I don't own Naruto, but I've made peace with that now. Maybe. Well, Sort of. Not really….SHUT UP! cries TOT

Hard to Accept

"Are you KIDDING me???

"Nope. I'm almost a hundred percent sure."

"No WAY. That's totally, SUPER retarded and UNFAIR!!"

"Well deal with it, it's the truth."

"…C'mon, Shikamaru, aren't there rules to determine that sort of thing?"

"There are. And according to them, it's YOU, Naruto."

"No way…no way OH EM GEE Shikamaru that's untrue and you KNOW IT!"

"sigh Don't speak so loud, you'll give me a headache. I knew talking to you about this would be troublesome…Would you want me to spell it out for you? YOU—ARE—THE—"

"Alright, alright CONVINCE ME. What are these "rules" and how does that make ME it and not Sasuke?"

"Well, from what I understand, it's always the more…uh…effeminate one."

"…w. t. f. Shikamaru, I don't think that's even a word."

"(And Dattebayo is?) In other words, compared to Sasuke, you are the girly one. And stop speaking in acronyms; it's annoying."

"(I'll speak however I want to, n00b.) And that's a total LIE. I'm manliest ninja in Konoha!!"

"snort"

"What is so funny about THAT?"

"Nothing. But the golden rule in these matters is this: The shorter one is always it."

"...Nuh UH…LIES Shikamaru, horrible HORRIBLE LIES!!"

"I'm afraid it's true."

"But he's SO ANGSTY!! He can't be the—"

"Oh but he is, Naruto, he is."

"Remember when we went to go save him?? The exact thing he told me was 'No Naruto, I can't go back to Konoha because-Insert 20 episodes of OPEN SORROWFULL ANGSTYNESS here. He HAS to be it!"

"He could be a WHINE-oceros riding the WAH-mbulance to ANGST-ville; if he's taller, it doesn't matter. Those are the rules."

"…but…no...C'mon his friggin NAME has the WORD right in it!!!"

"Face it Naruto. YOU are the uke."

"…stfu. OW what was that for??"

"(lol)"

This was an actual convo between me and a friend. I just put different names…I was mad at Sasuke for being an emo at the time, but I had to face facts…poor naruto but I have to admit it would be weird it he was the seme…

And yes, she really did hit me. XO