This is the result of a drunken (on my part) coversation with reluctant-I. She was talking about how a reader didn't want to read her story anymore because it had too much angst. She happened to mention that at the top the genre for the story is Angst/Romance. Not Friendship and romance. So I made the comment about how weird it would be to have a story with Friendship/Angst as the genre. So she basically dared me to do this. The first line of the story is actually from the conversation we had. It's short and weird and my awesome beta didn't read this, cause this is just for fun so try not to laugh too hard about this!
Disclaimer: I do not own this! I'm just playing around in the great Ryan Murphy's sandbox!
"I'm your friend and all, but seriously being around you makes me want to cut myself." Santana said to the teen laying on his bed in the dark. His curtains were pulled so that none of the sunlight struggling to get into the room could. "Come on man, you need to pull yourself together."
"I can't. I feel like my life is over. I feel like a lost soul trying to find an anchor in a sea of disreality."
"Puck, are you drinking bourbon? You know that makes you maudlin! A lost soul trying to find an anchor in a sea of disreality? Seriously? You are being a big baby! Even though she broke up with you, and knowing you two idiots, you'll be back together in like two hours!" Santana said. "Rachel will forgive you! Now get up and take a shower. You stink, vato."
"I don't want to get up. I just want my Rachel." Puck said, taking another swig of the Kentucky Bourbon he was drinking.
"You're not going to get her this way. Or the way that you've been acting. You cannot just act like Puck all the time around her. You have to be Noah with her. This womanizing, badass, stud of McKinley deal you got going on isn't gonna work with Rachel. You have to be the Noah that will watch "The Little Mermaid" with his kid sister, the guy who does all the heavy chores around the house and makes sure that dinner is on the table so his overworked mom doesn't have to worry about that when she gets home." Santana said. "All that badass stuff worked for me, cause I'm the same way, but Rachel, she's not like us. She's upper crust society, and we, well, we are anything but. She wants Noah, not Puck. So get your ass up and take a shower. While you do that, I'm gonna come up with a way for you to get Rachel back. What did you do anyway that made her break up with you?"
"I got jealous that she and Finn were talking. I basically called her a slut and told her we were done. So in reality, I broke up with her." Puck slurred, still in his prone position on the bed.
"Shit. Puck, you pendejo! Why would you do that? God you are such a fucking idiot! If we hadn't been friends since we were nine, I would dump your ass! Seriously! You said that to her? God, I have so much damage control to do!" Santana grabbed the bottle of bourbon and went to the bathroom to pour it down the drain, and then to start the shower. She pulled drunk Puck up off of his bed and pushed him into the shower, clothes and all. "I swear, if you don't make this right, I will never speak to you again!"
"Kinda like Rachel will probably never speak to me again?" Puck ducked his head out from behind the shower curtain. He then stripped off his soaked clothes and dropped them in a wet pile outside of the shower. He started washing himself while he listen to Santana rant. When he was done, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, not embarassed to be seen naked by Santana. He'd been friends with he for too long and had sex too many times for either of them to be embarassed.
"Not if I have anything to say about it! She better talk to you and forgive you, cause I ain't carrying your ass around as a boyfriend any more!" Santana said as she handed Puck a towel to dry off with. "Now we need a plan of attack. Flowers! What kind of flowers does she like?"
"Orchids. She really likes orchids. I think I will get her some orchids." Puck said as he dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist.
"Great now we have a plan of attack. Let's see what you have to wear in your closet." Santana went back into Puck's room to find him something suitible to wear from his closet.
"San?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks." Nothing after that was needed. Santana knew that Puck would get his girl back, and all would be right in his world. But not hers. Cause she was the one trying to help the man that she was desperately in love with get another girl. Life just wasn't fair sometimes. But she would never tell. She would go back to being uber bitch to everyone and anyone and no one would know that she was in love with her best friend.
So this was my attempt at angsty friendship. It's really random, and I don't think that I did to good of a job, but please tell me what you think!
