A/N: This is my interpretation of what happened to the 'Great' John Teller. So please review and let me know if you want the story to continue. I'll keep going if there is an interest in this story.
It looked as if a tornado had ripped through Clay and Gemma's living room. Furniture was overturned or very nearly destroyed. Lamps and vases were shattered and strewn across the cherry wood floors in living room. There were fist sized holes adorning the walls in various places. The brand new entertainment center was turned over on its side. All of its contents lay battered and broken amongst the ruins. And in the center of all of this turmoil sat Gemma Teller-Morrow. Her hands and arms were cut from the shards of broken glass that she had drunkenly tried to clean up. Tears streaked down her face as she slowly drank from a bottle of whiskey. Her cheeks were stained with tears and mascara. Her black lace tank top was soaked with blood that wasn't her own it was a combined mix from Clay and Jax. The blood was starting the dry and the tank top stuck against her skin but she couldn't muster the energy to care.
Clay stood at the front door watching the deterioration of his wife. There was something almost lifeless about her eyes at the moment. He spoke to her several times but it was as if she couldn't hear him. Clay was bruised and bloodied. He'd taken a severe beating from Jax. He hadn't just taken a severe beating he had dished out one as well. He didn't know if Gemma would ever forgive him for the beating he put on Jax. But he had to...he had to do something to stop Jax...to stop Jax from tearing into Gemma. Jax's words had been cruel and hateful and Clay had watch his wife's soul die just a little more with each venom laden phrase that Jax uttered. Clay always believed that the truth would come to the light one day but he never expected it to come out today. Today was supposed to be one of celebration. The club's new gun arrangement with the Irish had been profitable while Clay and the rest of the guys were in prison. One of Clay's first orders of business upon release from prison was to purchase a bigger and better home to share with the love of his life. The party tonight was supposed to be a housewarming/welcome home party for all of the guys. But instead it turned into World War III. Jax had found out an awful truth...one that Gemma had long tried to keep a secret. Clay didn't mind paying for his sins but watching Gemma suffer was too much for him to bear. "Gemma..." said Clay walking over to her. He stepped over broken glass and overturned furniture. "You need to get some rest..." said Clay as he stood in front of her. He reached down and brushed her hair away from her face so that he could look into her eyes.
Gemma was in a world of her own, she could hear Clay talking to her but it was like he was off in the distance. Gemma's right hand clutched a bottle of whiskey that she occasionally took a swig from and her left hand clutched a picture of Jax, her reason for living. Gemma's blood had dripped onto the broken glass of the picture frame like crimson raindrops. Gemma could hear Jax's angry words ringing in her head. He had called her words that she would have never imagined he would utter about her. 'Whore' 'Bitch' 'Faithless'. It wasn't the words that hurt; Gemma had been called worse in her life. The pain was because those words were uttered by her son. The boy that she would readily give her life for. In fact Jax was her life. After Thomas died Jax became her only reason for living and now he was gone and in her drunken state Gemma could find precious few reasons to go on. Some might call that melodramatic but Gemma felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest. "Jax..." muttered Gemma softly. She took another swig from the bottle of whiskey. The warm liquid burned as she poured it down her throat.
Clay gently took the bottle from Gemma's hand. "You need to get some rest." repeated Clay. "Things will look better in the daylight." He didn't know how true that was. In fact this was guaranteed to only get worse the next day. He had never seen his wife so broken all he wanted to do was make it better. All he wanted to do was fix her.
Gemma snapped out of her trance briefly and snatched the bottle of whiskey out of Clay's hand. "Don't!" growled Gemma in a guttural voice. Her eyes went wild with rage. "Leave me alone..." Her voice seemed deeper and strained, but then again she had spent the last few hours sobbing and screaming at the top of her lungs. "I want to be alone." reiterated Gemma. She turned the bottle up taking several large gulps. She didn't want to remember tonight. She wanted to black out and forget this painful night. Her eyes went back to the picture of Jax and she wondered where it all went wrong.
Clay stood there watching her for awhile as she seemed to completely ignore his presence again. He felt his anger bubbling deep within him but at this point he didn't know who to be angry with. Himself? John? Jax? Or perhaps that Irish bitch Maureen that sent the letters that she knew would surely poison Jax against not only him but his mother. Clay walked out of the house limping somewhat. He couldn't stand seeing Gemma looking like a zombie. Clay got onto his bike and took off for a long ride. Clay contemplated going to Jax and Tara's house but he thought better of it. He didn't want his grandchildren around a possible brawl. But he wanted to tell Jax the truth...the whole truth. He didn't want it to absolve himself he wanted it to absolve Gemma. Clay would take the blame...he'd be the bad guy.
Jax sat outside in the dark drinking from a bottle of whiskey. His face was bloodied and the bruises would definitely form by morning. He liked being outside in the silence of the night. There… he was truly alone with his thoughts. Jax flexed his fingers and winced feeling pain shoot through his battered knuckles. His entire world had been turned upside down. Every truth he once believed to be true was false and now he wondered what other lies and conspiracies had his beloved mother been keeping from him all these years. Tonight was supposed to be good times for all instead he felt like his life had been torn apart. Jax, Clay, Bobby, and Juice had spent 14 months in prison. Tig and Happy ended up spending an additional 6 months in prison because of a fight they had gotten into with some Aryans. Clay and Gemma were hosting a welcome home party at their new house tonight because Tig and Happy had finally been released. But today Jax had started reading the letters his father wrote to his mistress, Maureen Ashby. It was in reading those letters that Jax stumbled upon a truth he wasn't prepared to know. In John's letters he accused Clay and Gemma of having an affair and foreshadowed his own impending death. John had believed that if he died it would be at the hands of his best friend and his wife. Jax had been devastated when John Teller died. It was one too many losses for him. Losing his younger brother Thomas had been too much for the young boy. Thomas' death had been a slow process that made it even more painful. It was a sad story that you knew the ending to. There would be no miraculous save at the end of the movie...he had waited a year or more for his little brother to die. Jax was still reeling from that loss when John died his brutal and untimely death. Before tonight Jax would have never believed that Clay and Gemma could be responsible for the death of his father.
What infuriated him more was that he had just spent 14 months in prison with Clay. And there they truly bonded as father and son. Jax felt like a fool. They had only been home for a couple of months but things were just finally starting to get settled. Their income was more than they could have hoped for because of the new top grade stock they were getting from the Irish. Life was good… then he started reading the letters that John wrote Maureen leading up to his death. And right there in black in white...in his father's own handwriting he had pointed the blame at Gemma and Clay. Jax had struggled for days to reconcile this idea in his mind and finally tonight before the party at Clay and Gemma's house he had confronted them and that was when all hell broke loose. Jax wanted the truth but at the same time he was scared of that truth.
Tara walked out of the house quietly. She had finally gotten baby Jonathan asleep. Abel had been asleep for a couple of hours now. Tara had a seat next to Jax. She didn't know what to say so for the moment she opted to sit with him in silence. She had watched in horror that night as Jax and Clay fought in what seemed like a battle to the death. She watched as Jax verbally tore Gemma to pieces and she saw a woman she looked up to be reduced to a shell. She blamed herself for all of this. She had read those letters and could have burned them while Jax was in prison, but instead she had done the honorable thing and gave them to Jax.
"They didn't admit it...but I know...I know that they killed my father. Clay wouldn't have reacted the way he did if what I was saying wasn't true." said Jax rationalizing everything in his head. He loved his mother and he loved Clay, but he loved John Teller too and someone had to pay for his death.
Tara thought about her words. She didn't want to anger him and she wanted him to know that she was on his side. "Mistakes are made when we rush to action in the heat of emotion. Whatever you decide to do...once you do it you can't take it back, Jax. Be sure that the facts are correct before you take fate into your own hands. What's done cannot be undone...I love you and not matter what you decide...I will be at your side..."
Jax took her hand and squeezed it gently. He knew that she was right. Clay had rushed to judgment and that had cost Donna Winston her life. Jax didn't want to make the same mistake. "What I hate the most is because I heard the rumors when I was younger and I never believed them. And I look at my mother...and as much as I love her I know that she is cold-hearted enough to have done this...I don't know what to believe. I loved my father but the more I learn about him...it is like watching the Great Oz be exposed as fraud. I think that I am going to go for a ride." Jax leaned in and kissed her softly. "I love you." Jax walked out to his bike and took off. Jax pulled up at the cemetery where his father was buried and made his way over to his headstone. He stopped seeing Clay at John's grave. He felt his anger surge through him and stalked over to Clay. "Leave!" said Jax in a hushed yell.
Clay turned around and looked at Jax. He saw the hatred coming off of him in waves but underneath that he saw something else. He saw a sadness in Jax's eyes that could not be denied. "You want the truth?" asked Clay looking at Jax with his steely blue eyes. The ride that Clay had gone on had given him a little clarity.
"You are incapable of telling the truth about anything. Everything you've ever told me has just been one lie building upon another. I accepted you. I loved you like a father!" said Jax in a low voice. "What am I supposed to think when I read in my father's own handwriting that...if he was to die...he was sure that his death would be caused by his best friend and his wife?"
"I love you son and I always have...do you want to know the truth or not...this is the only time that I will ever tell you and I will never speak of it again. And no matter how you feel about your mother you will never speak to her like you did tonight...or I'll kill you." said Clay in a cold voice that belied his sorrow.
Jax tried to ignore the sadness that he saw in Clay's eyes. He didn't want to feel anything for the man that had taken his father from him. Jax was 14 years old when John died and it had turned his world upside down. Jax scoffed. "I am not your son! Sure...tell me more lies..."
Clay shrugged. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet and said "Walk with me..." Clay walked over to a mausoleum and had a seat on the steps. He stuck his hands in his pocket taking out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. A small smile flicked across his lips looking at the lighter. It had been a gift from Gemma years ago. Clay lit his cigarette and said "John was a good man at one point in his life. A good man that I was proud to call a brother and a friend. But somehow he lost his way and it wasn't just the club. Thomas being sick tore him up and he uh...he ran away from his responsibilities not only to the club but to you, your mother, and your baby brother. In Thomas' last days your father was in Ireland fucking Maureen. He let your mother shoulder that burden on her own." Clay and Jax had been there with her when Thomas finally died. It had been Clay that consoled Gemma and Jax.
"I know my old man was a cheat. A lousy husband and a piss poor father for leaving my brother to die like that. For abandoning me and mom when we needed him the most. But what gave you the right to end him?" said Jax pacing. Jax was struggling with himself. He had always put John up on a pedestal like he could do no wrong. His entire image of the man had been shattered when Jax learned the truth while in Ireland. And it reminded him about how distraught he was when Abel was born it took his mother slapping him to snap him out of his cowardly depression. He wondered if he got that weakness from his father. If he had inherited that disease.
Clay took a drag from his cigarette. "He was going to take you away from Gemma. She called me one night, I went over to the house...place was fucking destroyed. Her and your old man had gone through a good one that night." Clay could remember the scene like it was yesterday. He had never heard Gemma sound so afraid until that night she called him for help.
Jax shook his head. "Now, I know you are lying. If they fought like that I would have remembered that. I would have noticed that. See I knew I couldn't trust a fucking thing you had to say!"
"This was a week before John died. I think you were staying over at Piney's house with Ope for the weekend. When you came home Sunday I was there patching a hole in the wall...there was new bedroom door...any of this jogging your memory?" asked Clay.
Jax paused thinking about it. He could sort of remember that. "Okay so what they had a fight...they fought sometimes...he mentioned the fights in some of the letters to Maureen. He said that mom hated him. Hated the man he was becoming…but really it was just that they were growing in different directions…it happens."
"The fight between them started because Gemma found plane tickets to Ireland...two plane tickets. Did you read that in those letters?" asked Clay with a sneer as he took a long drag from his cigarette.
Jax stopped pacing and stared at him. "What are you saying? You whacked him because he wanted to move his family to Ireland? Taking your girlfriend away from you?" Jax was disgusted that Clay and Gemma had been carrying on an affair while John was still alive. There had always been rumors because of how soon the two of them started dating after John died but he had never allowed himself to believe it. Perhaps his father wasn't the only person he had put on a pedestal.
"There were only two tickets, Jax. I am saying that John intended to take you away from Gemma. Take you to Ireland with his other family...Gemma was beside herself. The thought of losing you...I watched her break down in front of me for the first time since Thomas died. So I went to the club to talk to John...to talk some sense into him. I went into his room and he was in the shower so I had a seat and waited on him. But while I was waiting...I saw a tape recorder...attached to a wire mic. And I knew...I fucking knew it. But I picked it up anyway and pushed play. John had worn a wire during church that night, he didn't just turn against his family...he turned against his club. So I stole it and walked right back out of his room. He was rat I knew what had to be done." said Clay.
"You are lying!" yelled Jax rushing Clay and knocking him over. Jax punched him even though his knuckles were already hurting. He pummeled Clay.
Clay threw Jax off of him and stood up. "You wanted to hear the truth well then you listen to the truth! All of it! I took him out because he was cooperating with the feds and because he was taking you away from Gemma. He thought that getting you away from Charming was the only way to spare you the pains of his life. I couldn't let that happen. It would have killed your mother. Think what you want of your mother…but there is nothing that she has done in this life that wasn't for your benefit."
Jax was stunned thinking it over in his head. That sounded plausible. In his book and even in his letters to Maureen John lamented his life and worried that Jax would follow him down the same path. "You and my mother conspired to kill him...?" asked Jax shaking his head. He was still seething with anger but he wasn't sure with whom.
Clay shook his head. "No, I couldn't tell her what I did...because as much as she hated John...she loved that bastard too and she would have never forgiven me for ending him. Even now...I live in that man's shadow. I wake up every day knowing that Gemma loves John in a way that she could never love me. I catch her walking by his bike and just standing there. Even after all of this time she still misses him."
Jax shook his head. "You...you are making this up. If he was a rat why doesn't Piney know? Why doesn't anyone else in the club know? You made your own decision just like with Ope...what if you made a mistake with my father too!" said Jax from his position on the ground. All of this was too much information for Jax's drunken mind to process. He could imagine his father being a lot of things but not a rat.
Clay sighed and said "Which part? Why would I lie? If I were going to lie I could have just told you that I didn't kill John. You have no proof to the contrary. All you have are the pathetic ramblings of a man to his mistress. A man that was too much of a coward to be there for his son as he lay in a hospital bed dying. A man that was willing to rip his remaining son from the arms of his loving mother so that he could start a life with some whore. A man that would rat out his own brothers to save his worthless ass. A man..." Clay stopped talking. "I am telling you the truth. I killed John. Your mother had no part of it. And if you tell her that I did...I will call you a fucking liar to your face. Gemma would never forgive me...and I am not about to lose my wife...not even for you son...not even for you. You want proof your old man was a rat. Meet me at the house tomorrow after your mom leaves for work. I'll give you proof. I kept it a secret for the same reason we keep the Opie situation a secret. What would it do for the club...if they knew that the founder...turned rat? What would the other charters think?" Clay walked away from Jax and headed back to his motorcycle.
Clay walked into his house greeted by the carnage he had left behind hours earlier. His eyes went to the center of it all and saw that his wife was now passed out amongst the debris. A half empty bottle of whiskey was lying on its side on the floor next to her. Her head rested on a couch cushion that had been displaced in the fight. He sighed to himself and locked the door. He walked over and gently lifted Gemma up into his arms. She was still clutching the picture of Jax. Clay made sure that she kept it in her arms and carried her to their bedroom upstairs.
Gemma stirred as Clay carried her to their bedroom. "Your hands...you shouldn't be carrying me. I was fine sleeping on the floor." slurred Gemma in a hoarse voice.
"My hands are fine. I am not letting my wife sleep on the floor...no matter how distraught she might be. Besides you know that I don't like to sleep alone." said Clay. He laid her on the bed and then sat next to her. "Do you need me to get you anything?" asked Clay. He was just glad that she was actually speaking to him at the moment.
"Where did you go earlier?" asked Gemma. Her head was spinning at the moment from all of the liquor she had consumed. She felt light headed and hot. She reached up and pulled her lace tank top over her head. The blood had completely dried into the fabric. She closed her eyes and groaned softly.
"I went for a ride to clear my head. I needed to do some thinking. Then I went out to visit John's grave...Jax showed up while I was there." said Clay. He paused in thought not sure what to tell Gemma.
"What did you do?" asked Gemma. She quirked an eyebrow at him. She sat up in the bed more so that she could look him in the eyes. Gemma might have been wasted but even through her drunken haze she could see the expression of guilt on Clay's face.
Clay hated the way that she knew him so well. "I told him...part of the truth...the truth that I thought that he could handle...and the truth that would exonerate you. He can hate me all he likes...I'll carry that burden. But...you don't deserve it..."
Gemma's eyes widened. "What did you do?" reiterated Gemma but this time in a louder voice. She felt her heart start to beat faster. "What exactly did you tell my son..." asked Gemma.
Clay said "He's my son too damnit...but don't worry that particular secret is still just that...a secret."
