I feel like I am in a cage; trapped within my own existence.
Take me to the hospital and have this drained from my body and mind.
I wonder how I ever got this far, holding onto the fragments of dreams.
I want these tears to dry…these wounds to heal.
I want to be free of this curse, but I'm afraid.
Afraid that if I change, all that I know will fall apart.
I guess I've defined myself by this illness, yet I have little knowledge as to who I am.
I don't want this struggle to be mine.
I don't want this fear, loathing and pain to belong to me any longer.
I'm tired of hiding myself and what I believe in.
I'm tired of pretending to be someone else; I want to be myself, whoever the fuck that is.
I know that I can't be happy if I'm hiding away.
May the shield crack, crumble and fall away.
Cleanse me of my past life.
No longer will I be the one with the broken heart.
Falling away from all my old and incorrect ways.
Let Ra's flames burn away the bitterness, greed and hate;
allow the flames to cleanse me.
Seamless acts of beauty always around me.
Always able to see, but never able to roach or become.
Fading fast, like a distant memory of the past.
This body that I am in disgusts and repulses me.
Thing things I truly favour are my scars.
Each have distinct memories, feelings and reasons.
Lines and designs decorating my flesh, it hardly seams human.
I don't want to be a part of the confusion of man.
I want the darkness to fade into a distant memory.
This thing we call life will chew you up and spit you out.
I cannot deny the confusion and sadness that weighs down my heart.
I don't want to be empty, hurt and alone when I die.
The one thing that I have is my intellect-and I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me.
I won't let them get me;
They always want to hurt me, break me down, take the things that belong to me.
I want to know that my dreams are within reach, that I'm not just stupid.
I want to be able to hold my success in my hands.
