Severus sat at his desk, silently watching. Always watching. Potter was concentrating hard on his assignment; pen tapping against his chin. A wave of guilt passes through Severus, making him shudder. Potter's low grades are not completely due to Potter's arrogance; Severus knew this. He just couldn't help being nasty to the boy sometimes. So much like his father, except the eyes; Lily's eyes. Beautiful, striking emerald eyes. Another shiver passed over Severus, this one having nothing to do with guilt.
Lily. Severus had loved her, that much he had to admit. But why...was it because she had excepted him, not made his life hell. Or was it something more, something he couldn't understand. Severus thought back to the first time he saw the startling eyes of the boy, his mothers eyes. His heart had stopped, and just for a moment, maybe a fraction of a second, he had felt something for the boy.
Severus thought back to the first time he saw Lily. She was playing with her sister, trying to build a fort of sorts. She kept trying to get a thin branch to stay in place, yet it kept falling. The sheer determination of those eyes, her eyes, are what kept him from looking away. Eventually she was called over by her sister to do something else. Severus walked over to the abandoned branch and placed it firmly in the spot Lily had tried so hard to get it to stay.
Then, in school, she still managed to make time for him. Always a smile or a wave while passing in the hall, or a reassuring nod from across the Great Hall. Severus remembered her hard work, and ability to always treat others kindly. And with a heart wrenching wince he remembered calling her a mudblood. Lily. His friend, the women he loved. They had fought after that. But he still loved her. His heart had shattered, into a million tiny pieces when he saw her holding his hand; Potters hand.
Severus is brought back, by the sound of chairs scraping as the students rose to leave for lunch. He once again looks at Potter, who is already packed up, but waiting with Weasley, for Granger to shove the rest of her books into her bag. He watches as Potter smiles at something his friend says, and shocked by the familiar brightness he sees in those emerald eyes.
When he was called to the headmasters office, and told of Potter's fate, he felt his heart break all over again. He had failed Lily, his dear friend. After all the effort put in to keeping Potter alive, in the end it was all for nothing. Severus felt sick and used. He also felt something that he couldn't understand. How could they do this to Potter? Wouldn't it have been better to at least tell him of everything, and of all the people to tell the boy of his morbid fate, Severus wasn't the one to do it. But he must.
Standing in front of the Dark Lord, begging to be able to fetch Potter, Severus is filled with dread. He must tell Potter, he must. So many things he must do, so many things he never did; never got the chance to do. And then the bloody snake is upon him, and he loses all hope. He has failed Lily, failed Dumbledore, failed Potter, and failed himself.
Somehow, amazingly, unbelievingly, the boy is standing over him. Potter reaches down, trying to stop the bleeding. In those last few precious moments, he realizes how much Potter really is like his mother. Before he's aware of what he's doing, his wand is at his side, pulling forth the memories. He intsructs Potter to take them, and Granger hands him a vial.
Again, he was reminded of the first time he had looked into Potter's eyes. The unexplainable feeling was back, twinged with regret at how he had treated the boy. He looked agian into those beautiful eyes. His heart didn't feel so broken and maybe, just maybe, what he felt lasted a little longer than a fraction of a second.
