It was even later than usual when Togusa got home, well after midnight. His wife was still up, giving the baby his middle-of-the-night bottle. She made to stand up when he came in, but he wearily waved her back down. "You're still dressed. Have you been up all this time?"
"You sounded so upset on the phone." She set the empty bottle on the floor and lay the baby over her shoulder, patting his narrow back. "What happened today?"
"One of my co-workers died...was killed." His throat felt swollen. "Sorry I'm late."
His wife's mouth dropped open. "Oh, baby. No wonder you look so ragged. Sit down. What can I do?"
"Nothing, sweetheart. Thank you." He blinked at his son, now happily sleeping in his wife's arms. "It was...it was just...this morning..."
She said nothing, waiting for him to to speak.
"It was my supervisor, this morning. There was an explosion. They couldn't make a positive identification until tonight. No one really wanted to leave until we...knew for sure."
"Of course not. Isn't your supervisor the big guy, the cyborg?"
"Yeah. The redcoats- I mean the coroner said his braincase was destroyed. There's really no other way to kill a full-body. His luck just ran out." Togusa sat heavily on the couch.
"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know he was your friend." His wife sank down beside him, resting the baby's head against her chest. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?"
"No, nothing." Togusa leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands. His voice was muffled. "It's just..." Suddenly the sob that had been sitting his throat all day broke loose. He cried harshly, silently. His wife shifted their son to her other arm and rested her hand on his back, stroking gently, as if he was one of the children.
He had no idea how long it was before the tears ran out; it must have been a long time before he sat up and wiped his eyes. His shoulders sagged with exhaustion. His chest felt hollowed out, his eyes burned. His wife still sat beside him. When he straightened up she took his arm and tugged him back down, so his head rested on her unoccupied shoulder. The baby was turned toward him. Togusa reached up to touch their son's impossibly soft cheek. "He's so innocent."
She smiled a little. "Yeah."
"It's a shame he's going to have to grow up, you know?"
"Not if he grows up to be a good man like his daddy." His wife ruffled his hair. "Do you think you can sleep?"
Togusa sighed. "Maybe. It's been a really long day." He hesitated. "But do you mind if we stay here a few minutes longer?"
"No, baby." She said softly. Her heart beat in his ear, strong and rhythmic. "I don't mind at all."
