Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything Twilight related, only SMeyer does.

A/N

Hi guys! So this is my first FanFiction, I've had a few ideas in my head for a while but this is the first one I've written down, so I'm not sure how good it will be. (I'm pretty sure every first timer says that, is it compulsory?)

Alright well this is going to be Leah's story, I don't now why I chose to write her story, it just happened. This is also rated M just in case.

I only have the first chapter written so I'm not sure when there will be another update, I just had to publish this now, if I hadn't I might never have done it.

Just as a note, the Cullens probably won't feature in this story.

Well here we go.

Loving Leah.


He's gone, and he's not coming back. It's an unfortunate turn of events. Hah! It's a fuckery that's what it is, bullshit! I cannot hate him no matter how hard I try, because I'll always love him. He doesn't want me anymore, of course, he wants her. I don't even get an explanation for it. I'm not good enough anymore.

~~~*~~~

"Damn it Sam where have you been?! Just tell me, whatever it is I'll be there for you. I don't care what it is, I'll help you. Please."
I'm sobbing, begging. He's distant and I see something in his eyes that's never been there before, I don't know what it is. It scares me a little, and confuses me even more. He's been gone for a few weeks now with no explanation, it's something bad I can just tell.

"Leah, I...I can't, I just can't explain. I know you want to help but it's not something you can help me with. I... I love you, I have to leave."
He's sobbing too, I've never seen him like this.

"No, Sam, please? I need you to stay, if it's me I'll do whatever it takes, please I...I can't lose you. I love you."

"I'm sorry Leah, goodbye."

I watched him run away, with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't force him to stay, I wouldn't. I could only hope he would come back to me soon. I traipsed back towards my house and dragged myself to my bedroom, collapsing on top of the bed. It hurt like hell to watch him walk away. I closed my eyes, succumbing to the darkness. I was afraid he would never be the same, never come back. I needed to sleep, to just forget for a few hours. Of course in my time of want I would not get that, I lay awake for hours. It was impossible to sleep. A little part of me said I was being absurd, that Sam went through something but he'd be back. I was being an over-emotional girl. It was cold it my bed, I saw the sky darken, and eventually slipped into unconsciousness.

I awoke to rain peltering down onto the roof and against my window. I was used to storms, today instead of making me depressed , it comforted me. I hoped it would wash away the bad and bring something better. I reached to my side table and pulled a sketchbook from it and started drawing. I wouldn't go anywhere today unless it was Sam that asked me too. I would wait for him, for as long as it took. I idly sketched, I was fascinated with faces and bodies, everything always ended up eyes, lips and curves.
The rain continued in varying degrees of harshness. I couldn't move from my bed, I wouldn't eat. I saw my family move about the yard occasionally. I was never bothered by them though, they knew I would not tolerate any interference from them. I loved them but sometimes I felt so agitated, so different to my normal self, and I wouldn't be able to deal with advice about Sam.

I waited, through the day and into the night. Did I expect he would come back to me in a day? No, I didn't. So I continued to wait for him. Sleeping only when I was so fatigued I could not stay awake. I ventured from my room only when it was necessary and I barely ate. I knew I should keep living, surely I was being dramatic. But I would wait, and I would find peace. My sleep was restless, it was not the same. Slowly my night turned to day and my day turned to night, sleeping was reversed.

~
Sam,

Where are you? Are you sick, hurt, in trouble? I remember that time I got sick, I was out for days, you were so worried when you didn't hear from me or see me. I laughed at how paranoid you were, is it like that? Just call me and everything will be okay...

Leah

~
Sam,
Where are you? What's happening with you? If it's about the fight we had when you came back I don't care anymore about that. It was silly, just come back and we'll talk it over. I'm missing you so much. I feel stupid, but I haven't left the house since that day, I didn't want to miss you if you came back. I hope you get these letters soon, I want to see your face, look into your eyes again.

Leah

~
Sam
Where are you? I've been waiting so long, too long! Please come back, nothing is the same without you here. I can't sleep, I need to tell you I love you. I'm missing you so badly. I'm falling apart waiting for you to come back. I can't explain how much it hurts without you here, my chest aches, I feel stick to my stomach. I'm so empty without you. Not knowing where you are or what's happening is killing me. If I knew what was going on I could cope, I could give you time if you needed it. I would give you anything and everything I have to offer.
I'm not handling this very well.
I love you always.

Leah.

~*~

I learnt waiting for someone you love is torture. The pain you feel when you know something is wrong but you do not know is equal to physical torture. It truly is, if you've never experienced it I do not wish it on you. My letters were returned, no reply, and unopened.
The night they were returned I ventured from the house for the first time in two weeks. The house was silent, everyone asleep. It was around one am, the rain had persisted through the day and into the night. Within minutes I was soaking, I couldn't feel it though, it was soothing. I wandered towards the forest bordering our house, I breached the forest and lost myself in the semi-darkness. There was a half moon tonight, the light cast eerie shadows across the trees and ground. I wandered aimlessly through the tress, occasionally passing my fingers over the ferns. My eyes adjusted to the light, but were blurry with unshed tears. My body trembled with unheard sobs.

It was then I became aware of the forest sounds, just animals and a slight breeze. Except now there was something else, louder. I wasn't afraid only curious. I walked towards the sound and was met by the cracking of a branch, a snarl and then the sight of something running through the trees, away from me.I stood frozen for several moments, breathing heavily and trying to blink away the moisture in my eyes. The adrenalin kicked it, fight or flight. I turned and ran from the forest, towards the house. I burst through the tree line continued to the house, stopping short when I saw a figure. My heart raced, my breathing never slowing down. I bent down, never taking my eyes off the figure and pulled the axe used for chopping wood from an old stump.

I walked forward, unsure of myself and my strength. I hadn't slept, I hadn't really been eating. I felt so small and weak. How much more could I take, who was this?

"Who are you? Back off. Please just go away."

"Leah, put down the axe, it's me."

"...Sam?" No, this wasn't possible. What was he doing here? I couldn't believe it. Sam, my Sam was here? I dropped the axe automatically and ran forward, if he was here I wasn't going to waste a second. I was just a few metres from him.

"Leah, stop, don't come any closer. Just stay where you are."

What was going on, what did he mean? I looked at him, trying to make sense of his words. I cocked my head to the side, something wasn't right.

"Stand right there Leah... I can't have you come any closer. There's some things that I want to explain, but I can't. I... I wish I could tell you everything but I'm not allowed, okay?"

"Sam what are you talking about? You've been missing for weeks, then you come back and we have a five minute conversation and then you're off again for another two weeks. Now you come here in the middle of the night talking riddles, I don't understand. Please just talk to me, I need to know your alright."
I stumbled forward a few more steps just wanting to be closer to him and stopped dead. I looked at him, able to see him more clearly now. He was... different. For one he had grown, he stood, fists clenched and shoulders tensed. I'd never seen him look like this before. And his face, his eyes. They were dark, this wasn't the Sam I knew, he had changed. But why?

"Leah I can't stay long, I'm not even really meant to be here, but I owe it to you. I'm sorry about what's happening, I can't control it. I still love you of course, but I need time. I don't know how long it will take for things to be under control, I need you to be patient alright? "

"Okay." I could never refuse him.

"Alright, now why the hell were you wandering around in the forest so late?!"

"Because you weren't here, I needed to walk. I needed to breathe."

"Fine. But please don't wander into the forest anymore. I love you Leah, I'll be back soon, don't worry."

"I love you Sam" I whispered but he'd already disappeared.

~*~

I'll be back soon, don't worry.

How could I not worry? I always would when Sam was involved. But I would live my life, I couldn't handle the mourning anymore. It had been another two weeks since my midnight meeting with Sam, I was readjusting to a normal routine. My sleep was still a little bit out of rhythm, but it was getting better. I helped my Mum and Dad, my brother thought he could take up position as resident pest again, trying to make me do things with him. I was quite happy, only a small part of me was missing but I knew it was coming back eventually. I had hope, I had faith.

I no longer had school so my days were somewhat empty. I began to look at colleges though. We didn't have much money so it would have to be somewhere close. I thought about Sam then, would he go to college? Where would he go if he did? It did nothing to help fill the void in my heart, although, the thought of he and I attending the same college did make me smile. I also looked into some short art courses, would I be good enough for that? I had some skill but anything advanced I would have to practice a lot for that.

With that thought in mind I began to practice, to draw, to paint. Whenever I was inspired I would try to draw something beautiful. The days passed easily enough this way. The rain would come and go and I was constantly reminded to live by my family as they moved through their own lives.

~*~
"Hello, Clearwater residence."

"Leah, is that you?"

"Sam?!"

"Yes it's me. Leah, god I've missed you. Can I come to your place?"

"I've missed you too Sam, yes of course you can come, you never have to ask."

"I'll be there soon."

He was coming back to me, it was what I had been waiting for, for almost a month. I felt whole again.
I flung open the door before Sam even had a chance to knock and ran straight towards him. This time he didn't tell me to stop, he just accepted me as I launched myself into his arms. He was laughing and smiling, he looked better but I could still see some of the darkness in his eyes.

"My parents aren't home, neither is Seth, do you want to come in?" Please come in.

"Ok, yes, let's talk"

I turned, grasping Sam's hand, and walked into the living room and sat, pulling him down with me. I turned to him, just to study his face. The first thing I noticed was he'd grown, again. I was looking up to see into his eyes and he had bulked up, his body was bigger, more muscly. Again his eyes were different, not like the night of our meeting but still brooding. Something about his whole self was off but I couldn't tell what it was.
He interrupted my staring then.

"Leah there is so much I want to tell y-"

"Sam I don-"

"Please, just let me finish. There is so many things I want to say to you, to tell you, but it's frustratingly complicated and I just can't tell you everything I want to. Something's happened it's not something I chose it's just something that happened. At first it was the worst thing that could ever have happened to me, now I don't know what to think. It's nothing bad, you don't have to worry. I know what people have been saying and it's not true. Things have changed, I'm not going anywhere. I still love you, I always will, I just can't let you get involved in this.

"O...Okay. This is so much to take in, but alright I won't ask you questions. Know this though, you can always come to me and tell me anything. I'll always be here for you and I'll always love you."
I looked up at him and moved so I could put my arms around him, he was so hot, like he was running a fever. I ignored it though and pulled myself up so I was level with him. Looking into his eyes I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, he responded slowly and lovingly parting my lips with his. We continued like this for minutes until he broke away from me.

"I'll always love you Leah" He whispered to me.