September 1st, on the couch in the living room, 7:32 PM

News Reporter: "It's been two years since Mia Thermopolis found out that she was a princess of the small, European country called Genovia. Her summer abroad was not a typical girl's summer of tanning for Mia. Running a country had her going every minute of every day during the summer. Now, she has returned from her summer, and today, September 7th, is heading to school for her junior year at Albert Einstein High School. Mia will still be studying with her Grandmere, who is currently the Queen of Genovia, and is staying at the Ritz Hotel. This is Andrea Underwood, signing off. Now back to Jim Carlyle for the weather."

WHY?????? This report was suppose to make me look good, so Grandmere said, but this report was the crappiest one I've seen since Lily's first report on Lily Tells It Like It Is. I don't under stand what the big deal is about me. I'm a 5ft 10 in. freak, with feet the size of skis to match. I didn't even realize I was royal until I had entered high school. No one, except the media and paparazzi, even cares that I, someday, will be the Queen of a small country. The person who keeps me happy right now is Rocky, who apparently has a normal brain for his age, although I'm still not sure he is normal. All that I want for him is that he can understand math and English. Then he will be well rounded for college, which will be better off than me. I barely scraped a good geometry grade this past ear. Even worse, I have to take PRE-CALCULUS!!!! I'M GUNNA BE IN ADVANCED MATH!!!!!!! Seriously, was my grade good enough to be placed in accelerated??? It was a C, for god's sake. The only reason I got that was because Michael tutored me throughout the year. I miss Michael. Even though I'm still mad that he lost his virginity with Gershner, I guess it's not entirely his fault. He was being careless and a bit stupid, like all boys under 17 normally are. Michael probably has already hooked up with some pretty geisha girl by now. I hope she enjoys everything he has, like his fresh-smelling neck and his irresistibility. Wow, now I'm starting to cry. I know I shouldn't cry over a man, but he was my first love. Maybe someday I'll get over him. Until then, I am a love-sick giant who needs her friends more than she did before. My tears are getting all over the damn pages. I am really disappointed because Lilly told me that Beauty and the Beast is retiring from Broadway!!! OMG!!!!! That makes me feel so horrible. That was the one play that JP to me to after I got my heart broken by Michael. I guess JP isn't such a tough guy. He's sweet and sensitive, a quality most men weren't born with. He will become a ladies' man when he gets to college. Heehee.

JP is a ladies' man,

He has more money than anyone ever can,

He is sweet, a chocolate treat,

Sweet filling, makes my heart beat.

Lover boy, you'll go far,

You'll shine brighter than an evening star,

He's an opposites attractor,

A perfect factor.

JP is a ladies maaaaaaaaannnnn! Woot!

Things to do before going back to school:

Stop thinking about Michael Moscovitz.

Start writing 3rd Draft of play.

Think of new bedtime song for Rocky.

New cat toy for Fat Louie.

Toilet paper, bottle caps, new binders, notebooks and folders from store.

Tell Tina about that new romantic comedy movie that I saw commercials for on the news.

STOP THIS STUPID LIST-MAKING HABIT I HAVE!! OR I'LL BE DAMNED!!!!!

my life has been reduced to ashes.

my life has been reduced to ashes.

My life has been reduced to ashes.

god I need a life.