The man I was

PROLOGUE: "The arrival"

Disclaimer: As you all know, most of the characters belong to JK Rowling. Jamie, Scales, Harmonia and Balthasssar though, are completly my own.

AU fic: two powerful men arrive at Hogwarts, while the wizarding world is preparing itself with little hope for the final battle against the new dark lord because Trelawney's predictions have failed...Will the two men be able to help? And why do they seem so familiar?

Hints of mpreg and slash, so if you're not a favourite of those, I would advice you not to read this story.

A/N: Before you start reading, I would like to mention to you that English is not my native language and that this story has lot of shortcomings ( grammar, spelling). I'm searching for a betareader, but havn't found any yet. So I hope you will consider this and won't mind a girl's poor attempts at writing much until I 've found someone to correct my spelling.
August 24th, somewhere not far from Hogwarts, the famous school for young witches and wizards...

A few starled birds flew out of the dense bushes and trees, frightened away by a couple of loud human voices. Their rest was disturbed. And it had been such a beautiful day...On days like this you couldn't help but loving Mother Nature with whole your heart and mind. Summer was slowly ending and enjoying her last days. The sun, taking use of her last reserves, shone down her warmth to the dry earth. Most animals had taken refuge into the cool woods, suffering enormly from the heat. You could hardly see anything moving, only a rare squirrel or rabbit slipped out of its hidingplace in search of a drop of water. For several weeks not a drop of rain had fallen or a small breeze of wind had blown. The softly rippling of the almost dried up river was the only sound that could be heard. It was like life had frozen and no time had passed at all in a month. Until the silence had been broken by loud disputing young men, who didn't belong here at all and would never be welcomed at this restful piece of Nature.

"For someone who has spent most time of last thirteen years in this part of the country, you surely seem to know your way perfectly around here." one of them commented sarcastly. "It's only to sad that, while trying to keep our distance from the old fool's castle and trying to get back into inhabited muggle world, we only seem to get lost even deeper into the old Scottish wilderness."

The other man ignored the bitter remarks, looking around attentively and observing the landscape. He suddenly jumped when treeleaves fluttered around and a rabbit passed by in a hurry.

"Look at this, he's already sent one of his spies after us." the first man went on, "We're done for it. I suppose we have no choice left but denouncing ourselves to the Ministery. Maybe they will be so kind to grant us a bit mercy. After all it's not like I have done something against the law ...yet. But on the other side, observing from a stranger's point of view your...er...not too attactrive face, I can imagine your intentions for avoiding the wild giant and the old meddling bastard. They would probably kill us before we get a chance to speak, afraid that we should dare to touch one hair of their little student worms."

The other man, panting still a bit because of the long and hard hike, had settled himself down on the rotting wooden trunk not far from the river bank. Taking apparently no notice of the reproaching of his companion, he picked up a stick and poked with it into the mud absentmindly. His companion clearly didn't take the clue and didn't grew silent as someone in this situation would normally have done. On the contrary, his remarks became more and more stingier. After a while, the sitting man looked up at his angry companion the without a sign of anger or bitterness in his eyes and commented wearily: "I must confess I liked the old you better. At least he didn't drive everbody mad with his talking."

The other bristled."You have no right, I tell you, no right to" 1 "But then, I guess it has to hurt a lot, losing all you superman power in only a matter of seconds."

"You tricked me into it. It wasn't even an honest fight. There even hasn't been a real fight." the angry man raised his voice, as if this particular thought struck him for the very first time.

"Honesty? Oh, yes you're the most likely one to talk about honesty and fairness. You just fell into the trap you have made yourself, dear old friend. You should have done better not to underestimate me. In fact, you should have learnt that lesson ages ago. It has always been your greatest fault", the sitting man responded dryly.

"And I have already told you my reasons for not coming near the school. For one thing, we have no bussiness to do with those people anymore. Nor in fact with anybody else form the magical world. We don't belong there and we should do better not to meddle with future happenings. We will take our distance from the magical world and reside in the muggle world. It will be the best for everybody's future and also for our own if we just dissappear. We could leave all those... bad memories behind and get on with our lifes. Finally..."

His eyes became glazed. But only for a moment.

"We could have a normal life. With all difficulties gone. And maybe this time you will find someone to share your life with..." He said as in an afterthought. If looks could kill...

"I don't see what my lovelife or lack of it has to do with the fact that" the other started growling, but he was interupted.

"that the both of us are now bonded and have to stick together for the rest of our life. Give it up, I'm the strongest from now on. You will go wherever I go and you will exactly do what I tell you to do. The spell saw to it. And I prefer to keep it like this as long as I can. Which means that, to prevent you from getting the upperhand again, I'm going to do everything to keep you away from all power that could temp you. That's my second reason for going away. Besides, we don't even what year or time we have landed into. Who knows what for trouble we could walk into... We don't even know who now has the power in the magical world and how all parties are now compiled. We had better observe everything from a distance before we jump right into it, if we ever need to of course, which I don't believe."

He only received another glare of rage."It's strange, though, me being older than you for the moment. I wonder why the spell decided to give us these ages. It's got to have its special reasons for that"

"Can you be silent for a moment, I think something or somebody is coming."

The sitting man shut up and pricked up his ears. After having listened carefully, he nodded.

"You're right, somebody is running into this direction. Could you ask him or her directions to the nearest muggle town?", he said, covering his face with a red, fluffy shawl.

It wasn't question, but an order. There was no way of not obeying it.The other scowled and nodded reluctantly. In silence they awaited the yet not visible and person yet unknown to them.
Jamie cursed to herself and kept speeding up while glancing at her watch. Why, oh why did something like this always had to happen to her and only her? It was all Cloud's fault, stupid dog. She shouldn't have decided to take the dog with her for a hike. With Cloud, things never went as they were planned. More the contrary...Still, it had been impossible not to melt this morning when the young sheepdog had pleaded her with doggy eyes to take her out that day.

And it had been fun...Until Cloud had dissappeared just after the picnic and had only turned up three hours later with three fat snails between her teeth. And after Jamie had been worried to death because the annoying and enthousiastic animal wasn't even her own pet, but those of a professor at Hogwarts, who would probably kill her and flunk her when her confession of having lost the animal was made. Cloud had been searching and calling for the Border Collie all over the place for hours, until the dog had luckily returned to her at the end. The only thing she had to worry about now was getting back in time to Hogwarts and to the formal dinner she was supposed to attend to. She realised now that even if the professor wasn't going to kill her, her mother would be close to be grounding her for the rest of the month. And that meant no trips to the wood or a day out to Hogsmeade anymore. Nor visits to Hagrid. The only place she could dwell into for the rest of the vacation would be that old, stuffy castle.

"Oh just cut it, Cloud." she snapped at the dog, running alongside her and barking happily. "Why do you always have to make a mess out of things? This is the last time I ever take you out with me."

The dog was completly not taken in with Jamie's threaths. She answered with her woofy dog-grin and wagged her tail as answer. Jamie sighed. She couldn't stay long mad at dog. She had already forgiven her. What truly didn't change the fact that 5 o'clock was drawing nearer and nearer. She glanced another time at her watch. Fifteen minutes. If she kept this speed up, she could still make it. Gasping for breath, she stroke the wet locks of hair out of her eyes. She hated her hair. In fact she hated almost everything her body was made of. And that was not becauses she hated her looks (in fact she considered herself attractive enough) like most teenagers, but because her body reminded her parents only more of her brother, with all the similarities and differences. First of all, her hair. She had inherited the curly, red hair of her mother. She could have lived with that singular fact. The problem was that her hair couldn't be "tamed", just like by the male members of her family. It took her a few hours of every morning to comb it and to style it for a descent look. Otherwise she couldn't appear at the lessons without receiving sniddy remarks... and her parents would again stare wearily with that empty-eyed glaze at her... and her mother would put her hand to her face and enter hysterically her brother's room, soft sobbing, to see if he was allright...and her father would gaze into space, touching his own wildly hair and whispering his son's name...and both would tell again how her brother had been born not bald at all, but with a wild head of long, black hair to be very proud of. Just like she had. The green colour of her eyes managed only to do more damage to the difficult situation, as it reminded her parents also of him. The only thing she was grateful for was that nothing was wrong with her eyesight. Her godfather had once told her that her brother had received his glasses when he was only three years old.

Oh my, it was really becoming late. She turned the sharp bend of the dusty path and stopped dead in her run when she saw the two strangers. Nobody, except people of Hogsmeade or Hogwarts ever entered these woods. They didn't belong here. Especially not people who were dressed like they were. Muggles...One of the strangers approached her.

"Excuse me, young girl, but could you give us please directions to the nearest muggle village? We're kind of lost in this forrest."

She groaned. So far for not being muggles...And she looked at her watch one last time. And knew she was never able to make it in time and would have to give in.

Lily Potter forced a smile back at the aged mediwizard. It wasn't like her family couldn't afford the costs. The problem was the situation itself. After having met already what seemed like thousands of docors, it was difficult to believe that this one would be able to help her to amend her son's present constitution. She would never give up all hope, but...At present it looked like each newfounded treatment was followed by even more disappointment.

She felt the slight squeeze in her hand. A slight warmth went throug her body. James...That good old James had tried to support her all this years, even though it had been hard for him too. She had always had his shoulder to cry on.

Noticing the sudden silence and the company standing very uncomfortable around her, she directed them to the table, which had been already set for dinner. She wasn't alone in this. Beside her own husband, James, Sirius Black was also there, at that moment of course more interested in the feeding of his already rounded belly than in the very object of the dinner party. Not that she blamed him. Albus Dumbledore had also invited himself and was now surveying the scene with his twinkling eyes. Molly Weasly had also come for moral support.

The greatest surprise, however, was Severus Snape, by whose help they had finally gotten into contact with the famous Dr Boyen and his fellow mediwizards. Lily still wondered what his exact purpose had been, it seemed only yesterday when James and Severus had been archrivals.
Maybe the fact that he had a soft spot in his heart for her daughter Jamie had something to do with it. Right now he was talking with one of the three mediwizards about a new potion for the treatment of Wizard Pocks. Her eyes wandered around the private dinner room, in Hogwarts only ever used for special occasions like this one. Everthing was clean. The dishes on the table couloured the air with a delicious aroma. She ploffed down on the red cushioned chair, still with the forced smile on her face. She cursed again, when she noticed the empty space of her daughter. This wasn't like Jamie, letting people wait and not showing up. Where was she? Well, they couldn't put it off any longer. She shifted in her chair, feeling like a lamb to the slaughter.

"...and then you will be able to see the first houses into the distance." Jamie ended, still eying the tall stranger with wide eyes. The man was unlike everbody else she had met. And yet he somehow intrigued her. But she couldn't point exactly to what was special about him.

"So...you will find it allright?"

"We are grown men and capable of following simple directions. Thanks." the man answered coldly as he turned away.

Jamie felt a bit insulted. Surely, her last question wasn't the smartest she had ever asked, but the man could at last PRETEND to be grateful. And what were they doing so near to the Forbidden Forrest anyway, if they just wanted to visit the nearest Muggle Village? Didn't they have any idea in what danger they could walk into? Dumbly she stared at the back of the retreating arrogant wizard. Suddenly she shivered, when the other man, who hadn't uttered a word yet laid a hand on her shoulder. She turned her face at him. The man's face was hidden by a red and clearly worn out shawl.

"Don't let him get to you."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"He doesn't have a clue about feelings...Relationships...Or simple communication with other people...Thanks for your directions. If it hadn't been for you, we could have spent the night here in the forrest."

She stared at the shawl. Only the man's eyes were free of it. The eyes who locked one second later with her own. She shuddered. Whatever colour the man's eyes once had, it was gone know. The only thing what was left in the dark pools was...Pain...Hate...a small hint of love...And somthing else strangely familiar. She broke their eye contact immedeatly. A tense silence followed. And yet the man didn't walk away to join his companion.

"My name is Jamie...Jamie Potter." she said quickly, wishing she could bolt back home. She heard Cloud barking behind her.

"You 've got your mother's eyes." the man stated slowly.

This was freaking Jamie only more out.

"I've got to go now...Mum will wonder where I am." she babbled.

Looking once more over her shoulder, she left him, urging the sheepdog to follow her. The dog followed her reluctantly. Cloud's eyes were fixed on a bush on the left. She started growling. The man didn't move and observed the sudden uneasiness of the dog. Suddenly he startled when he heard a angry voice hissing not far away.

"Feet...Human...Crussssshing my eggssss."

The man's eyes widened.

"No..."

He started running . But it was too late. The snake's fangs had already sunken deep into one of the girl's bare legs.

"Shit." Things weren't exactly going according to plan now.
All by all, this meeting was just a waste of time, Lily had to admit to herself. Even she couldn't put any trust into the treatment the mediwizards were promoting. It wouldn't work, after years of listening , she knew at last that...It was time to end the dinner. She felt James looking at her. She didn't need to look back to know he was thinking just the same thing as she was...Why did it still hurt? She sighed and it took all of her energy to stand up and end the dinner properly. It was a shame though, after all the work Severus must have put into making this appointment.

"You ssstupid animal, have you get any idea of what you have done?"

The man kneeled down next to the pale girl, hissing angrily to the snake, who had backed down after loosening his grip on Jamie's leg.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go away."

To say that the snake, was only a bit surprised, is big understament. The yellow eyes widened and the forked tongue moved wildly and uneasily.

"Human...Human can talk to snakes?"

The man didn't answer, but had started to inspect the wound on the girl' leg. It didn't look good: the fangs had sunken very deep into her flesh...

"How do you feel?" he asked softly.

"Oh, I'm fine. I really am...just a bit startled I guess."

Altough she still couldn't see the man's face, she was sure he was starting to smile...to laugh at her.

"You are putting a brave face on, aren't you? You wouldn't happen to be in Gryffindor?"

She nodded.

"Typical...Well, I'm afraid this particular snake is from a very poisonous sort. I don't think the poison is working yet, but...I doubt you could make it back home in time walking only by yourself..."

Well, wasn't that a surprise? With all the luck she was having today...She sighed. And what a stupid way to die...Mum was going to kill her. Suddenly she remembered.

"You...You're a parselmouth." she almost shouted.

She felt the smile dissapear on the man's face. He stood up. He opened his mouth to say something, but Cloud interupted him. She approached and growled the reptile, which still hadn't left the place, staring at the man.

"You better call that dog back before the snake recovers its senses again."

Jamie called Cloud to her, who obeyed her to her great surprise. Normally the dog didn't follow any orders except from her master. And even then it was with great reluctance. She observed the man. It wasn't every day that somebody tried to suck poison out of her leg. Too bad it wasn't Gin's brother Charlie who...never mind. She stiffened when the snake hissed again.

"What was it saying?"

"It's a he. He asked if you were my mate." he answered dryly

Jamie stared dumbfounded back.

"Huh..."

"Your partner...Your companion for life...Your"

"I know what a mate is." she snapped. She began to feel herself a bit dizzy.

"Well, why don't you answer him?"

The man didn't respond at first. Then he started hissing quickly.

"Ssshe not my mate, ssshe...ssshe like family, like egg of the same mother. I sssshould kill you for hurting her..."

The snake's body twisted anxiously.

"Ssshe...ssshe nearly killed my mate'ssss eggssss."

"You ssshould have ssscared her away, not bitten her. Ssshe didn't mean any harm." the man threw back.

The snake was completly looking mortified by then.

"I didn't mean to hurt a Great one'ssss eggsssssister. Ssssshe going to die?" he asked worriedly.
"Well, if I don't get ssssome antidote in time..."

The snake cursed.

"Ssscalesss going to be mad at me...my mate great fondnessssss for Great onessss. Always wanted to sssspeak one of them. She won't let me be father of her eggssss any longer when she hearssss of thisss."

A soft smile appeared on the man's face.

"So you are Sssscalesss' mate? I 've heard snakes talking about her...Sssshe isss a very pretty lady, of sssso I have heard...Quite a good catch for any young male ssssnake...You mussst be very happy to have her assss your wife."

If he could, Balthasar would have started beaming at the man's praise.

"Yes, I don't know why ssshe has chosen me over her other sssuitorsssss . I don't feel mysssself worthful of her." he replied, staring adoringly into the distance.

The man snorted. Jamie gave him an odd glance.

"Well?"

"We need to bring you back. I'm going to perform a spell on you. It will stop the poison spreading further into your body. That will give us plenty of time to get you back for an antidote."

Jamie nodded, giving her permission. The man collected his wand out of his pocket. When he pointed it at her, Cloud, who had stayed in the background until then, approached and bared her teeth at him.

"Oh, it's allright. He won't hurt me. Go away." Jamie tried to tell her off.

The dog didn't turn away. Jamie sighed...Really, Cloud was in need of a few lessons of discipline...Jamie still wondered why she trusted the man. In one way he was frightening the wits out of her, but on the other...Something about him made her feel safe. And she still hadn't seen his face...Her mother had always told her that a face could tell the life story of somebody.

The man didn't seem one bit afraid of the dog. The two of them had begun a staring contest. In the end it was Cloud who backed away. She stopped growling and after taking one last glance at the man, she lay down next to Jamie, with one eye on the snake and another on the man's wand. The man performed the spell. The moment the spell hit Jamie, she drifted away in a dreamless sleep. The man stared down at her. Then he heard somebody clearing his throat. He looked up. His companion had clearly returned, now leaning back on a tree.

"So, we 're going back to Hogwarts after all?" he asked, with a little bit of triumph in his eyes.

"Only to bring her back, Tom. Then we will continue our way."

"Don't call me that." "Tom" snapped.

His companion ignored him. He collected the girl in his arms. The sheepdog followed all of his gestures silently.

"Well, Cloud, lets go then..."

No one realised that Jamie hadn't called the dog once by her name.

"Harmonia, give that cloak back to me, immedeatly." The houself shook her head, stepping backwards and hugging the piece of cloth even closer to her. She breathed heavily, clearly not used to disobeying her master.

"No, no...Master Harry doesn't know what he is doing. Harmonia has to protect him from himself."

Harry struggled to get a grip on the cloak again. When it slipped through his fingers, he grew really annoyed with the houself.

"Harmonia, are you forcing me to do what you really won't want me to do? Tell me, which one would you prefer, a red or a blue sock?"

The houself froze and Harry immedeatly regretted what he had said. Especially when a tear trailed down Harmonia's face.

"Master, you should just say if you don't want me any more...if you don't wish me in your family any more.

Harry sighed, touching his worn down face.

"Harmonia, you know I didn't mean what I just said. It's just...I can't take it any longer..."

Harry winced when he noticed the high note of his own voice.

"Everything is going wrong, Harmonia...People are dying...They are dying because I can't fullfill in either way that damn prophesy...And I..He's dying too...He's hurting and I can't save him..."

Harmonia whimpered when she noticed a soft trail of wet on her masters face.

"It's the only way Harmonia. I don't know if it will heal everything, but it's the only thing I can do. Can you do one thing for me, my little houself?"

He bent down on his knees, looking straight into her eyes.

"Stay with him...Stay with him until the end. Tell him that I love him."

"But...He knows already that master Harry loves him." The creature protested "Maybe...But I have never told him...Harmonia..."

He grew silent again.

"Remember me. Wherever...Wherever we meet again, remember me. And remind me of what went wrong in this world because of me. Remember me..."

He shared one last long hug with the sobbing houself, who sealed her promise. Little did she knew what it would mean to both of them. And to the rest of the world.

"Harmonia must wake up, master and mistress are coming back soon from their formal dinner. The towels must still be folded."

Her mother's scolding woke Harmonia up from her trance.

"Uh, what's Tinky saying?"

Tinky scowled.

"Harmonia is never going to be a good houself. Always thinking...Always sleeping...Always dreaming. Master and Mistress are going to be very disappointment. Harmonia is a disgrace to their family. Oh, yes." the old houself nodded darkly.

"Harmonia is going to end in a bad family who doesn't want her. Or worse..." The eyes widened, pulping almost out of her head and glaring wildly at her poor daughter. "She will receive CLOTHES"

The young houself shifted uneasily.

"But Harmonia is doing her best"

"Best is not enough for your family" her mother lectured her "Harmonia must be willing to work herself DEAD for her family, for master James and master Lily. What was Harmonia thinking about?"

Harmonia didn't answer her mother's question immedeatly. Whole her life she had felt like she didn't belong with the Potter family. Sureley they had always treated like family and she couldn't help but love them, but there seemed to be something missing in their household. Something Harmonia craved for. Every day of her life she had been dreaming of finding her own little wizard family that she could care for. It wasn't until a few minutes ago that for the first time in her life she had been given the face of a new master.

Harmonia was confused. That scene which had played into her head one moment ago and the feelings involved had seemed so real. Like it was some memory of her past. And yet, none of it could ever have happened. She had been born into the Potter's household and had never had another masters.
Yet she didn't feel for the Potters what the man in her daydream had woken up in her only in a few seconds. But she couldn't say that to her mother. If she said that, she would be branded a traitor and possibly thrown out of the Potter household. So ignoring her mother's questions, she started folding the towels.

A/N: So did you like it? Any guess about who the two men are?

Next chapter:

-Explanations of what has happened into the forrest -Cloud throws a tantrum -Harmonia receives a big shock -More hints of the men's identity -Balthasssar's apology -Dumbledore makes a proposal to Thomas and his companion -Scales takes a fancy on somebody and -we meet Jamie's brother TBC