Hermione glared at the road in front of her as she stomped down the sidewalk. Behind her, a group of drunkards were stumbling and catcalling after her. It was undignified and she hated it.

"Hey! Young thang!" One of the men called out. "I'd take real good care of you!"

Kissing noises followed and a shiver of disgust ran up her spine. A glance over her shoulder showed Hermione that the group had grown from five to eight, and the new three didn't look like drunkards.

Fuck.

She had another six blocks until she reached her flat, and she lived in a quiet complex where people minded their own business. Unless she went into a store and waited the men out, she didn't think she would get out of whatever they had planned. Shouts sounded from behind her, and another glance revealed that the three new men had chased off the drunkards.

Double fuck.

Hermione picked up the pace, cursing the heels she was required to wear for her job. (She knew it was better to wear uncomfortable shoes than to run on the sidewalk barefoot though.) As she passed under a lamppost, two familiar figures caught her eye.

Remus Lupin and Severus Snape were both retired police officers. They had retired from the force due to injury and now lived together in the flat above hers. The two men were happily together and very rarely caused any noise complaints. (Funnily enough, Hermione had never even met the two men. All the information she had was gathered from laundry room gossip and newspapers.) Hermione took a deep breath and then called out, waving a hand over her head.

"Remus! Severus! I thought I told you you didn't have to wait for me?" Hermione took extra care in making sure her voice was steady as she crossed the street. The two men exchanged a glance and then turned towards her.

"Sorry, do we—" Remus began to speak and Hermione cut him off with a hug.

"The three men behind me have been following me for the past four blocks. I live in the flat underneath you." She hissed out the words before pulling away and turning towards Severus, giving the man a quick kiss on the cheek. "I know you don't know me, but I need you two to pretend to be my boyfriends, at least until they go away."

Hermione knew she was blushing. Both older men were fit from their days of service, and taller than her in her heels. Remus had a scar running through his eyebrow and another on his cheek, whereas Severus had a nose that had obviously been broken multiple times.

"Well... far be it for me to deny a pretty lady an escort." Remus winked at Severus and then went into a bow before taking her arm. "Besides, we didn't know what to cook for dinner."

Severus side-eyed his partner before sighing and taking her other arm. His voice was a low whisper. "May we at least know the name of our damsel?"

"Hermione, Hermione Granger."

The trio continued walking in silence, and when Hermione faked a yawn to look over her shoulder, she smiled upon seeing the three men had disappeared.

"Thank you for helping me." Hermione slowed to a stop, gently tugging her arms free of the two men. "You didn't know me and had no idea what was happening, and yet you still helped."

Remus smiled kindly, "We know when men have horrible thoughts on their minds Miss Granger."

"Is there anything I could do to pay you back?"

Both men eyed her warily before turning to look at each other. Severus raised an eyebrow and Remus huffed back at him.

"Do you know how to cook? Remus almost burnt the microwave the other day and I would hate to have a repeat."

Hermione grinned.

"Of course I do."

WC: 648