Title: Ear Protection

Author: bookdragon01

Characters: Kirk, Spock, McCoy

Rating: K

Genre: Friendship/Humor

Summary: Kirk and McCoy try to convince Spock that there are logical reasons to wear winter caps, no matter how ridiculous they may look


"Come on, Spock, try it on." The Captain held up a sherpa cap decorated with a colorful geometric pattern, an equally colorful pom-pom on top, and matching tassels hanging from the ear flaps.

It was not, to put it mildly, aesthetically pleasing.

Spock straightened, folding his hands behind his back. "I fail to see why I should don such attire."

"Well, for one thing, it'll keep your ears warm," the Doctor drawled.

Spock noted that despite McCoy's repeatedly stated dislike of cold temperatures, he was exhibiting no interest in trying on any of the proffered head gear.

"My ears do not require insulation, Doctor."

"Oh, really? 'Cause you're better fit for a desert environment. Seems to me those big ears are gonna get pretty cold around here."

"On the contrary, Doctor. While deserts experience extreme heat during the day, the temperature drops precipitously after dark." One corner of Spock's mouth twitched minutely upward. "Vulcans are capable of enduring a far greater range of temperatures than humans."

"That may be, Spock," Kirk said. "But you don't get wind chill in a desert. This isn't going to be just damp cold like in San Fransicso."

Spock lifted an eyebrow. "Captain, I am aware of earth's climatic variations."

"Maybe, Spock," Kirk allowed, walking around him in an attitude of examining his ears. "But have you experienced wind chill?"

"Nasty thing, wind chill," McCoy put in, circling in tandem with the Captain. "One hard wind and those delicate points'll be frost bit in no time." The Doctor looked up thoughtfully. "Be a real shame if I had to amputate...although you might look better with round human years."

The Captain stroked his chin thoughtfully. "On the upside, we wouldn't have to keep finding hats to cover those ears on away missions."

Spock turned with parade precision and selected a simple but warm knit cap. As he proceeded to the check-out counter, Spock could not help but wonder at the statistical improbability that they had never gone an away mission in which the human members of the team had been the ones required to hide their ears.


AN: Originally written for the Not-So-Bleak Midwinter drabble-a-thon on LJ. The prompt was a shop full of colorful Sherpa hats

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