This fanfic was written by myself and Obsessed-with-random-theories-about-Harry-Potter during a boring Chorus class. I apologizes in advanced, but the two of us can be, er, random and stupid when we're together.

Disclaimer: the characters are J.K. Rowling's (duh!) and i got the last song from Mugglenet

Mathical the Musical: it's magical, musical math

Narrator: It is a dark rainy, day at day at Hogwarts. Ron and Harry are bored, so…

Harry and Ron come running on to the stage toward Hermione, who is already on stage and sitting on a big, fluffy, pink armchair.

Ron: Hermy-

Hermione: Call me that again and I will shove you into a closet with a horny Snape!

Ron is currently rocking back and forth periodically hitting his head off the wall and screaming, "Get It Out! GET IT OUT !!"

Harry: Whatev…What's Arithmancy like?

Hermione: Well… (bursts into song to the tune of "it's cheese") It's math, it's math, it's mathi- mathi- mathical! It's math, it's math, it's mathi- mathi- mathical! It's mathical and makes me smile. Use it on Malfoy, use it on Snape, hey! Use it on Malfoy, the ugly, ugly Snape!

Harry and Ron stare at Hermione like she declared she was engaged to Dumbledore, but secretly in love with Snape. (Well, actually…)

Ron: Hey! I'm the only one here who can act on stupidity impulses!

Hermione: But, didn't you know? We're in a musical, dumbass! You know, we randomly burst into song for no apparent reason. Look! Harry's about to do it know.

Harry: (sure enough, to the tune of 'I'm a Little Teapot') I'm a little queer boy, short and abused. Here is my wand (winks suggestively) and my BF's amused. Everyone who sees us is confused. Especially when me and Voldy caroused!

Ron: Yeah, what were you doing with You-Know-Whom?

Hermione: Are you that dense! Harry and Voldy are dating!!

Ron: Since when did you call him Voldy?

Harry and Hermione shrug.

Hermione: I guess since Harry started dating him.

Ron: And did when that occur?

Harry: Wow! You know the word 'occur'?

Ron: Yes, I'm not stupid (Harry and Hermione exchange looks) …but I am emo! (pulls out a knife and slits wrists, the sings, in a pathetically sucky voice, to the tune of the chorus of 'Leto') I'm emo! Whoa-o-o-o-oa!

Hermione: You suck! Stop! Now!

Ron starts crying, and Harry throws a shoe at him. Then Dumbledore appears wearing orange robes with an evil pink bunny print.

Dumbledore: (sings to the tune of 'Lundi, Mardi'-wait, no one will recognize that title. Stupid French teacher (kidding, Ms. Santoro. Ha ha! Umm...) who taught us an insufferable song that will never get out of my head. Okay, enough rambling. To the tune of 'The Flinstones' theme song)Evil! I'm so evil! I've killed people in their sleep. I seem like a grandpa and my reputation I will keep. One day, you'll find out my awful truth. That I've manipulated you. 'Cuase I'm a cruel sadist, and I'm evil, and I'm evil, and I'm e-e-evil!

Harry: Yo, dude. You just told me your plan, creep.

Dumbledore: Damn it! No matter… (Dumbledore grabs Harry's wrists and throws him in a cell with…dun, dun, dun, dun! Uncle Vernon!) You're going dark. There's only one way to fix that: Destroy your moral! BHWAHAHAHA!!

Harry starts whimpering as Vernon advances. Vernon then begins (not shown) to rape and beat Harry. Voldemort bursts through the cell door.

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!

Green light shoots toward Vernon, and he dies. Harry immediately jumps into Voldemort's arms.

Harry: My savior! I knew I picked the right queer to date.

Ron and Hermione burst in.

Harry, Voldy, Ron, and Hermy: (to the tune of 'Hakuna Matata') Avada Kedavra. What a horrible phrase. Avada Kedavra.You'll see a big green blaze. Before you realize. That's the end of your days. It's Voldy's moral-free Malignity
Avada Kedavra

Ron: Yeah, take Harry for example. (sings)Before he was at Hogwarts

Harry: (opera style) Before I was at Hogwarts!

Ron: (digging in ear with pained expression on face)Lovely, Harry

Harry: (spoken) Thank you.

Ron: His parents were nice, young Lily and James
A great witch and wizard with a well-known name

Harry: Then Voldemort came- Through our door he burst
And he killed them, with that one atrocious curse
And oh!- the pain!

(Ron: Yes, he was in pain)

Harry: Thought of changing my name!

(Ron: Oh, what's in a name?)

Harry: 'Till I went to Hogwarts

(Ron: Where did you go?)

Harry: It's located in-

Ron: (covering Harry's mouth) Harry! Not in front of the muggles!

Avada Kedavra. What a horrible phrase. Avada Kedavra.You'll see a big green blaze. Before you realize. That's the end of your days. It's Voldy's moral-free Malignity
Avada Kedavra

The End

Thanks for reading! I hope you review!!