A Usual Noob in TF2

(A recording from a match of Team Fortress 2)

BLU Heavy was ready to capture the control point when he felt a sharp pain in his back.

Heavy opened his mouth.

"MEEE-eeeeediiiiiiiiccc!"

Heavy noticed an odd change in his voice.

It sounded like a 9-year-old boy.

He saw a Demoman using the Splendid Screen.

"Speedhacker!" cried Heavy. He was not even meaning to talk!

"Oh my god!" he yelled. "Ur a gy knob! U spedhaker! Ths is a fale sever! We ned moar Snippers!"

Medic appeared and handed him a note.

"Heavy! There is something wrong with my voice!"it read.

Medic opened his mouth. "I won't heal you! You're hacking to get more health! You noob!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile, BLU Sniper was aiming through a broken window. He turned around to see a RED Spy, not cloaked or disguised in any way, standing behind him.

"Hoi mate!" said Spy in a terrible impression of the Sniper. "It is my team's fault I was not covered! They are noobs!"

Those were his last words before his brains were blown out.

RED Engineer started building a sentry.

"Erectin' a sentry!" he cried.

He set up a dispenser as well, and waited 9 minutes for the other team.

"Any second now..." he muttered to himself.

"Wait...ah've been at the wrong point this whole time, haven't ah? Dagnabit!"

He demolished his machines and headed towards the other point.

"The control point has been captured!"

"Oh no!" cried Engineer as the BLU team came charging down the corridor at him.

He was hit by a rocket, Jarate, a grenade, and hundreds of bullets at once. He died.

BLU Medic heard a Heavy yelling for him.

He walked over and deployed a heal beam.

Medic stayed healing the Heavy until he was ready for an Übercharge.

He immediately deployed the charge.

There was no enemies nearby.

The Heavy was out of ammo.

The Übercharge wore off. The RED team ran towards the duo and blew them to pieces.

Suddenly, the BLU Medic died.

Behind them appeared the Heavy.

He decloaked and revealed that he was the RED Spy.

"Gentlemen," he said, headshotting the team with the Ambassador.

What is the moral of this story? Never do these things. EVER. I'm serious. Or you'll become...

A

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