Disclaimer: Not mine.

Spoilers: En Ami

A/N: I keep finding old stories on my computer. Bonus.


"Get in the car," Mulder said as they exited the building. Scully gave one last look at the window that had housed Spender's offices.

"Mulder, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"I said, get in the car," he repeated tersely, hitting the automatic unlock button on his keychain. She could do nothing other than obey. The seatbelt felt as if it was strangling her, and the car felt oppressive, as if the eight inch distance between her and her angry partner was more like eight miles contained in a sardine can.

She watched, mesmerized, as the wiper blades cleared off the windshield. They worked together to make everything clean again, but as soon as they were done, more junk fell down. There wasn't a moment's peace for the wiper blades, and there certainly wasn't any in her life.

She sighed and turned to look at her partner. His jaw was set in a firm line, an expression she recognized as her own. His eyes never drifted from the road, and had not made contact with hers the whole time she had been back. He'd been betrayed. And she had done it. The realization hit her suddenly and she sucked in a large breath to keep from crying. She had always vowed that out of all the people in the world, she would be the least likely candidate to betray him. She'd failed.

They pulled up outside her apartment several moments later. He turned the car off and they sat there, silent, watching the rain fall.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, looking down at her hands, sure that a glance in his direction would cause her to loose her nerve. "I know I shouldn't have gone with him. It was stupid and-"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Mulder-"

"No. You knew exactly what you were doing, what it would do to me. And you did it anyway."

She sighed, realizing that this wasn't getting her anywhere.

"I've already done everything that there is to do to cure you, Scully. You know that. I don't know why you felt that going away with him was going to help you. I don't know why you trusted him."

"I didn't."

"And you'd get mad when I trusted Diana and you knew how that felt and now you do this."

"Mulder, I didn't set out to hurt you."

"You know how much I hate the guy, you know what he's capable of, and yet you go blindly into the unknown on simple faith that what? He's going to cure you? He's going to tell you a bunch of crap that's just designed to make you feel better, or worse, designed to make you give up."

"Mulder-"

"I don't know how you could do this to me. After seven years-"

"Mulder!"

He turned and looked at her, having forgotten that she was even in the car.

"I didn't do this to hurt you. I wasn't trying to betray you. I just needed answers."

"I've given you all the answers! Can't you see that? I've laid them all out before you; you're just too stubborn to see. You're so closed off you won't believe anything anymore, even if I do have the scientific evidence to prove it to you."

She got out of the car. It wasn't worth hearing; she'd heard it all before. She stomped away in no particular direction, not caring how hard the rain was beating down or how fast the wind was picking up.

"Scully, stop," Mulder commanded, following her. She walked faster. "Dana!" He shouted, running to catch up with her.

"This has nothing to do with you and it certainly has nothing to do with Diana. It has everything to do with me and what I need and heaven forbid I ever do anything for myself."

"Scully-"

"No Mulder, I get to talk. You're so hurt that I would run off and leave you and betray you, but that's not the point. The point is that you couldn't be the hero this time. You always have been and this time you weren't and that freaks you out. So instead of accepting the fact that I can take care of myself and make my own judgments, you have to get on my case about how stupid I am. And to compare what I did to what you did is completely unfounded."

"No it's not! I trusted Diana, someone you hate. You trusted Spender, someone I hate."

"There's a huge difference, Mulder. When you trust Diana you make me trust her too. When I trusted Spender that was just me. You weren't involved in it at all."

"Scully, don't you understand? If I had lost you that would have affected me a lot."

"Mulder, I can defend myself against Spender. I can't defend myself against the cancer. I was doing this so you wouldn't loose me. Don't you get that? Do you think I run purely on emotion and never give a thought to what I'm doing? Do you honestly think that?"

"Didn't you tell me that it had all become personal?"

"I did. But that's so far removed from what we're talking about here."

"Can we go inside?"

"What?"

"It's freezing out here and it's wet and I can barely hear you and I'm feeling like I have to yell and I don't want to yell at you, so can we go inside?"

She was silent, walking back to her building. He followed closely behind, placing his hand on the small of her back as they went through the front door. She jerked away and fished her keys out of her pocket, then led him inside her apartment. Neither said anything, just stood there staring at each other.

"I'll get you a towel," she said finally, heading to her bedroom. He followed her, remembering that he had a change of clothes stored in the bottom of her closet. She was leaning against her dresser, her eyes closed. He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him in a hug. She hugged him back, a far cry from the reaction he was expecting.

"I just don't want to lose you," he admitted. She sighed against him.

"I know. But you've got to learn to trust me."

"I do trust you. I don't trust him."

"Mulder, where did you get the chip before? Who told you where to find it, what to do with it?"

"He did," he finally said after a long silence.

She was quiet.

"I sent you those tapes, Mulder. I sent them so you would know I was okay."

"But you weren't."

"I'm here aren't I? And yes, I was in danger at one point, but not from him. He very well may have saved my life."

Mulder sighed and released her, walking to the closet to get his extra clothes.

"Mulder, I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not," he tossed over his shoulder as he headed towards the bathroom. "I just don't think I'm going to let you out of my sight for a while."

She grinned and changed her clothes quickly, leaving the door open and knowing that he wouldn't come in without shouting out a warning first.

"Hot chocolate?" he hollered, shuffling into the kitchen.

"Sure."

She followed his voice and joined him at the stove.

"I don't like to fight with you," she admitted, smiling up at him.

"Ditto," he replied, leaning down and kissing her. She pulled away after only a moment, her brow furrowing in a glare.

"What?"

"Mulder, I don't like fighting with you but that doesn't mean this fight is over, and it doesn't mean I feel like kissing you again."

"Sorry," he apologized dejectedly.

"I didn't say you could never kiss me again. I said not now."

"Okay."

She was quiet for a moment.

"You know, I don't think we would be having this fight if there hadn't been kissing involved already."

"I knew that was coming."

"Mulder, don't sound so sad. I'm not going to stop kissing you because we had a fight. I'm going to stop fighting so I can kiss you."