"She's beautiful," River murmurs, and the infant in her arms wriggles.
"'Course she is," the Doctor says. The baby grips his finger tightly, refusing to let go. "She's ours."
"So, where are we off to now?" Clara asks, but is interrupted by a yawn.
The Doctor grins. "You need to sleep. Off you pop, to bed."
"You sound like my dad," she laughs.
His smile falters.
"No, no, I'll be fine," she tries to argue, but once again is betrayed by a yawn.
"It's fine," he smiles, "go."
She stomps up the stairs, and looks back at him over her shoulder. "What do you do while I sleep?"
"Oh, nothing important. Just…stuff." He smiles, not looking at her. "To bed!"
She huffs, and stomps off toward the bedrooms.
As soon as he hears the doors hiss shut behind her, he starts fiddling with the controls of the TARDIS.
There's a reverberating hollow sound as they land. He slides over to the doors, and double-checks himself. Jacket, good. Suspenders, good. Bow tie, cool.
And he shimmies out the door.
Clara watches all of this, having snuck out while the TARDIS was landing.
"Where is he going?" she asks herself, and takes a few tentative steps toward the stairs.
But the doors swing open again and she launches herself backwards, pressing her back against the metal doors behind her.
"Oh, River, you never cease to amaze me."
"I can do a lot more than that, sweetie."
Clara cannot see, but she can hear the flirting in both voices. It's silent for a moment, and she briefly considers peeking.
But the doors behind her hiss open and she falls back, into the open passage.
She catches herself clumsily before her head can hit the floor, and the doors hiss closed.
"Damn," she mutters.
"Did you hear something?" River asks, pulling back from the kiss.
"Nope! No, I didn't. Why, what did you hear?"
She looks at him questioningly. "Do you have someone on board?"
"No," he lies.
"Is it my parents?" she asks.
His face falls. "No," he whispers.
"Oh," she says. "Then who is it?"
"No one," he says, backing away from her,
"You're a wretched liar, Doctor." She lets him pull away. "Is it her?"
He doesn't answer.
"Well, I suppose our daughter has got me beat as 'child of the TARDIS'," River laughs, tiredly.
The Doctor smiles, confused.
"She was conceived and born in the vortex. She's sure to be brilliant!"
"We wouldn't expect any less, would we?"
River looks down at the sleeping child, and runs a finger over her soft baby cheek. The Doctor steps closer, and River holds her out to him.
He takes her, and once he's got her settled in his arms, he kisses his wife.
Parts of him want to laugh, to cry, to run, and to never leave. Part of him wants to live in this moment forever, and another part thinks he doesn't deserve this, not even a little.
"Does this mean you're staying?" he asks softly, unsure of what the answer will be, or even what he wants it to be.
She smiles, and her smile makes his hearts swell. "Why not?" she says lightly.
Clara eventually gave up and went to sleep. When she woke, the TARDIS doors miraculously let her out into the control room.
"'Morning," she says.
He's deep in thought, she notices, but after a moment's hesitation he forces on a smile and says, "Is it, now?"
"Where are we?"
He doesn't respond, not right away.
"Doctor?"
"Oh," he sighs, "we're in London. Just outside your house."
"Why?"
He stands, fingers nervously fiddling with something in the panel but not actually doing anything. "I, uh…I have something I need to do."
"Okay," she says.
"On my own," he continues.
"Why?"
He closes his eyes.
"Does this have to do with the woman you had in here last night?"
He looks up, mildly surprised. Not that she knew, but that she brought it up. He smiles sadly. "Yes."
"Who is she?"
"Someone who needs me."
"And why can't I go with?"
"Because she can't know who you are yet."
"And who am I?" she asks, hands on her hips.
His eyes light up, and she knows he's thinking of her when he says, "Spoilers."
"Who is this mystery girl you won't let me meet?" River asks. He's just picked her up from Stormcage.
He grimaces.
River smirks. "Is she pretty?"
He drops his head into his hands.
Frustrated, she shouts, "Doctor, please, tell me what's going on!"
"You're pregnant," he whispers.
River freezes. "Oh," she breathes. Her hand rests on her flat abdomen. "Oh," she repeats, a realization.
"Sorry," he mutters.
"For getting me pregnant or telling me?"
He smiles. "A little bit of both."
"What does that have to do with her?" River asks, pointing at the doors that always keep the girl a secret.
"Spoilers," he murmurs, and she sighs.
"Why is this bothering you so much?" she asks. "I can see it in your eyes, sweetie, you're going through something. Let me help," she pleads, falling to her knees in front of him in his chair.
"What if I told you that what happened to you, to your mother, something…similar could happen to you now?"
River backs away from him, fear in her eyes. "I won't let it," she insists, hands splayed across her stomach protectively. "But we stopped the Silence," she adds. "And to them, you're dead, right?"
"Yes, but the battle's not over, not by a long shot."
"How?"
His voice cracks as he says, "Trenzalore."
River's eyes widen. "No," she says. "You can't."
"I have to," he whispers.
"So it is her," River murmurs.
He still doesn't respond.
"Why can't I meet her?" she pleads. "She's mine, too."
"I know," he whispers. "I know. You will," he says, taking her hands in his, "I promise. Just not here, not now."
River looks angry and sad, but she nods. She squeezes his hands and gives him a kiss. "I'd better go, then," she sighs.
"You don't have to," he says softly. "Not right away."
She smiles, but the pain doesn't fade from her eyes. "Okay," she whispers.
"What should we call her?" River asks, looking down at their miracle in his arms.
"I don't know," he says.
"Something pretty," River murmurs, "and classic. God knows she'll need something that doesn't sound totally horrendous in ninety percent of time."
He laughs. "Pretty and classic, okay."
"How about Clara?"
He looks up, and smiles. "It's perfect."
She looks back down at their daughter, "Clara Amelia Song," she murmurs.
"Who says she gets your last name, then?" he teases.
"I'd rather my daughter had a name she's allowed to know, wouldn't you?"
He tilts his head and mutters agreement.
"Clara?" he calls, just as she's about to disappear out the doors.
"Yeah?" she leans back in, only visible from the shoulders up, her hair falling below her.
"I'll be back soon," he tells her.
She smiles. "You'd better," she says, and then she's gone.
"I remember now," she says, staring into the light.
He looks up at her from where he's fallen to the floor. "No," he chokes out.
"I do," she insists, smiling. "I've done this before. Many, many times. And each time I do the same thing, I save you." She looks down at him. "But each time is a little different, isn't it?"
He coughs, reaches for her. "Clara."
"Clara, pretty and classic," River says, and Clara looks at her.
She can feel the tears welling in her eyes. "Clara…Amelia…Song," she says. "I remember."
"Hello, sweetheart," River smiles.
"I'm your daughter," she whispers, "but I'm not."
"Yes," River says.
"Well, which one is it?"
"Both, I'm afraid."
Clara gives her a questioning look.
"The first time, you were completely ours, and we raised you, the three of us traveling in the TARDIS."
"The first time…?"
"The second time, you were taken," River says. "But he found you in the end."
"He always does," Clara whispers.
"I always will," he whispers, a hand on her cheek.
River takes several steps towards them, the light behind her making her seem ethereal and less real. "The third time, and every time since, you've been forgotten." River's smile is gone now, she falls to her knees on the other side of the Doctor, and she places a hand on Clara's other cheek. "But we always find our way here, one way or another, and you always make the same choice."
"Because it's what I was born for," she murmurs, a tear falling onto her mother's hand.
"How come the others never see me?" she whispers.
"Because they aren't really me, your father, at least not yet," he tells her.
"Your secret," she says quietly, "he'll see me. He always sees me, I think."
"I know," he says.
"I was born to save you," she says, half-way unconscious, "and I'll always save you. Even him."
"Yes," he murmurs, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, "you will."
He glares into the rough, older eyes in front of him. "I guess I'll be seeing you very soon," he growls.
"You will," the voice says. It sounds like gravel. "You will."
"Will she be safe?" River asks, her daughter's hand in hers, staring into the beautiful but ominous light.
"I'll be fine, Mum. I know what I'm doing."
"Yes, she will be safe. But I don't know that she'll be…with us," he finishes.
"I'll find you," Clara declares. "I have to."
"The TARDIS will wipe our memories, we won't remember her," he confesses.
"I don't want that," River says. "She's ours. We got to keep her last time, why can't we do it again?!"
"Because she'll die," he says. "Then I'll die. And then you'll have never existed, which is almost like dying."
"Have we had this conversation before?" she sobs.
"No," he says. "This is only our second time with her. But we'll have it again, and again, and again…"
"She'll look different, won't she? Born to human parents?"
"Yes, but we'll know it's her," he tells her, unsure of it himself.
"We'll have to," River says, looking into the light where her daughter vanished.
"How do you know all of this?" Clara asks River. "If you've forgotten me, how do you know all of this? And how can I?"
"Well, sweetheart, I'm dead. Uploaded to a computer. It was the only way he could save me."
River takes the Doctor's hand, and squeezes.
"And because the TARDIS restores all our memories at the last possible second, so that we can be together, right at the end."
"The TARDIS wipes our memories? Why?"
"To save you, Clara."
"The TARDIS knows and lives in all possible futures. These are all happening simultaneously for her," he says.
"Is that why it keeps me from seeing her? Because I'm not supposed to remember?"
"Well, I'm not either, but I see her. It's like… the TARDIS thinks you can't keep a secret."
"I can keep secrets!"
"Not this one," he sighs. "This one is too big, too powerful, even for you."
"Why?"
"Because it's also my biggest secret. She ties in to the biggest secret of them all, River, and the TARDIS can't separate them in my head, not always. But you, you don't know all of it, so she takes what she can and keeps you apart to keep you from changing the future."
"And what future would that be?" she asks.
"Trenzalore," he tells her again.
"Doctor?" she asks from the swing beside him.
"Yes?" he asks with a smile.
"Where's Mum?"
His smile falls. "She's gone, sweetheart, I'm sorry."
"But we'll see her again, won't we?"
He looks over at Clara, his daughter, all grown up, beside him again after all this time. "'Course we will," he whispers. "She's never very far away."
"But I was born to human parents," she says.
"You were," the Doctor says, "but your heart," his hand over where hers beats in her chest, "and your soul are still our Clara."
"Both the Doctor and I know better than to let your DNA define you," River says with a smile, "regeneration kind of defeats the purpose of a physical identity."
"They are still your parents," he says, "because you have their genes and they raised you."
"But you are just as much ours," River adds.
Clara stands, looking into the light. "I guess I don't have a choice, then, do I?" she asks.
"You do," the Doctor says.
"But I beg you make the right one," River tells her.
"You don't have to do this," the Doctor tells her.
"But if I don't, you'll die. I'll die. She'll die. We'll all die."
"Clara, it's—"
"Shut up, Dad," she says, finding the word too comfortable on her tongue, too right.
And she steps toward the light.
"Clara," River says. "I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too, Mum. I do. Both of you, I can feel it. I remember…"
She's inches away, and she turns back to the Doctor.
"I've told you this before, I'm sure," Clara says. "But I'll say it again, the right way."
She smiles.
"Run, you clever boy, and remember me."
Fin.
A/N: Now, I realize this is immensely confusing, and that's because that's how I intended it. For the most part, this is the story in the order I wrote it. On this same story (as another chapter) I will be posting this in chronological order. As in, their first time with Clara, their second, etc, and then in the correct order within each section. All the writing WILL BE THE SAME, but I am considering a follow-up piece.
Please review. If you read both, maybe just for funsies tell me which organization you prefer. ( 'First' and 'second' are acceptable answers, if you would like.)
