How cold it is sitting here in the shadows . . . how lonely. Others think
that I choose to be this way, choose to be alone, and they're right. Yet
every once in a while I find myself wondering, how could I choose this, how
could anyone? I know I'm cold, I know I push people back. And friends . .
. friends are an impossibility for me, a hardship I'd rather avoid. Even
when someone steps forward, practically handing me an invitation to be part
of his group, to belong, I've practically spit in his face. He's long
since stopped trying.
Poor Yugi, doesn't understand why I push him away, and I dearly hope that he never has to. He still believes that there's a place for goodness and kindness in this world. He believes that if you're a caring enough person then nothing bad can happen to you.
I know better.
I push my thoughts away and look back to the large stack of papers surrounding me. What had made me think of these things now anyway? I've only ten more minutes left of lunch and I have to finish a pile of work before the big meeting right after school today. Yet even as I try once more to read the lines, to eliminate the ridiculous proposals of my employees and sign my agreement to the sensible ones I find my eyes beginning to drift back to the chatting group of friends across the courtyard.
Yugi Moto, Joey Wheeler, Tea Gardener . . . why would I even want to be part of their group? They seem completely immature and ridiculous and stupid and . . .
Yeah, right, keep trying to convince yourself Kaiba.
I mentally glare at the weak voice in my head, the one I've long tried to bury, the one that pleas for companionship I know won't last in the long run.
Being cold might not be fun, but it's safer in the end. Everything might start out all right. You have the perfect life, think that it'll last forever, and then your whole world falls apart. Your parents abandon you and your six year old brother, you get sent to a cheap orphanage where all you are is a show dog to parade before a bunch of would be parents until they realize that you're too old, or not cute enough . . .
Why in the world am I thinking about this? If I've learned anything useful in my life it's that you can't open up. Since the day my parents left I knew it. Then Gozuburo adopted me and Mokuba, not of his own free will of course, and took every opportunity possible to make sure we knew that. Took every opportunity to beat the knowledge into me when his business deals weren't going well. I know not to try and open up. No one really cares after all. No one wants to hold on forever. Eventually they just leave. And all you are left with is heartache.
Yugi glances over, and his warm violet eyes meet my cold ones for a brief second. He offers me a weak smile, and I glare back and return to my paperwork.
Yugi might think that the world is fair, that the good guys always get a happily ever after, that evil men who beat their children get locked up in prison and the child will inevitably get a loving home instead. Yugi might think things are that simple, but I've seen what the world's actually like. It's cold and hard, and if you don't harden up you'll be beaten down in a heartbeat. If you let people in you only end up getting your heart ripped out. For him and his happy friends, the world is a great adventure.
But not for me.
I know better.
*~*~*~*~*~*
That's all
*~*~*~*~*~*
ok I'll admit that wasn't that great, but I just felt like writing something so I hope you liked and you review!!
Poor Yugi, doesn't understand why I push him away, and I dearly hope that he never has to. He still believes that there's a place for goodness and kindness in this world. He believes that if you're a caring enough person then nothing bad can happen to you.
I know better.
I push my thoughts away and look back to the large stack of papers surrounding me. What had made me think of these things now anyway? I've only ten more minutes left of lunch and I have to finish a pile of work before the big meeting right after school today. Yet even as I try once more to read the lines, to eliminate the ridiculous proposals of my employees and sign my agreement to the sensible ones I find my eyes beginning to drift back to the chatting group of friends across the courtyard.
Yugi Moto, Joey Wheeler, Tea Gardener . . . why would I even want to be part of their group? They seem completely immature and ridiculous and stupid and . . .
Yeah, right, keep trying to convince yourself Kaiba.
I mentally glare at the weak voice in my head, the one I've long tried to bury, the one that pleas for companionship I know won't last in the long run.
Being cold might not be fun, but it's safer in the end. Everything might start out all right. You have the perfect life, think that it'll last forever, and then your whole world falls apart. Your parents abandon you and your six year old brother, you get sent to a cheap orphanage where all you are is a show dog to parade before a bunch of would be parents until they realize that you're too old, or not cute enough . . .
Why in the world am I thinking about this? If I've learned anything useful in my life it's that you can't open up. Since the day my parents left I knew it. Then Gozuburo adopted me and Mokuba, not of his own free will of course, and took every opportunity possible to make sure we knew that. Took every opportunity to beat the knowledge into me when his business deals weren't going well. I know not to try and open up. No one really cares after all. No one wants to hold on forever. Eventually they just leave. And all you are left with is heartache.
Yugi glances over, and his warm violet eyes meet my cold ones for a brief second. He offers me a weak smile, and I glare back and return to my paperwork.
Yugi might think that the world is fair, that the good guys always get a happily ever after, that evil men who beat their children get locked up in prison and the child will inevitably get a loving home instead. Yugi might think things are that simple, but I've seen what the world's actually like. It's cold and hard, and if you don't harden up you'll be beaten down in a heartbeat. If you let people in you only end up getting your heart ripped out. For him and his happy friends, the world is a great adventure.
But not for me.
I know better.
*~*~*~*~*~*
That's all
*~*~*~*~*~*
ok I'll admit that wasn't that great, but I just felt like writing something so I hope you liked and you review!!
