Mine to take.
When I was ten I almost died. I fell from a seventh floor balcony and was caught half way down by an angel. My angel, Castiel. No I'm not crazy…angels are real I am living proof of that. I didn't know it then but Cas has been my guardian since I was born. He has watched over me my whole life. After saving me Cas would show up randomly but now he would become visible and actually visit me. At ten I thought this was great, I had an angel to play with and play we did. I look back on it now and wonder how Cas put up with me dressing him up and having him play childish games. As I grew we stopped playing games and began to talk. By the time I noticed how gorgeous my angel is I was fourteen. I developed a crush on Castiel and who wouldn't…those vibrant blue eyes, that thick black hair and that voice. Cas's voice always sends little shivers through me. Two years I was obsessed with my angel, I didn't even look at guys my age. Yeah I know…I'm evil, for wanting to deflower an angel. You try controlling teen age hormones !
I knew deep down that I had no chance, not with an angel. Yet I couldn't get him out of my head. An angel would never look at a human that way but I could dream. I could fantasise. Believe me I did both, I would dream of Cas at night and think of him during the day. Was it lust ? Maybe it was to start with but by the time I met Dean I was in love with Cas. But Castiel is an angel therefore I can never have him so I had to force myself to move on.
I like all my charges yet there is one in particular that I spend a lot of time watching. I saved her from dieing when she was ten. We are not supposed to reveal our selves to those in our care but I made an exception for Katt. She is special to me, always has been. I have watched her all her life…protecting her when she needed it. She is so kind and warm hearted, we have long talks and if any human can say that they know an angel it is Katt. I can not help but tell her things I probably shouldn't. I think I maybe in love with my human. I can not go a day without seeing her and I have found that the older she gets the deeper these feeling grow. Will I fall because of this girl ? Gladly !
She is almost sixteen now, should I tell her how I feel, should I simply show her how I feel? Yes I like that idea, I will hold her in my arms and kiss her tenderly. She will know I love her then.
"Hey there, beautiful" said Dean with a grin.
Blushing fiercely I smile and say "Hello Dean. Please stop calling me that…it's embarrassing"
His grin gets bigger "Yeah but it's true. You're the most beautiful chick at this school" he replies as he puts his arm around my shoulder. Outside I'm blushing but inside I'm grinning like an idiot. The hottest guy in our school thinks I'm beautiful what more could a girl want ? An angel to think that too. I scold myself for thinking it, Dean wants me, Cas doesn't and thinking about the angel I can't have isn't fair to Dean. I force a smile and say "So what are we doing this weekend?"
"Your olds are going away aren't they?" he asks with a cheeky grin.
"Don't even think it Dean" I chide.
"Too late babe" he laughs.
I shake my head in exasperation and smile at him.
"What am I gonna do with you Dean Winchester?" I ask already knowing the answer.
"Anything you like babe, I'm your walking, talking sex toy" he beamed.
I can't help but roll my eyes "You wish" I reply.
"You know I do babe. When ever your ready, I'm good to go" he says.
That made me laugh pretty hard. Dean's turn to roll his eyes and shake his head "What?" he asks.
"When I'm ready huh…your good to go now and we both know it" I say.
He grins and shrugs as if to say what are ya gonna do. We walk home together, our arms around each other. I really am surprised at how comfortable I am with Dean considering we've only been together four months. Oh he flirts none stop but I know if I ever said stop he would. He's not the type to force himself on you. He'll wait for me to be ready for sex, problem is, I'm ready…I just can't get Castiel out of my head. Hell I still masturbate to thoughts of Cas, never Dean. What is wrong with me ? I have an awesome boyfriend yet I won't touch him cause I want an angel, how messed up am I ?
I do not like this boy with my human. He wants to do impure things with her. He wants her the way I want her. No, my love is pure…isn't it ? I watch them walk home, he flirts with her the whole way. I want to hurt him, he's touching my human. His arm around her should be mine. Is this jealousy ? I will ask Gabe.
That night I lay in bed thinking about what I should do but my thoughts drift to Cas and my hand drifts down between my legs. I imagine Cas touching me, gently stroking and rubbing my clit. I moan his name as I pleasure myself lost in the fantasy.
A strange sensation runs through Castiel and suddenly he finds himself in Katt's room late at night. He's about to ask what she wanted him for when he hears her moan softly. Cas blushes when he realises what Katt is doing. She is giving herself pleasure. He is about to pop out when he hears his name being moaned. Cas's eyes go wide at the sound then it clicks…his human is fantasising about him while she touches herself. A wide grin graces Castiel's face as he realises she does want him. He is so happy he can hardly wait to tell his brother Gabe. Castiel remains invisible while he watches Katt, a stupid grin on his face the whole time. One thought runs in a loop in his mind 'She wants me too'.
I was sitting on the low brick wall of our front garden waiting for Dean and thinking about last night. When a thought occurred to me…angels see everything. I must have went white as a sheet when I realised it. Oh god had Cas seen what I was doing last night, had he heard his name too. I wanted to die with shame. Oh please don't let it be so…I could never look Cas in the eyes again. Dean's voice calling my name saved me from these thoughts. "Hi Dean' I called as he got closer.
"There's my beautiful girl' he replied.
I blush and look down at the pavement. Dean raises my face with two fingers under my chin, leaning in for a kiss as he does. I love kissing Dean, it feels so good. He always tastes like mint. I know what I have to do to get that angel out of my head, I have to give myself to Dean completely. When we come up for air my decision is made. I take a deep breath and look into Dean's amazing green eyes. "Dean, I was thinking about what you said" I manage to say even though I'm nervous as hell. "Hmm, what did I say?" he asked as he nuzzled my neck.
"You know…about my parents being away and all" I trail off.
It takes him all of half a second to get what mean and he grins "Are you sure babe? I can wait, I've told you that" he says.
"I know. You've been really good about this Dean. I want this, I want you" I say shyly.
"You already have me babe' he replies then kisses me again.
"Gabe" yells Castiel.
"Not so loud little brother you'll wake all of heaven" said Gabe from behind Cas. Cas turns around and Gabe sees the huge grin on his face. "Now what's got you so happy Cas?" he asks.
"She love me back" Cas beams.
"Who?"
"My human…Katt. She love me Gabe" replied Castiel.
"Oh Cas. What have you gone and done? We can't love humans that way" sighed Gabe.
"You did' retorted Cas.
"Yeah and look it where it got me…heart broken" countered Gabe.
Cas sighed but said "It will be different for us, Katt loves me and heaven has no plans for her. We can be together Gabe"
Gabriel sighs heavily knowing that this will end badly and he will have to pick up the pieces of his little brother and put him back together when this human breaks his heart.
