DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA nor do I own Disney. I don't profit off this story in any way except for laughter.


Aladdin

"So you're telling me that I gotta go down into this ol' lion's mouth or whatever and bring you back that lamp?" Greed asked, resting his foot on the stiff, sandy lip of the giant lion's head that had come up out of the ground. He hadn't been that phased.

"That's right," the scrawny old man next to him said. "I got you outta that prison, and I'll give you another reward when you get back. Anyway, go straight in, and bring back only the lamp. If you touch anything else, you won't be able to come back out, and you'll be trapped inside forever."

Greed shrugged before he grinned. "I like a reward. Deal. I'll be back." He hopped up into the mouth of the cave and casually descended down the steep stairs.

The throat of the sand-lion narrowed, and it was several minutes before he came to the bottom of the stairs and found himself in a huge, glittering cavern, filled to the brim with piles of gold coins, diamonds, and other precious gemstones, not to mention priceless vases and other treasures. His eyes widened, and he whistled.

"Sure is some place," he commented, strolling along the only clear path. His mouth watered as he took it all in. If he had all this, he the only thing left to want would be the rest of the world, but surely even then this could pay for it.

If all of this is in here, I wonder what kinda reward Pops'll give me when I get back out, Greed thought. The old man had looked like a beggar, so Greed obviously had the inclination to think that he was gonna be duped. He'd grab some gold on the way out; the old man was probably senile anyways, so Greed didn't think much about his warning.

A small passageway led the way into a smaller cave, circular and cool and full of water. He followed the stepping stones into the middle of the lake, ascending some rough stairs to where a beam of light fell upon a tarnished, golden lamp. Greed frowned and picked it up by the handle. "Dull little thing, ain't it?" he muttered, stuffing the rounded part into his pocket so that the spout stuck out of his coat.

He headed back down the rough stairs and back across the stepping stones, but he stopped at the archway leading back into the main chamber. Three huge, shining rubies were inlaid into the top and both sides of the arch, and he grinned before reaching out to try and see if they were at all loose.

His fingers merely brushed one of the rubies when the whole cave started to shake. Panic entered Greed's entire being as he recalled the old man's warning—he may have wanted riches, but he couldn't have them if he was dead.

He sprinted through the archway and into the main chamber, finding that all of the gold and treasures were falling down all around him because of the tremors. He rushed through the room, trying to stick to the main path, which was rapidly becoming buried. He managed to get to the stairs, but they were so steep that he nearly had to climb them.

"Hurry, boy!" the old man called. Greed looked up to see a scrawny hand reaching out to him. "Give me the lamp!"

"Help me out of here, dumb-ass!" Greed screeched, slipping down a couple of steps because the sand around him was starting to move.

"Give me the lamp!"

Greed scowled when he realized that the man wasn't going to help him unless he tossed up the lamp.

What a jackass.

"You know what, Pops?" Greed called up. "You can have it when I see you in hell!"

The old man's face became enraged, but all Greed did was stick his tongue childishly out at him as the mouth of the cave closed quickly, burying the old man. Greed let out a pleased noise and let the loose sand take him down to the bottom of the cave. By now, the tremors had stopped, and Greed was just happy that he hadn't been completely surrounded and suffocated.

Sure, he was eventually going to die of starvation down here, but at least he had a whole bunch of gold to keep him company.

He walked back into the main chamber and sat down on a pile of gold coins. It wasn't entirely comfortable, but he'd never done this in his life, so he thought he might as well start now. He looked around at the large cavern, wondering if anything would be able to help him dig himself out (how hard was it to dig upward, anyway?) when he remembered the lamp in his pocket. He pulled it out and frowned at the dirty little thing.

"Wonder why that crazy old guy wanted you," he muttered. He began to rub the lamp, irritated at its dinginess, when something happened.

The lamp giggled.

He nearly dropped it. In any case, he stopped rubbing it for a moment, thinking he had become crazy, before he hesitantly began rubbing it again.

And once again, there was laughter.

He rubbed it some more, and then there was a voice.

"S-stop it! That tickles!"

"What the fuck are you?" Greed asked, rubbing the lamp even harder.

There was a puff of smoke, and out of the spout of the lamp grew a person. He slid out of the lamp with the smoke and grew until he was about the same size (and, thankfully, solid shape) as Greed. The person-or-whatever-it-was had black hair pulled into a ponytail, squinty eyes, and a stupid-looking grin. He wore a simple turban on his head, had no shirt, and wore baggy white pants and yellow shoes. There were metallic, gold bands on his wrists.

He was also sitting cross-legged while floating in midair.

"Don't speak so impolitely!" he said impishly, floating around so that he was turning upside-down. "It's not very nice!"

Greed stared at him. "What…"

"What am I? I'm glad you asked!" He righted himself (though he still didn't touch the ground) and extended his limbs excitedly. "I'm Ling the Genie! And boy, am I happy to be out of that lamp!" He stretched his arms and arched his back, spinning around in the air some more. "May I ask who you are, Master?"

"G-Greed…" Greed blinked stupidly. "A…genie?"

Ling actually opened his eyes in surprise. "You don't know what a genie is?"

Greed was slowly becoming used to this Ling guy. "'Fraid I don't."

There was a puff of smoke, and suddenly there was a chalkboard behind Ling—and Ling suddenly looked like a teacher. "A genie is a magic being that can grant its master three wishes." He spun the chalkboard, and when it stopped, a giant "3" had been emblazoned on it. "There are only three restrictions to what a genie can do, though, so listen up!"

Ling popped back into his regular outfit before spinning the chalkboard again. While that was going on, Greed asked, "So can I wish for more—?"

"Nope! That's rule number one!" The chalkboard finished spinning, and now it said "#1." "No wishing for more wishes. I can only give you three, exactly three."

Greed crossed his arms, rather pissed at the restriction. "Fine. What're the other two?"

Ling grinned but didn't bother with the chalkboard this time. He held out his hand and raised two abnormally giant fingers. "Two: I can't make anyone fall in love with you. I can make 'em infatuated with ya, but no love. Nope nope."

Greed didn't see the problem with that. He got laid on a fairly regular basis, anyway. "And the last one?"

There was another puff of smoke, and Ling was suddenly lying in the middle of the air, looking mummified. He raised his arms dramatically and sat up. "I can't…bring anyone back…from the dead," he said overdramatically. He popped back into his regular form. "My last Masters tried to do that even in a roundabout way, and let's just say that one wasn't able to get some for years!"

Greed winced in sympathy. "Poor guy."

"Eh. He got over it eventually. Should've seen his brother, though. Always had the chance to get some but was too stupid to take it."

Greed frowned in thought. He was really quite amazed that he'd been lucky enough to find something magical down here. Ling could help him get out of this hellhole and back to civilization and the Devil's Nest. However, Greed only had three wishes. He'd have to think carefully about what exactly he wanted most of all—and he also needed a way to maximize everything he got from this genie.

Ling grinned at him. He really looked like quite the idiot. "Well? Any ideas? Any first wish? Huh? Huh?! Come on! It's been a hundred years! I haven't done anything in ages!" He rolled around, flailing his arms. "I want to eat!"

Greed grinned slyly, but quickly adopted a more passive facial expression. "I do, too. And damn, I know a good place. What's your favorite food?"

"PASTAAAAAAAA!"

Greed was blown back a bit by the force of Ling's shout; he rubbed at his ear a little, hoping he hadn't gone deaf. "Well, I know a great pasta place back in the city. I'd bring a little of this gold and pay for us, but…"

Ling's eyes were wide open and full of deep longing. "But what?"

"We're kinda stuck here. So we can't have pasta."

"NO PASTA?!" Ling suddenly stood up straight and looked at Greed, a determined light in his narrowed eyes. "I'll get us outta here; don't you worry, Greed. I'll get us to the pasta."

And then he pulled a startled Greed into a tight embrace before the two rocketed off in a burst of sparks and smoke. Greed started screaming in fright, but Ling just laughed manically, singing in delight about pasta or something.


a/n: I've been having slight block lately, and this came to mind today when I was listening to some Disney music on Pandora radio because I'm cool like that. Anyway, I dunno if I'll continue, but I sure do have ideas! Don't be afraid to suggest any Disney movies or scenes to do, and I don't mind if you suggest the characters, either (I just won't write anything AlMei, so please don't ask for that).

I dunno how often I'll update this, but I do know that this is a very fun idea and I hope I do have the time to add more to this. All chapters will not be related to each other unless otherwise stated, and the name of the movie the chapter is based on will be at the top. Please leave a review on your way out!