Night. Day. It's all the same now. Time blends into itself like a
kaleidoscope and and reality deteriorates into nothingness as though it had
never existed. Like sanity had only been a reflection cast by a laughing
mirror. A cracked mirror and jagged edged mirror. Maybe I'm the only one
that feels this, the only one that sees past the alluring illusion that the
mirror tempts your mind with. Maybe I'm the only one that sees sense.
There are holes in my head and when people speak to be their voices echo through them like they were tunnels. Holes that were created through a dagger stabbed silk veil. Can you hear the veil rip? That was my innocents torn to pieces. The veil bleeds and feelings are lost with the blood. Can you hear the blood drip? That's my humanity bleeding away.
I can hear screams in my head. They echo too. They play themselves over and over. Haunting my dreams at night and my thoughts at day. Like sickness, they feed off me, leaving me empty, cold and shaking. There's blood on my hands but it was not shed by me. I just had to watch as it was. Yet still it's there. I feel it's drying rub between my fingers. The memories haunt me, leaving me numb to reality
I feel the need for something and yet I don't know what. Maybe I want the insanity to stop. Maybe I want a normal life. A Normal family. To be able to love someone without fear of them being killed. Maybe I don't want to watch anyone else cry over me or someone that has been lost through my existing. Maybe the continuous façade of kindness and bravery wants to fall and crush those who depend upon it.
Maybe I want to inflict the pain on someone. Pain that would make them understand what I live with. Make them regret what they did or didn't do.
Watch the skin break under the sharpness of a knife.
Hear the tortured scream ripped from the throat as bones break.
Feel torn flesh between my fingernails like sand from the beach.
Smile as tearful eyes close one last time and ragged breath hitches and eventually stops.
Maybe I don't want anything.
And maybe I just want to die.
There are holes in my head and when people speak to be their voices echo through them like they were tunnels. Holes that were created through a dagger stabbed silk veil. Can you hear the veil rip? That was my innocents torn to pieces. The veil bleeds and feelings are lost with the blood. Can you hear the blood drip? That's my humanity bleeding away.
I can hear screams in my head. They echo too. They play themselves over and over. Haunting my dreams at night and my thoughts at day. Like sickness, they feed off me, leaving me empty, cold and shaking. There's blood on my hands but it was not shed by me. I just had to watch as it was. Yet still it's there. I feel it's drying rub between my fingers. The memories haunt me, leaving me numb to reality
I feel the need for something and yet I don't know what. Maybe I want the insanity to stop. Maybe I want a normal life. A Normal family. To be able to love someone without fear of them being killed. Maybe I don't want to watch anyone else cry over me or someone that has been lost through my existing. Maybe the continuous façade of kindness and bravery wants to fall and crush those who depend upon it.
Maybe I want to inflict the pain on someone. Pain that would make them understand what I live with. Make them regret what they did or didn't do.
Watch the skin break under the sharpness of a knife.
Hear the tortured scream ripped from the throat as bones break.
Feel torn flesh between my fingernails like sand from the beach.
Smile as tearful eyes close one last time and ragged breath hitches and eventually stops.
Maybe I don't want anything.
And maybe I just want to die.
