If you want OTH you reconize the song, Been a Long Day by Rosi Golan
read and enjoy,
and take a second to close your eyes and picture the end
Enjoy! and review!
xoxo
Manda
It's been a long day
And all I've gotta say is make it strong
It's been a long day
And all I've gotta say is I've been wrong
So take a leave of absence
Tell me you'll be gone
I don't wanna see your face
It's been a long day
And I just wanna hide away
She dragged herself into the bar almost completely out of it, how could the words 'I love you' mean so much of nothing to him? How could he betray her like that? She'd given every piece of herself to him. Every piece which completely included her trust, her trust which wasn't something that she gave away very easily, but he'd been different, she'd thought he'd been different. Now every part of her felt broken and destroyed and it was all at his hands. She needed to numb her pain, they knew her well enough there. She'd saved the place with Chuck Bass's help, they'd serve her. All she wanted to do was to forget her pain for a little while. Forget the image of Nate and Blair looking like something on the front of a hallmark card in Gossip
Girl's latest blast, forget the fight she'd had with him, forget the breakup. All of it were pieces from her mind that she wanted to forget and pretend never happened. They hurt far too much to think about for even a second.
Her eyes were bubbling up, it was so out of character for her. Her walls were built up so she didn't cry. But, he'd broken down all of her barriers and she felt like she had to. it wasn't the first time tears fell due to him. She pushed open the wooden door of the bar only to stop in her tracks. The whole bar was empty besides one lone figure sitting with one from the bottles from behind the counter rather than a glass. Chuck bass looked up and nodded to her, she should have expected him to be there. After all, he'd understand, they both suddenly had something in common. Heartbreak.
Chuck didn't say anything as he stood up from his spot, pulled out the chair beside him motioning for her to sit down and disappeared behind the bar. After the long day she'd had she just needed not to be alone, so she walked forward and took the seat at the bar.
"Strongest thing they got?"
"You know it"
There was an agreement in the way he nodded and pushed the bottle of vodka her way.
She hadn't expected her day to turn out in such disarray, working one moment and the next her cell phone's going off with the latest GG blast of her boy friend with that boyfriend stealing, world revolving bitch Blair Waldorf. She knew she'd been wrong many times, he'd been at fault just as much, but never, never had she wanted things to go the way that had gone, who would have thought she'd of ended up drinking with Chuck Bass of all people. He, he knew he should have seen it coming, Blair's self centered bitch ways seeping though. She'd never change and they both knew it, even Blair knew it.
"You both just need space you know, in time you'll both see it"
"We're not you and Blair"
"Exactly, you're both better than that."
"Just give me another bottle."
It's been a long week
And all the lines come down heavy on me
It's been a long week
I'm finally feeling like its ok to break
Into a thousand pieced
No one can replace
Only I can find my way
It's been a long day
And I just wanna hide away
Laying on her side on his bed with just the black silk sheet covering her body she knows it's wrong but her heart was ripped out of her chest a week ago, his was too. They eliminate one another's pain for just a little while. She feels him place light kisses to her shoulder and head up her neck and she freezes. Understanding he stops, he'd taught Nathaniel things well apparently. He rolls onto his back and she does the same just moments after. Their eyes meet for a moment, he's come to see and know every broken, hurt, tormented expression that the dark haired girl has. Looking at her face he knows how bad she's feeling and he makes the slightest move to pull her closer to his chest and hold her there. They're one another's comforts, two people who have both been badly wronged.
He's gotten to know her, the real her… just as she's done him. They understand one another on a better level now. not one either of them had expected. They both know it's only pain sex, trying to forget what's going on for a while. But they also know, that they're friends now, better then they had been over a week ago. He hugs her tightly and kisses the top of her head, how Nate could hurt her he doesn't understand. Blair he wasn't surprised, it was the way she did things, never caring about anyone but herself. It was the way he was on the surface… the way he wasn't underneath.
"You're better than him you know"
"you know, you don't have to say that because you just slept with me."
"I'm not, I'm being honest"
"well, that's a first"
"Yea, tell me about it."
They both laughed as Vanessa stretched out of his hug clutching the sheet closer around her as she sat up. Looking off out the window she started to get lost in her thoughts. Thinking about all of the times she'd laid in bed in Nate's arms both after the sun had gone down and after the sun had risen in the sky. She felt like she wanted to hide, it'd been a week and her constantly sinking feeling still stayed intact. There was no denying that she missed him, missed him more then she'd ever thought it was possible to miss anyone.
She heard the flicker of a lighter only to soon smell the smoke from the cigarette he'd just lit. Without any hesitation she reached over to him to take it from him. Smoking was one of the sudden things she'd picked up from hanging around Chuck Bass far too much. Vanessa sucked in a deep breath of the nicotine and let it sit for a moment before blowing it at the ceiling, smoking and drinking had become Vanessa Abrams new current past times. She'd take anything that would get her mind off of her problems, anything to just escape and not fall to pieces at the slightest of thoughts of him with someone else.
They'd seen Blair and Nate once, they were walking out of a store late one night while Vanessa and Chuck were stumbling half drunk out of a club. Even intoxicated Vanessa had been able to make out his perfect navy eyes. So she'd done what her mind was telling her to do rather than her heart, she turned and kissed Chuck with everything she had in her. It hadn't made her broken heart feel any better, the only thing it did get her was into Chuck's limo faster then they'd been heading there to begin with. She was self destructing on her own.
"Want to go out? Do something to get minds off"
"How about out of the city for the day?"
"I'll call the driver, visit some colleges?"
"I don't really…"
"Nate applied for you, you'll be getting letters in the mail. He wanted what was best"
"Asshole"
It's been a long year
And everyone around me is disappearing
It's been a long year
And all this mess around me is finally clear
So can I have a moment
Just to say hello
Can u let your anger go
It's been a long year
And I'm finally ready to be here
"I swear Nate… you go over there and hurt her again…"
"I'm not going to"
"She's still healing from the last time you said that."
"I know, believe me, I regret it every day."
His eyes watched her as he spoke words to his former best friend regarding his ex girlfriend. An ex girlfriend he'd completely screwed up with on two chances. He'd been afraid of love, the love that was so strong, too strong for him to even grasp a hold of. As he stood back watching her sprawled out on the grass of the Brown University Quad, camera in her hand as she filmed the sky there wasn't s sight in the world that he'd rather of seen. The flowers from the cherry blossoms had fallen all around her, casting a sheet of pink over the grass and making everything just that much more dream like. She was like a scene in the movies, a movie scene that he just wanted to be a part of. He was tired of messing up and causing her more pain then she'd ever deserved to be put through. He just wanted to see her smile again, to see her hazel eyes light with excitement, much as they'd done the night with the mask, the night she'd walked into his room and dropped her trench coat with a slightly nervous giggle. It was moments like that he'd never forget, moments of her pure happiness.
Steps as he walked closer to where she was laying were hesitant. Part of him knew she didn't want to see him, Chuck had made that much clear. He needed to hear it from her mouth. Have her words sting his heart with more pain that he'd caused himself. He was standing right beside her torso when she finally took the camera away from her eyes and looked up at him. There was sadness and confusion in her eyes, but there, there was that little spark of light. As dim as it was he could see it there in her eyes, the light he'd held onto so tightly in the cold nights.
She didn't say anything to him, she simply shut off her camera and put it down by her side that wasn't close to him with her other hand she made the motions for him to sit down with her. He took in everything about her as he lowered himself to the ground on top of all of the pink flower peddles, his eyes never left hers just as hers never left his. With carefulness he laid down beside her on the ground.
"I'm so sorry, I never meant to…"
"Nate… don't."
"But I…"
"Please, just shh"
It'd been a year since they'd spoke, since anything had been said to one another. A year since he'd broken her heart to pieces. He knew he'd done her wrong in so many ways. But this, this lying beside her on the cool grass gazing up at the blue cloudy sky it felt so right. being beside her had been the only place he'd wanted to be for an entire year. Now, here he was, he had the chance to be beside her finally. So many regrets framed Nate's life, losing Vanessa and letting her go had just been one more regret.
She didn't bother to speak to him again as she lifted her head and slowly put it to his chest, herself listening to the beat of his heart, something that had often put her to sleep in the past. Things weren't perfect, things wouldn't ever be perfect but they were together again, together just the way she and he had both missed. He took the moment to put both of his arms around her and hug her tightly to his chest. He was ready to protect her this time, to protect her and not screw up liked he'd always ended up doing in the past, something he hated himself for doing.
Chuck watched them from across the quad as he leaned against the trunk of one of the cherry blossom trees. He was very protective of Vanessa. It was a protective older brother feeling that would last. He knew in his best friend's arms was the place she was the most comfortable and that was a place he wanted her to be, he needed her to be happy. Regardless of how much he and Nate fought, Nate was his best friend, but, if he hurt Vanessa again Chuck would make him pay for it. It was a fact that wasn't said by either of the two, a fact that was just understood. Knowing that the two laying in the middle of the quad were going to be just fine Chuck pulled out his own cell phone and pressed a very familiar speed dial button.
They'd all get their happy ending one way or another.
