… uh… report?" Ichigo asked in the saddest attempt at sounding casual ever.

" I'll finish my report before you Kurosaki. I'll finish it, and PROVE that the Quincies are better than Shinigami! YOU'LL SEE!" Ishida yelled, and slammed the phone shut.

Ichigo listened to the dial tone for a few seconds, then said, " OKAY, then…"

Of course, he didn't call Keigo! WHO WOULD! So he was forced to give up the whole 'get your friend to do it for you' thing. Oh well. That never works anyway.

" I know!" Said Ichigo. " I'll ask Rukia! Why didn't I think of that sooner?" Really. After all, she DOES live in your closet. So Ichigo opened his closet, only to find that Rukia… wasn't there! Oh noes!

" Hey… where's Rukia?" Ichigo said slowly.

Then suddenly a super-dorky voice started screaming WAAAAY too emotively, " IENAI, ITAMI, KANASHIMI KIZUITA KIMI WO!"

Ichigo then remembered that he had left Rukia in the tower in Soul Society, and that she was still trapped there to this day! Why he gave up in trying to save her is something we can't disclose to you other than the fact that everyone was really tired of trying to save Rukia. So he closed the door and the music stopped playing.

Ichigo decided the BEST way to get his homework problems out of the way was to ignore their very existence, so he went downstairs to go watch some television. But no sooner had he gotten halfway down the stairs, he heard a KNOCK against the door! GASP! I wonder who it could be?

" Someone get it!" Ichigo yelled at his two furling sisters. When neither of them answered, he sighed and went to go get it himself like it was the biggest hassle on the face of the earth.

And who was there to greet him at the door but… GANJU! He was wearing a big Mickey-Mouse hat, oversized sunglasses, and a t-shirt that said I HEART IRELAND! But don't worry! It was still the Ganju we all know and love!

" AHHHHH!" Screamed Ichigo, since seeing Ganju dressed like that warped his fragile mind.

" HI, ICHIGO!" Said Ganju.

" WHO THE HELL ARE- Is that you, Ganju?" Ichigo asked, trying to understand why Ganju would be wearing a Mickey-Mouse hat. Nevermind how Ganju had gotten into the REAL world, which was a mystery in itself.

" It sure is!" Ganju chuckled like Kureno. " I came to invite you on a roadtrip across the United States!"

Far from being flattered by this invitation, Ichigo just gave Ganju a bug-eyed stare. " What do you mean, Road Trip Across the United States? And where did you get those weird clothes? And HOW did you get out of Rukongai and to the REAL world anyway?"

" I mean you and me getting into a car and driving from state to state! My grandpa got me these clothes for my birthday! And a beam of light shot out from the sky and I landed here with my CREST OF GANJU!" Ganju held up the Crest of Ganju which has a glowing pickle on it! SCORE!

" But… but…" Ichigo stuttered, hardly able to understand the situation.

" COME ON ICHIGO!" Ganju yelled, punching Ichigo in the stomach. " I WAS NICE ENOUGH TO INVITE YOUR STUPID ASS ON A ROAD TRIP AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN THANKFUL!"

" I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE GOING ON A ROADTRIP! I HAVE HOMEWORK!" Ichigo yelled in protest.

" Bring your homework with you and do it on the way!" Ganju ordered, not really knowing what homework was. OH WELL!

" Well…" Said Ichigo slowly. It's not like he doesn't WANT to go on a Road Trip across the USA. Who WOULDN'T want to go? But Ichigo Kurosaki has RESPONSIBILITIES! Like SAVING Kuchiki Rukia!

" Okay, let's say I DID go with you. How are we going to get to America anyway? This is JAPAN, in case you didn't notice!" Ichigo said grumpily, pointing at Ganju's shirt.

" IMPOSHIBBIBLE!" Agreed Shoopuf Dude.

" We'll ask Urahara of course!" Said Ganju because Urahara has all the answers.

" … and what are we going to get around in? Your stupid pig?" Ichigo asked as a last attempt at pretending he didn't mind abandoning everything to go on a random Road Trip with Ganju.

" My CAR!" Ganju said enthusiastically.

NOW he had Ichigo in the bag. It's one thing if Ganju asked you to go somewhere. It's another thing if he asked you to go somewhere… IN HIS CAR! It's just like when your COOL friend drives you around in a car, except this time it's Ganju driving you around! Not as cool, more smelly, but it's still a car.

" Okay." Said Ichigo. " Let me go get some things."

" OH-KAY!" Said Ganju, willing to stand there for as long as it took.

And now, just so you know… and I know you LOVE to know… here's what Ichigo packed upstairs!

Clean CLOTHING!

A TOOTHBRUSH!

His Cell Phone!

Deodorant!

A Soul Society Glove that he can whack HIMSELF in the face with! No, I don't think that works, but WHY NOT! He's run out of Soul Candy anyway!

The M Encylopedia!

A hairbrush!

Paper!

A pencil!

His Game Boy!

Harvest Moon Friends of Mineral Town!

And of course, his Dr. Schells Gellin' Footpads! HE'S GELLIN'!

" ICHIGOOO! LET ME OUUUT! HELP! HELP! I CAN'T STOP SPIIIIINING!" Kon screamed because he was still going through the spin cycle. Ichigo kicked the washing machine open and popped Kon into his suitcase just for the hell of it. Then he ran downstairs to where Ganju was still patiently waiting like a fool.

" All-ready?" Ganju asked Ichigo.

" Sure. Let's go." Said Ichigo, and they walked outside to where Ganju's car was waiting.

What did Ganju's car look like, you ask? Well… imagine the BATMOBILE.

Have it pictured in your head? All black and sleek and shiny? Got it? Good.

…because it looks nothing like the Batmobile. HA-HA! Now you're stuck imagining that it LOOKS like the Batmobile just because I said that! And I'm not going to tell you what it REALLY looks like because I don't FEEL like it!

MWHAHAHAHA!

Ichigo commented on Ganju's car, but we won't let you hear that because it might give that mysterymobile's identity away. Then he started to pile in with Ganju in the front seat, when all of a sudden… Ichigo's father, AKA, The Coolest Dad Ever, came walking up.

" GASP!" Said Isshin. " Ichigo! My son! Are you getting into a car with a stranger who I don't even know, and go to a place far, far away without any parental supervision!"

" Yep." Said Ichigo.

" Okay." Said Isshin and randomly jumped onto the hood of the car. " BRING ME BACK A PIZZA!" And then he jumped off and walked back into the house as if that were a normal thing to do. Which, coincidentally for him, IT WAS!

" Okay!" Said Ganju. " Let's go to Urahara's!"

" How do you even KNOW where Urahara is? Or WHO he is?" Ichigo asked as Ganju started to drive down the street.

" There are many things I know, Ichigo…" Ganju said in a mysterious voice, covering up the enormous plot-hole that is this fanfiction.

" Whatever." Said Ichigo, and turned around. Then he jumped about five million feet in the air. Then it took four minutes for him to come back down. BUT THEN, he saw that Hanatarou was sitting there in the backseat like he BELONGED there.

" Hello Ichigo-san." Said Hanatarou meekly. He was wearing a Mickey-Mouse hat too, but it was a little big for his head. His shirt said I HAVE DECIDED TO PUT MYSELF IN CHARGE, which was really poorly chosen on whoever had given it to him's behalf.

" Hanatarou!" Ichigo demanded. " You're coming too!"

" Of course he is! Who else is going to carry our things and read the directions and bandage us up after we get into trouble?" Ganju demanded.

" THAT'S true." Said Ichigo.

Hanatarou chuckled like a sickly Kureno. By now, he's very used to being Ichigo and Ganju's little monkey, so it's not like he was offended by this statement. I don't think Hanatarou can even GET offended.

" Well, then, let's get going! Next stop… URAHARA SHOTEN!" Ganju yelled, and kicked the pedal to the metal. And so the road trip was UNDERWAY!

HURRAH!

OMAKE!

Hello. I'm Hayley Wallace. You may know me from such fanfics as Legal Shoopuf, Shooball, or Shoopuf Basket. Yes, I was writing Shoopuf Basket Platinum, but then I realized that I wasn't. Oh well! The omake is a section where we answer your questions! It can be any question you want just as long as it isn't about the three things I hate the most.

Shelinda

Teddiursa

Epona

In THAT order.

And now let's meet our Review Crew! Even if we're answering questions, we demand to be called the REVIEW CREW! HAH!

(yes, I was so lazy that I just copied this)

First is everyone's favorite writer, artist, otaku, high school girl and random loud idiot, ME! HAYLEY! HURRAH! Feel free to ask me any question that doesn't make me feel threatened and want to move to another state and delete any trace of me on the internet! YOSH!

Next is… Carl! The Sarcastic Talking Purple Wooper! He's HERE this time and he's taking names!

Carl: Bite me.

And everyone's favorite big lovable lug… BIGFOOT! FOOT-CHAN!

Bigfoot: HELLO EVERY PEOPLE.

The three of us team up to answer your questons, whatever they may be! And each time after the next chapter, we will have a FEATURED guest. (oooh)

So please enjoy Shoopuf Society, don't mention those three things I mentioned, and ASK QUESTIONS!

Ja!