Disclaimer: I don't own Saitou, Ok? ...but, I still think he's cool.

As She Sleeps (Saitou's POV)

As she sleeps, this angel of mine, I could not ask for more. She's with me and that's enough.

But it's a lie. It's always been a lie. She doesn't love me as I love her. She loves HIM. What am I in comparison to him? And how can I compete with a rival that does not fight back because he lives no more?

She smiles, my angel.

A smile for another.

She whispers words of love.

Words for another.

She calls a name.

The name of another.

And still my angel sleeps.

She sheds tears of sorrow.

Tears for another.

She berates herself for that other's death.

A death she sees as her fault.

She cries for punishment.

A punishment undeserved yet received daily as she punishes herself...

...with those suicide missions...those self-imposed isolation and starvation periods...those sleepless nights...and the constant blame and consuming guilt she imposes on herself for something she could not have prevented...must fate be so cruel to my angel?

I kiss away her tears and soothe her agitated state.

And still my angel sleeps.

Ironic, is it not that my moment of joy is also my moment of disillusion? For it is then that the veil falls and I see what hides behind it. A woman far beyond my reach. A woman whose heart can never be mine yet holds the key to my heart. I am only grateful that she does not crush that fragile love of mine in the iron hand she conceals within a velvet glove.

So, I rejoice in what little I have. Although I can never have her heart or the soul that makes me love her at least I have her body to comfort and hold at night.

I'd do anything to make her happy. Anything. So, I stay and serve as a replacement for her lost beloved - admittedly, an inadequate and inferior one.

If he were here, I'd step aside. That's how much I love her. After all, isn't love doing everything possible for the sake of your loved one - even if it means losing that loved one? Yet I laugh at my folly. If he WAS here, she would not even see me. She'd see only him. Always him. How can I compete with that? But, as she sleeps, when she is silent and at peace, she is mine and that's enough.