ANGEL OF DEATH
By Death88
Shinji was walking home from his school on a bright, sunny Friday afternoon. However, he wasn't walking for long.
"MEIN GOTT! Ich werde Sie töten! (I WILL KILL YOU!)"
After that, Shinji was running from the wrath of one Asuka Langley Sohryu, bent on murder.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LUNCH, SHINJI! IT ALMOST BURNED MY MOUTH OFF!"
A flying kick send him sprawling, and at the mercy of Asuka.
---5 MINUTES LATER---
Thoroughly bruised and battered, Shinji stumbled out of an alleyway, and tripped over the hem of a trench coat. Upon further realizations, it was revealed that it was a fellow teen in the coat. That struck him as odd, but Shinji didn't stop to think about it.
"Gomen nasai."
As Shinji started walking off, the as-yet-unknown teen in the black coat stated, "Am I correct in assuming that you do not enjoy getting beaten up for something you didn't do?"
Shinji turned, and saw the teen pull an empty spice jar marked 'JABANERO PEPPER' out of his trench coat and throw it into a trash can.
"As I was saying, you don't enjoy it when Asuka literally creams you for something that was perpetrated by someone, oh, I don't know, like me, perhaps?"
Shinji said nothing.
"Oh my god, you're pathetic. But then again, that's why I'm here. I'm going to teach you how to be the complete opposite of a spineless wimp."
"Um… who are you?"
"Silly me, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the Angel Of Death."
"The Grim Reaper?"
"No, Angel. As in the things you've been fighting in your big purple robot. There's a difference between the Angel of Death and the Grim Reaper."
Shinji stared on, dumbfounded.
"Look, this is getting nowhere, fast. Get in the car, and we'll go someplace where you'll understand."
"Um… Mr. Death…"
"Does it look like I should be called 'Mr. Death' to you? Just Death, please."
"Okay, er, Death. Where are you taking me, and are you allowed to drive? I mean, you don't look more than fourteen. OH MY GOD, ARE YOU HERE TO KILL ME! ARE YOU GOING TO DESTROY THE CITY!"
"OH MY FREAKIN' GOD, I AM NOT THE GRIM REAPER, NOR DO I HAVE AN AT FIELD, ALRIGHT! GET IN THE CAR!"
After a long and mostly uneventful drive, except for the fact that the car was in the wrong lane half the time, they arrived at their destination.
"Well, here we are."
"This… is the middle of nowhere."
"Exactly. Now shut your mouth, and listen up. I'm the Angel of Death. If I was going to destroy the city, I would have an AT field, I would not be sitting here talking to the top EVA pilot. The difference between the Angel of Death and the Grim Reaper is that the Grim Reaper comes once you're dead, and takes your soul. I just have to make it so you want to die. It's a crappy job, since nobody ever wants to die, at least not in Japan."
"Why were you driving on the wrong side of the road?"
"I'm American, all right? I'm kind of used to it, and besides, my car is a left-hand drive, so it's hard to drive correctly in Japan. Anyway, I'm here to help you. You and I both know that you're tired of Asuka being a bitch to you, and I'm here to make sure she doesn't do that anymore."
"You're not going to kill her, are you!"
"I AM NOT THE GRIM REAPER! I'M HERE TO HELP YOU! Our first lesson is a test of endurance. You get to find your way back to Miss Katsuragi's apartment. Ready, go!"
And with that, Death drove off, leaving a dumbfounded Shinji stranded in the middle of nowhere.
"I didn't know that the Grim Reaper needed to drive around in a car. Or that he was a kid like me. Or that he had such a… dry sense of humor." Shinji noted, as he looked around and saw nothing. Anywhere.
"This sucks."
---- AUTHOR'S NOTES ----
For all those who can't take the hint from my pen name, I am the Angel of Death. No, this is not a crappy Self-Insertion fic where I'm an EVA pilot and I have a 399 sync ratio, and all the girls love me. This is one where I figured it would be the best way to teach Shinji how to grow a backbone, because it's too unrealistic to believe that he would do it by himself.
Plus, I get to insult all the S.I. fics out there. Well, at least the ones in the Evangelion category.
If you want this story continued…
"IT'S ALL UP TO YOU, SO CLICK, TYPE, REVIEW!"™
So, until next time,
Your Friendly Fanfic Author (that's about to get lynched for not updating his other stories)
DEATH88
