When working on 'The Case of the Fickle Lady', a wise reader said that s/he could imagine Toothless playing a saxophone in the background as Tuffnut narrated the tale. I vowed there and then, one day I would do a story like the one you are about to read... Dragon Noir.

The Short Nap

Chapter 1

It was a cold day for late July, but that wasn't strange for Berk. The summers here were shorter than Snotlouts temper while the winters were long, drawn out and seemed to go on forever like an evening concert of Gobbers greatest hits. As I placed my last piece of wood in the fireplace, it became clear to me why Gothi (the village wise woman) had cornered the market in Terrible Terrors. By having a small tribe of small dragons living with her instead of one big dragon, she could have constant heat all winter by keeping a rock pile glowing red hot without the risk of reaching each dragons shot limit.

Unfortunately I found myself in the unfortunate position of only having half a dragon and unfortunately, he was out with my selfish sister who was running some errands on her half of the dragon... unfortunately.

As I contemplated my unfortunate situation, there came a light tap at the door. It opened slowly revealing the silhouette of a young woman... and what a woman! She had tussled blonde hair that fell over her right eye, a slender figure and legs that went all the way to the ground. Shame about the tatty old boots though. She sauntered into the room and I soon realised that this girl reeked of trouble... or was it my sister's coat hanging by the door? I felt sure that this was the kind of woman who could make men do things with only a smile; the kind of things that would see them end up hanging from the end of a rope.

"I need your help."

It was not so much a request, as it was an order. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it.

"Take a load off doll face" I invited her to take a chair "and tell me what's got you panties in a bunch."

"Oh no... don't tell me you're in one of your 'moods' again?" she sighed as she sat down.

"Never mind about that sweet cheeks, just give me the straight poop" I told her.

"The... what?" she exclaimed.

"The lowdown, the inside story, an earful of illumination; but don't you give me no bum steer."

"Maybe I should go ask Fishlegs instead."

"Do whatever you want doll, but don't come running back here when the Fish Man lets you down; his mind is only on his Gronckle most of the time."

"At least we know where his mind is... I'm sure yours is off on a holiday somewhere."

Her insulting tone was very endearing and I soon found myself day dreaming about a cosy cottage high on a hill with two dragons playing in the front yard. These were dangerous thoughts for a slewfoot like me; you start dreaming of the simple life and before you know it, you've let your guard down and find yourself in Berk Harbour, sleeping with the Scauldrons wearing a pair of stone bed slippers.

"I don't know if you've noticed Tuffnut, but there have been some strange things going on at the dragon races. It started a few weeks ago when Hiccup and Toothless had to withdraw mid race when a tail strut snapped. Hiccup said it was just 'unfortunate' and his own fault for not maintaining Toothless's tail properly, but I went looking for the broken part and although I'm no blacksmith, it looked like it had been... tampered with."

It was well known in the village, that the Nadder rider who sat opposite me had the hots for the big bosses' son, so it would have been easy to put her suspicion down to being nothing more than simple paranoia about someone putting her man in danger. But I myself had notice a succession of incidents during the current racing season and so I came to the conclusion that someone needed to investigate the situation.

"Someone needs to investigate the situation" I declared.

"Don't get too crazy Tuffnut" the blonde bombshell sighed at me "Just keep your eyes and ears open and tell me if anything suspicious turns up."

With all said and done, she arose from her seat and drifted out the door like an analogical simile. I leant back in my chair and gazed out the window over the village. It was a jungle out there... well... there was a forest on the northern side at least. Astrid's information had put my head in a spin; so someone was fixing the dragon races for fun and profit. It did not take me too long to come up with a short list of likely suspects. Shining brightly at the top of that list was the wise guy who wanted it all... but couldn't have any of it.

I decided to pay him a friendly visit.