Why can't you forgive yourself?


There are many times that I'm just sitting there and it hits me hard. Here come the feelings that I thought I'd forgotten. I wish it wasn't too late. I wish I would have told her how much I loved her, how much I cared. Was she everything that I was looking for? I can no longer feel her touch. I took that for granted when she was still here. My mind races, wishing she was still here. Now she's gone and no matter how much I cry, she'll never know how I felt about her. I didn't realize that I loved her, until I lost her.

I still remember Aeris. The memories are so vivid. That moment she was praying at the altar. I can still remember her collapsing into my arms, the ribbon in her hair unraveling. I can remember lifting her lifeless body and placing her in the pool of water in the center of The Forgotten City. This was the last time I held her. The last time I would ever see her again. I can remember trying to hold back burning tears as I watched her rest beneath the water, forever peaceful. From that moment on, I vowed to meet her at the The Promised Land.

I can't stop the flashbacks. I remember her too often in millions of different ways. I remember her in the early mornings, in the late night, when I'm looking up at the sky, when I smell flowers.

Death is so final - there isn't much that can prepare you to experience it.


I never blamed you. Not once. You came for me. That's all that matters.