This is my first story on fanfiction. I don't have a beta at the moment but I am looking for one, so if you see any mistakes just let me know.
I'll try to reply to all my reviews.
I have muddled the timeline a bit with this story and have changed when some things happen to fit around my story. This starts around chapter 10 of New Moon after Bella talks to Billy on the phone but instead of going out to the meadow that day, she stays at home cleaning and finds the loose floorboards. This story starts that night when she is in bed thinking over things.
This chapter is in Bella's POV with all her thoughts but I'll use different point of views for different chapters.
I have three chapters finished but I just need to check them over and I'll upload them once I know that people like this story.
I shall take out any lemons that happen and if you would like to read them, just let me know and I'll send them to you.
I'll be using songs in some of my chapters to help with the mood and they will be in italics so they stand out. I'll put the name of the song and the artist in the authors note at the bottom of the page.
Hope you enjoy!
I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters.
Chapter one – The Decision
Bella's POV
Here I am all alone again. First Edward left and took his family with him. Now Jake was ignoring my calls. I wasn't good enough for either of them as a girlfriend or a friend.
How on earth did I get here? Looking back at my life in Forks since I moved here to be with my dad, I didn't like much of what I had done. What happened to the old Bella? The Bella from Phoenix? I have never been cool or popular but I used to stick up for myself and fight for the things that I believed in. I had changed nearly everything about myself. I used to have friends but the only person I can really call a friend here in Forks is Angela. Jessica is Laurens sidekick, Lauren is a snob, Mike needs to get over his crush and Jake is not talking to me.
Here's the thing we started out friends.
It was cool but it was all pretend.
Yeah yeah
Since U Been Gone
People were only interested in me when I first moved to Forks as I was like a new shiny toy, especially to the boys. I remember my first few days at Forks High School. I met Eric, Tyler and Mike, had them all chasing me around and flirting. Then I met Angela, Jessica and Lauren. Angela and her boyfriend Ben were lovely and friendly. Lauren didn't like me because I took the boys attention away from her. Jessica was nice when Lauren wasn't around but as soon as Lauren was around, she changed and became Laurens sidekick. I didn't really know anyone else at school.
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since U Been Gone
Then I was interesting to the school because Edward was interested in me. Before I arrived, the Cullens had shown no interest in any of the other students and despite Edward being single he had never even looked at any of the girls, as Jessica liked to point out. She always asked why the Cullens picked me to single out and I could never answer her.
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
So I must of been special to get the Cullens interest, especially the mega handsome Edward. I changed so much for them. I even went to the prom with Edward in an outfit that Alice had picked of course. I am a bit klutz and normally stay well away from any form of dancing but they convinced me to go to the prom.
But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get What I want
Since U Been Gone
Then they left and I became a zombie. Hurt my dad so much that he was going to send me to my mum's in Jacksonville because he just didn't know what to do with me. I feel so guilty for the worry and hurt that I caused my dad. I sometimes wish that I could explain to him about the Cullens being vampires so that he could understand why I reacted so badly but that would put him in danger for knowing and he would probably ground me for life, for dating a vampire. I realise now that the Cullens must of used some vampire power and put me under a spell, otherwise I would of never have let them take over my life so much and dampen my spirit. I became a really annoying 'yes' person that only did things that Edward or the other Cullens would appove of and I never wanted to do anything that they would disapprove of. I changed my clothes, my music, my likes and dislikes, pretty much everything about me.
How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah
Since U Been Gone
Instead of coming to live with my dad and getting to know the people that I remember growing up with like Jake and the Clearwaters, I didn't even really try to get to know them and became obsessed with the Cullens. I remember making mud pies with Jake and his sisters when I was little. So much of my past when I lived here and then later would visit Charlie, has Jake in it. There are a few memories with the Clearwaters in it like our dads taking me, Jake and Leah fishing with them. Seth was just a baby and the Black twins were too girly and never interested in going fishing with us, so they would stay behind.
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
I do miss Jake but he has obviously made his decision to not be friends anymore. I'll try one last time to get him to talk to me but it can wait a few days as I have a few other plans to do first. I need to get back to being the real Isabella. The Isabella that I used to be before the Cullens came along and changed me.
But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get (I get)
what I want
Since U Been Gone
I haven't seen or spoken to Jake since we went to the cinema with Mike. That was funny. Mike being sick when the movie was so fake and rather stupid. Maybe it was best that Jake wasn't talking to me as he obviously was hoping for our friendship to turn into more but I only saw him as my little brother. I don't think I could ever love him as more than a best friend, no matter how much I would like to as I know everything would just be comfortable and easy with Jake but I didn't want comfortable and easy. I wanted someone who would love me for me and not want me to change but someone who would push me and argue with me. Jake never argues with me, he is so laidback and carefree that it just wouldn't work. He also deserves someone who isn't broken and won't just use him like I have.
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
I rang Jake's house earlier and his dad Billy answered but that still didn't go very well. He said that Jake had gone out with his friends to Port Angeles for the day. Jake was better but hadn't called me to tell me himself, instead he went out with his friends while I was home, missing him and worried about him. I had left him messages and he hadn't replied to any of them. He had obviously decided that he wasn't going to waste his time on me and that he didn't even want to be friends anymore. He could of at least called me to tell me that he was better and that it was just a virus and not mono like they thought it was, but he hadn't.
The Cullens left months ago and I'm fed up of moping around. I don't want to hear his voice in my head anymore. They left and are not coming back. Time to get over it. I obviously didn't mean that much to them if they could just up and go without even a goodbye. I was just pet toy to them. Something to amuse themselves with to pass time.
Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Time to move on for good and for that I need to get to the meadow. Earlier today I had tripped over in my room and found a lose floorboard that I've never noticed before. It seems that Edward didn't steal my things to make me forget him, he had just hid them under the loose floorboard in my room. That's crueler then actually stealing them. I'm planning on burning them but I want to do that at the meadow to say goodbye once and for all. Then I can move on for good. I was planning on going to the meadow with Jake but I guess that I'll have to go alone.
I have the compass and map in my truck ready to go tomorrow. As soon as I've said goodbye and burned all the things he left me then I can start to bring the old Bella back. I've got money saved up and I know I need new clothes as the clothes that Alice brought me are so not me. She wanted to change me so I would fit with their family more but that isn't me. You shouldn't have to change yourself to make people happy, they should be happy with you the way you are.
My to do list includes:
First going to the meadow and burning the stuff that will remind me of Edward and the other Cullens. Say goodbye to that part of my life for good.
Taking the clothes that Alice brought me to a charity shop.
Buying new clothes in my own style.
Haircut and maybe some colour.
As much as I love my truck, I need something else so car shopping.
Trying one last time to talk to Jake.
Try making friends with Leah Clearwater.
Meet new people.
Collage applications or online courses.
New job away from Mike.
Stay away from the supernatural.
I'm going to show everyone the real Isabella Marie Swan and they won't know what hit them. This will be fun and I so can't wait to start tomorrow with my plans but for now I need to sleep.
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get, I get what I want
Since U Been Gone
My fun will start tomorrow.
Since U Been Gone
My fresh start will start tomorrow.
Since U Been Gone
Well there was my first chapter so review and tell me what you thought.
The song was 'Since You Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson'. It fit perfectly.
Sorry for it being short. The next chapter will be longer as this was just an introduction.
