Malik Ishtar the Evil of Evil

Chapter 1: I shall fulfill my Legacy! Muhahahaha!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.

Note: Just so things are funny, the "Yami" people have separate bodies unless noted.

Chapter 1: I shall fulfill my Legacy! Muhahahaha!!

"Hi. Welcome to my sucky life where I'm forced to go to school, have this fic about myself have its format changed, making it less funny unless the author can be smart and have witty stuff added and live in the same city as Yuugi. Sure the real way to spell Yuugi's name is actually 'Yugi' but just to piss off the viewers, it will be 'Yuugi.' Anyway, I live with my sister, Isis, my dark side Yami Malik and Lishido." The main character if this idiotic fic stood proud in his small confide room (which had the crappest looking decorations by the way)

"I am secretly trying to fulfill my legacy!" Malik whispered. And oddly enough, no one was in the room and he was still talking to himself.

"It's no secret you idiot! You tell everyone you see you will fulfill your legacy...Like you ever will." The second bitchyest person in this series, Yami Malik said as he suddenly appeared in the room.

"Hey! Shut up! I am gonna fulfill my legacy!" He continued to stand proud, making himself look all almighty. Too bad he still looked like a dumbass.

"Hey!"

"Malik! Breakfast!" Isis calls out and somehow mystically, Malik hears her.

"Coming Isis!" Malik calls back. He then begins to exit his room and go down stairs.

"My life really sucks, but I told you that already, didn't I? And life REALLY sucks when you don't get downstairs fast enough to eat your share of the food before other people eat it. Damn Lishido and 'other me' always eating my food...When I fulfill my legacy they shall be bowing as my feet begging for mercy! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"

Malik walked downstairs to eat breakfast only to find his yami side eating his food!

"Noooooo! My food!" Malik said as he sobbed and cried like a wussy girl. Gotta give the guy credit that he can act like a girl.

But anyway, Malik watched in horror as the last bit of his good looking food was devoured by his other self.

"Yum." Yami Malik licked his lips as if he was a child.

"How dare you eat my food! I will make you pay in the name of the moon!" Malik struck a pose. (1)

"What are you, gay?" Spat Yami Malik...Literally!

Malik then went to go get Yami Malik's favorite playboy magazine so he could threaten his dear friend with it. But, since I think that is a crappy idea to put in this fic, it has been Erased! And because the scene no longer exists, that would mean that the scene...No longer exists. And that something new happens!

"See this set of glass animals that are used for accessorizing houses?" Malik came rushing back from the other room as he held it in his hand.

"Yeah?" Yami Malik said.

"Well now it is gone!" He said as he smashed it to pieces.

"Uh, that wasn't even mine." The white haired guy who would like to kill people like me and you for looking at him. Or even smelling him.

"Well, uh, if it was yours, then you would be pretty pissed." Malik pointed out in an intelligent way.

"If it was mine then yes, I would be pissed and would want to strangle you to death with that phone cord over there and then cut you up into tiny pieces and then send you piece by piece to that guy who lives down the street." Finished Yami Malik. He then shook his head in disgust that I lacked vocabulary.

"Malik, he called you gay. Aren't you going to do something about it?" Isis asked. Sure she thought she was gonna be a main character in this fic, but nope. She's just a minor character.

"I don't know yet. However, I am plotting a master plan as we speak!" Malik chuckled obnoxiously as the rest of the people in the room fell down anime style.

"You are can be that way! Looking all weird with those matching pajama's you all bought for yourself but forgot to buy me a matching one so I can't be matching with all of you!" He then ran off like a pussy, which was kinda entertaining to see.

So then Malik decided to go to school, since he was supposed to go anyway.

"Another day in this hellhole! I must let this school realize my legacy! I shall torture my classmates till I can't torture them no more!....Or at least until I need a break."

And then there was silence...

"But you won't read about me and my evil plot till the next chapter! Bwa ha ha ha ha!" He laughed evilly. And then viciously. And then in an evil mechanical way. And then he just laughed.

Meanwhile, in a house that was brown, that was on land, that was in a neighborhood, that was in a town, that was in a country, that was in the Earth, that was in space and that was in the universe, a man let out a cry.

"Who broke my glass animal collection?!"

To Be Continued

Will Malik torture his classmates? Will he fulfill his legacy? Will Bakura show up in the next chapter? Am I only talking about Bakura so I can attract people to keep reading this story? And will I ever develop a sense of humor that will be funny in writing?

Find out some of the things in the next chapter!

r&r!

(1) Malik is acting like Sailor Moon from the anime series "Sailor Moon"