A/N: So, um, I just thought I'd put this up. Its been playing around in my head forever. I just thought you guys might like it. :)
Summary: My heart beats faster. I lick my lips again. I suddenly don't want to hold his hand now. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I'm leaning towards him. And then I'm kissing him. It feels wonderful.
Enjoy!
R U N A W A Y
Today is our one month anniversary. Mine and Naruto's, I mean. We've been going out since Valentine's day. Romantic, I know. I'm that kind of guy. I gave him chocolate and everything. He panicked, of course. Typical Naruto. He ran away as soon as I approached him and asked him to be my valentine. Okay, yes, I know, melodramatic. Let me fill you in on just exactly why he ran away.
Naruto has liked me since the start of his freshman year, my sophomore year. He's a junior and I'm a senior now. I didn't know about his little crush since the start of last semester, December 11th, and, to be honest, I didn't really have a clue about his crush on me. Honest to God, I didn't. We've been friends since last year when we both got on the tennis team. It should have been obvious to me when he always volunteered to be my partner. No one wanted to be my partner mostly because I was unbeatable. He didn't even care that he lost to me. He always blushed when I tried to correct the way he was supposed to handle his racket. But I never took note of it. I always thought he was just tired from all the running back and forth from trying to hit the ball all under the scorching sun. Of course, though, he mustered enough courage to tell someone on the tennis team about his little crush on me. He was never the type to flaunt about anyone he liked. Sure, he was exuberant and hyperactive in his own bubbly way, though he was also very reserved about his personal life. But even I knew never to tell Sakura Haruno secrets. She was the blabbermouth of the team. Her and Ino. They were the ones useful enough to keep us updated on other tennis teams and their ways - tricky and evil, I know - but that's why Sakura and Ino were never in on anyone's secrets.
So the next day, they both came up to me and said they needed to tell me something. I didn't pay attention to them. I was busy at the time. They didn't understand. Didn't even care. They practically dragged me away from whatever it was that I was doing and told me exactly what Naruto's deal was. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was speechless beyond words. I didn't even know how to take this. I mean, I've dealt with people liking me before, but never my own friend. A guy. I understood some guys made me the very fantasy of their wet dreams, not meaning to sound conceited at all, but it's true. Though I never would have expected Naruto to like me. I didn't even look at him that way. I never even thought of him like that once. I didn't even like boys.
Then how could it be our one month anniversary if I didn't even like boys in the first place, you seem to be asking yourself? Well, I'm getting to that.
Over the next few weeks and over the winter break, I started to think of him a lot. Differently. I thought about the way his face lit up whenever I walked into tennis practice. Or the way his blue eyes seemed to bring a whole room out of darkness and into the light without even trying. And the way he spoke so passionately about everything in life had me thinking about him a lot more than usual.
I called him a few times over the break. We talked. He laughed. I liked his laugh. I wanted to hear him laugh more. I said stupid things. Screw my dignity. He laughed some more. It was comforting being around with him and talking. I felt as though we were a couple already. And we didn't even have anything going on. I was starting to like him. A lot. A lot more than I could ever bring myself to like someone. I almost told him one day. But I didn't want to burden him anymore with the feelings I was starting to acknowledge for him. Naruto didn't even know I knew that he liked me. He didn't find out about that until we came back to school. On the first day we came back, he was pummeled with the news. Unbelievable rumors started spreading about us. Lies about what we did in our free time under the bleachers. All lies. He was traumatized by this. Everyone told him I knew that he liked me. He avoided me like I was the plague. I sought after him all the time, but he never looked at me. He never talked to me. Didn't want to. He never laughed at me. Or with me. I tried to get him to laugh. To talk to me. No use. He couldn't even look me in the eyes anymore without his eyes filling to the brim with tears. This was affecting him terribly. I could see this. But, still, I told him I thought it was nice he liked me. I wanted to tell him so bad I liked him too. It just wasn't the right time.
He didn't want to be my partner anymore. He switched with some other guy. He wanted to be as far away from me as possible. People got angry with me. I didn't understand why. I didn't do anything. However, I wasn't about to let what people said about me affect me. Naruto needed some space. I was going to give it to him. Some people even stopped talking to me because of this. I wanted to explain. I really did. But this was mine and Naruto's deal. Nobody had to know what the hell was going on between us. Why we stopped talking.
A month passed by. Naruto still wasn't talking to me. And, hell, I'd had enough of it. I was a big fan of romance, so I was going to show Naruto just how much of a romantic I was when it came to him. When it came to the way I felt about him. So, right before Valentine's day, I went shopping for him. I bought him a big box of dark chocolate, the kind of chocolate he liked, and a bouquet of flowers. He would never admit it aloud - only to me, of course - but he loved roses. Pure white roses. I bought him a dozen. And I wrote him a letter confessing everything I felt for him. I poured my whole soul into the letter. Letters, actually. Two pages. Front AND back. I was going overboard, I know, but what else was I supposed to do? I wasn't going to force him to talk to me. I might as well do it the only way I knew how to do it. The way he hated. I'd always loved attention. Especially when it was focused on Naruto. He blushed a lot when he was put on the spot. It was cute.
So, when I came up to him the next day, Valentine's day, during his lunch hour - the lunch that wasn't mine - he saw me and panicked. He almost got up and bolted the cafeteria. His friends kept him in place, though. I thanked them. If I was anything, I was a gentleman. My mother taught me well, thank you very much. They were so touched by the thought of me and my way. They wanted to see what would happen next. What I would do. What Naruto would do. I handed him the chocolate and roses. He was blushing so much. I opened the letter I had written for him and started to read from it. And, as soon as the first words of my confession reached his ears, he ran away. As I said, melodramatic, but he wasn't starved for attention like I was. If anything, I didn't even care that everyone was watching. I ran after him like the protagonist always did in movies. I caught up to him. I read him the rest of the letter. There was a part of him that wanted to stay to listen to what I had to say. Another part of him wanted to run away. He was a shy kid. He didn't like to be put on the spot. He never had much experience with that, he told me once. I mentioned this in my letter. He was surprised that I mentioned it. His eyes filled to the brim with tears. He struggled to get away. I made him stay. I made him listen to the rest of my letter. To what I had to say. He was getting emotional. Not with sadness or hurt, but with happiness. He couldn't believe any of this was happening to him. He was smiling. He was laughing. I couldn't believe it. I was hearing him laughing. I made him laugh. This made everything real. I finished reading off the letter. I looked into his teary blue eyes and asked him to be mine. He accepted.
And here we are today. Well, here I am at my house. Alone. Naruto's still not here. We're not going to do anything too special for our one month anniversary. He asked me not to arrange anything. He appreciated the thought of my offering to take him out on a proper date, though.
You know we actually haven't been a date since we became a couple? No, it's true. I've wanted to take him out for a long time, but he always finds some lame excuse not to go. Okay, it's not a lame excuse. It's a reasonable motive. I respect the fact that he doesn't want to be judged because he's with me. He gets enough of it at school. But, still, I mean, isn't that what couples were supposed to do? Other than just hang out with each other mostly all of the time, but go on actual dates? Hey, I wasn't going to force him, though. No big deal. I just want him to be happy. It doesn't matter what I want.
Actually, there's a reason why this one month anniversary is so special. Today's the day I'm going to tell Naruto that I love him. Crazy, I know. A big step, I know. I realize all of this. I went over this in my head for days. I argued with myself. We've only been going out for a month and all. We haven't even kissed on the lips. We haven't made out. We haven't gotten so far as to touching each other. Like holding hands, for example. Nothing! Yeah, I know. He's crazy shy. He's not ready for any of that just yet, he tells me. While blushing, of course. Cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. I'm crazy. I know you're thinking it. But, I mean, I feel so strongly about him. I just need to get it off my chest. He has a right to know. I am a true romantic at heart, so I don't think something like this will be kept hidden for so long. I probably might end up scaring the crap out of him if I blurt it out randomly during one of our conversations. He'd probably run away from me again. Hey, but he's getting better and better at staying around, though. He doesn't bolt all that much anymore. He feels comfortable enough with me now. Still, he's just not all there yet.
Ah, I hear the door knocking. He's here! I'm running to the door. Yes, running. I've waited for him so long that I've practically explained my whole life to you people. I have a right to run, yes, I do. I yank open the door and there he is, backpack over his shoulder - filled with goodies, I'm sure; he has a huge sweet tooth - and movies in his hands. He smiles as soon as he sees me.
"Hi!"
I smile. His bubbly voice always makes me smile.
"Hi…" My voice sounds all dreamy-like, I'm sure. I kiss him on the cheek and let him in. He's already blushing. He's still not used to my affectionate side.
I close the door shut behind me and follow him into my living room. He drops onto the couch, crushing the goodies he's got in his backpack I believe to smithereens. I also believe he doesn't care. He's focusing his attention on the movies at the moment. I sit beside him, careful as to not let our knees touch. He has a phobia about that. Although, today, for some reason, he inches closer to me as I settle in. Could this be the right moment I tell him? Or was it just my imagination playing tricks on me? It probably was. I rest my arm over the back of his head, just to make sure it was. He shifted away from it slightly. Yep, imagination alone. Damn you.
"Okay, so I brought 'The Corpse Bride,' 'Wall-E,' 'The Princess And The Frog,' 'Enchanted,' and, my personal favorite, 'Despicable Me'. Which one should we watch first?" Did I forget to mention that he also has the mental persona as that of a kid? It never fails to amuse me. Adorable.
But, to be honest, I could care less about which movie we watched first. As long as he was happy. Or as long as it distracted me from the fact that he wouldn't be talking during the movie. To distract me from what I wanted to tell him. To distract me from how much I wanted to tell him I loved him. To distract me from how much I wanted to kiss him at the moment. Why couldn't he let himself? Why couldn't he just release all inhibitions? Just this once? For me? For our one month anniversary? Why did he have to be shy, dammit?
"Um, Sasuke…? Helloooooo? Anybody in there?"
Naruto's waving his hand in my face, but it doesn't even faze me. Doesn't even faze me from staring so deeply into his eyes. Into his very soul. He blushes hard. He already knows what I'm thinking. He doesn't forget the fact that it's our one month anniversary. I'm sure its been on his mind all day. Ever since he left school. Actually, probably not even. Maybe since he woke up. Probably ever since we started going steady. Okay, exaggerating, but, hey, it's possible. Even with Naruto. But I'm not going to let my thoughts worry what I thought about doing or saying in this moment - it was the perfect time. This was our day, and I wasn't going to mess it up by making him bolt.
I smile.
"Whatever you want. They're all good." I answer. I'm being completely honest.
He doesn't seem at all convinced about my sudden change of behavior. But he complies, nonetheless. His cheery attitude returns. With a blush still on his face. Man. Dear Fate, why must you taunt me? He pops the movie in the DVD player. I don't remember which movie he puts in. I know he's super excited about it, though. He yanks out the goodies from his backpack and pours them out onto the coffee table. He takes the bag of gummy worms first. Offers me some. I take none. He shrugs. The movie begins. I'm not paying attention. I think he put in 'The Princess And The Frog'; I can't be too sure. Mostly because I'm watching Naruto. I'm watching the way his lips mimic at the exact time the characters speak. Of the way he laughs nervously when he says a line wrong. Of the way his lips close over the gummy worm. Of the way his teeth close over the sweet-tasting candy, biting and sucking. I lick my lips and thank the heavens above that he doesn't notice this.
Mind you, the way he's eating this suggestively phallic sweet would make you wonder if it's got me thinking and imagining him doing such things to me. You're wrong. No. It doesn't. I'm not that kind of guy. I mean, yeah, I'm a guy and all, and, yes, every now and then, I have suggestive dreams about Naruto in that way - I'm not going to lie - but it's all a part of adulthood. Hormones raging. Tempers flaring. Hearts aflutter. But I don't think about it all the time. Not all guys are the same. Some think we are, but all of us are very different. Like me. All I'm thinking of right now is how much I just want to kiss Naruto. I want to hold him and stay frozen in the moment forever that way. I want to take things slow, though. A kiss would probably be asking too much already. I could settle for hand holding right now. I mean, our hands are just inches away from one another.
My fingers are already twitching his way. He's not noticing. He's licking his lips, licking away the remains of the stickiness of the gummy worms. My heart beats faster. I lick my lips again. I suddenly don't want to hold his hand now. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I'm leaning towards him. And then I'm kissing him. It feels wonderful. All the butterflies in my stomach seem to have taken supersonic flight. They're fluttering around like crazy. I feel like throwing up rainbows. Strange. My hands are sweaty. My heart's beating even crazier now. He doesn't push me away. He's not kissing back either, though. I don't know what to do. I can't pull away. His lips are just too much. They're so soft and nothing like I would have expected. The movie's still going on in the background. How long has the movie been going on? The character's funny voices bring me back to reality. I pull away. And I swallow. Naruto looks serious. He's about as red as a tomato too. He brings his fingers to his lips. They're shaking. He's shaking. He swallows. Then he bolts. Somewhere in the house. The restroom's my guess. He's embarrassed. And horrified, I bet.
My heart's leaping in my throat now. I run after him. I knock on the door as gently as possible. But I want to pound on the door. I want to fall on my knees and apologize endlessly to him. I want to tell him I didn't mean to do it. I know he wasn't ready. I couldn't help myself.
"Naruto. Naruto, I'm sorry. I didn't… I wasn't thinking. I just… I'm sorry. Please open the door. I didn't think. I'm sorry." I hear myself saying all this and I sound pathetic. I sound broken. Inside, Naruto's crying, I'm sure.
It sounds like I'm exaggerating, I know, but about a week ago, he was explaining to me what a kiss meant to him. To him, it meant the world. When someone kisses someone, it opens a window. A window to the soul and everything else the person is holding in, keeping a secret from the whole world. To him, a kiss meant the last kiss. A kiss to be shared with the person one was going to spend the rest of their life with. To Naruto, a kiss meant everything to him. I should have remembered all of this before I did it.
I rest my head on the door. I pound lightly on it. I'm losing all hope. He's not going to open. I want to hug him and apologize to him properly. I didn't want to have this barrier between us.
"Naruto, please open the door. I'm sorry I kissed you. I won't do it again if you don't want me to. I love you. I'm sorry." …I said I loved him, didn't I? Crap. My mouth was just oozing stupidity. I slide down the door. Why did I have to kiss him in the first place? Why couldn't I have just paid attention to the movie instead of him? Why did I have be in love with him? Why didn't he just say something? Anything?
For a moment, there's deafening silence. It almost seems as though Naruto's left, but he hasn't. The door suddenly clicks open and reveals a red-faced Naruto. He looks down at me with wide blue eyes. His fingers are still on his lips. He's still shaking. He kneels down beside me.
"What… what did you say?" He asks me quietly. There's a hint of hope in his voice, if I'm not mistaken. Did I say the right thing…? I straighten up. He swallows. His fingers rest upon my face. On my cheek. They feel so nice against my skin. "Repeat what you just said…"
"I love you." I'm afraid of saying it so straightforward as I'm doing so now, but I can't stop it from slipping from my lips so naturally. So easily. The butterflies are fluttering around my stomach all over again. His blue eyes are watering. I don't know if it's safe to say it again. I can't stop myself. "I do. I love you, Naruto. I've wanted to tell you ever since we started dating. But I… it was too soon and I didn't want you to run away like you always did. I didn't want you to get scared. I just… I'm -"
"I love you too." His quiet confession sends me to the moon. I'm dazed for the briefest of moments before he brings his lips to meet mine in such a soft and tender kiss that restarts my heart at the craziest of paces, I'm almost afraid it'll crash out of my chest. He's smiling in the kiss, but then he pulls away quickly. We look at each other. He's blushing again. He bolts once more and locks himself in the restroom yet again.
Ah, well, we'll work on that. For now, I'm happy.
We've got decades to work on his runaway antics.
A/N: Corny, right? It didn't start to make sense to me all that much anymore. I sorta, like, half-assed my way through it, I guess you could say. Lol. But, well, tell me what you think. :D
Review, please! Much would be appreciated! :)
-With much, much adored love, KK247
