Mom Lalonde and Rose lalonde
I still love you, Mom.
Rose stood in front of me staring down at the headstone that resembled where her father rested. She's only four. I knelt and turned her to look at me. I cupped her left cheek with my hand gently. I felt her tearstained cheek. I gave the bravest smile I could manage. "Rose, things are gonna be different now. But I need you to be brave for me. Okay?" I said struggling against tears. She nodded once and hugged me tightly. I picked her up and hugged back. I started to walk to the car. We'd been at his grave for hours. We stayed after the service to say our final goodbyes. Rose must be starving. I sat her in the back seat and got in. I started the car and pulled away. I angled the mirror above my dash board to look at Rose. "Wanna get something to eat?" I looked back at her she yawned. "Yeah." She said in a sleepy saddened voice. I pulled up to Mcdonalds and got Rose a cheeseburger and some fries.
Rose ate then fell asleep. Minutes later I pulled up to the house. I got out of the car and opened Rose's door. I unbuckled her seat belt and picked her up. I carried her to the house as she slept walking to her room. I layed her on top of the purple bed set and pulled the blanket over her. Just before I left the room I turned around and laid next to her. I kissed her forehead and fell asleep.
I drove up to Rose's school. She smiled and kissed my cheek before exiting the car and running to her friends. She's already eight. I pulled away sighing. I spent the rest of the day cleaning. I waited outside on the porch for the school bus to pull up. I took a sip of the glass of vodka I had poured. A few minutes after that I heard the familiar sound of the bus's engine. Rose ran off the steps and ran up the driveway. "Mommy! Mommy!" She called out. I set down my glass and opened my arms. She jumped up into them and laughed as I spun her around. "Mommy, I lost a tooth!" She held a small tooth in her palm and showed me. I smiled. "If you put it under your pillow the tooth fairy will leave you money." I spoke happily. She smiled. "Really!?" She exclaimed excited.
I nodded. "Mhm." I answered. She hopped down and pulled me to her bedroom. She carefully put the tooth under her pillow. I smiled at her. She sat down in front of her doll house and started to play with her dolls. I smiled and walked back down stairs. I started dinner. After we ate she brushed her teeth changed into pajamas and was sent to bed. I made my way to her room careful not to wake her up. I lifted her pillow a bit and took the tooth and left five dollars in its place. I made my way to my room and laid myself on the bed and fell asleep.
"Hey, honey. I was thinking we could watch a movie. Maybe order a pizza?" I offered as Rose walked in from school. "Can't." She answered and continued to walk to her room. I sighed. Ever since she turned twelve she's been distant. She's thirteen now. I finished the glass of vodka and walked to the bathroom. I started a bath. Rose knocked on the door. "Mom I'm going out. Be back later." Before I could say anything she had left. I took a bath and walked to my room. I got dressed and laid in bed. After awhile I fell asleep.
Rose blew out the candle on the cake and ate a slice. She just turned fourteen. We don't talk anymore. Small talk here and there. I smiled and ate with her. After that she walked to the living room. She sat on the couch and began reading. I set knitting needles in her lap and smiled. "Happy birthday." I smiled as I spoke. She smiled and hugged me tightly. I hugged back we stayed that way. For a while.
A week later I woke up and looked at a bag at the corner of my bed. I sat up and looked into it. It was a dark and light purple scarf. A really long one. I unfolded the note and read it aloud to myself.
"Mom, I knitted this for you with the needles you got me. I still love you, mom.
-Rose"
