Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or Alucard…not that I'd want to own Alucard. He'd be more work than I could handle
Integra sat behind her desk looking over the paperwork from the last few mission. She had decided that there wasn't enough of a threat to send her vampire and so Alucard had spent the night pestering her before and after the missions, making it impossible for her to get any work done. Tonight she was taking advantage of a vampire free evening and getting the paperwork done. However, after a few hours of not seeing the NoLife King, she began to wonder what trouble he was getting into. Alucard always had a nasty habit of bothering his current master whenever he was bored. Integra preferred him bored though; mostly because whenever he wasn't, he was either destroying something or scaring the crap out of the staff. Alucard, come. She ordered and after a minute, her vampire didn't show. Alucard, come she repeated but there was still no response. Annoyed, the head of Hellsing got up and headed to the basement to drag her servant to her office by his fangs.
She threw open his door in a fit of anger and was about to lecture him as she dragged him when she saw just what was occupying her monster's time. He was cross-stitching. A book of patterns lay open on his end table with the fabric and thread in his lap. The Nosferatu looked up after completing a section of whatever it was he copying from the book and took a small pencil and crossed off some of the little squares in the book and returned the pencil to its resting place behind his ear. "Good evening, Master," he grinned and leaned back in his chair as he watched his dumb-founded master stare at him.
Integra knew she was staring and knew that her vampire was enjoying her staring. After another half a minute, she was able to get over her shock and glare at him, "I've summoned you twice…what are you doing?" Her lecture trailed off as the strange sight started to sink in.
"Cross-stitching, master," he replied as if he was talking about something normal like the weather. Alucard grinned again and resumed his work. Too curious to be angry, Integra walked closer to see just what image he was forming. She looked at the mess in his lap and the image in the book. A bat. I should've known she thought.
"That hardly looks like a bat, servant," the woman commented. The vampire gave a light shrug and continued his work.
"I am still learning," he commented without looking up. Obviously Integra mused.
"Why are you cross-stitching?" The question sounded dumb even in her head but she couldn't stop herself from asking it.
This time her vampire looked up at her with a grin that said that her question was indeed stupid, "I was bored." The master of the monster could only stare at him.
"But cross-stitching?" She gestured at the thread to further prove her point, "why?"
Alucard shrugged again, "why not?" Feeling like she had entered an alternate dimension, Integra left her monster to his new hobby; forgetting all about the reason she was down in the basement to begin with.
Integra sat behind her desk in her office and was staring at the work in front of her, her mind still on the scene of Alucard cross-stitching. Leaning back, she lit her cigar and sighed, "I'm still not going to be able to get any work done."
And there you go! I'm taking a break from my "King Nothing" story in hopes that doing something different will help get my creative juices flowing. Besides, the idea of Alucard cross-stitching was too funny NOT to do.
If you have any suggestions on what other strange hobbies Alucard should do, feel free to let me know.
