The 7.30 Rapport – By nlcaelum

Episode 1 – The Host… Herself!

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Author's note: This is based on the successful ABC1 current affairs program, The 7.30 Report (note the spelling pun I utilized in the title!), which is anchored by the outgoing Kerry O'Brien, and which I personally was impressed by during the coverage of the Australian elections of 2007 (which I was in Brisbane at that time), and 2010 (not this time).

This will be in Alternate Universe style, with all characters' backgrounds taken liberties with – majorly. Each new character will be introduced by the host, or relief host if need be (you never know…) and will be followed up with the main story and interview interspersed.

Characters will mainly be drawn from Baccano and Final Fantasy – their backgrounds however, will not be the same. And birthdates, for some. Parings here will be subtle, except for one (which you'll find out later). And some fans will hate me for breaking one relationship early on.
So with that, let the show begin!

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Disclaimer: All trademarks and copyrights belong to respective owners.

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Host. Ennis. Herself.

Initially, she was unsure of this. The only reason why she took up this position was because she happened to be in the right place at the right time (or the wrong place at the wrong time, depending on how you saw it). Basically, she had been up till then, an opinion columnist with the broadcaster's opinion site – and a well read one at that, given that she was always unearthing precious information others never got close to, exercising covert power on Canberra and more.

But TV? She always thought she had a face – and by extension, a figure for radio, not TV. So she thought. Because a political party important fella, who she'd interviewed (more than once) recommended her to the national broadcast corporation to take over a retiring predecessor – a distant relative at that. [And Uncle Kerry said OK.] She was a size 15 – size 15, for goodness' sakes! And a 36C! She was already having lecherous looks from across the aisle – having found out that her button-up shirt could not be buttoned up on the top button. Oh well, she might as well get used to it, and leave all trust in the hands of the costume and make-up departments.

Looking through the three items on the list, she sighed.

Victorian state elections. Well, what fun! That election junkie in her was excited. Two major elections, less than a year apart. How much better could it get? Too bad there was no-one to interview. Aww.

And then there was the issue of the Commonwealth – dereliction of their duty on human rights? Well, let the correspondents speak on this one. It was their segment.

New South Wales rail controversy – again for the XYZ time, about Epping or something. Well, talked about since the 80's. Roughly when she started getting interested in politics. (Remember, she was a 99-year old homunculus. Shhh…). An interview with the (embattled) NSW premier. Be nice, but tough. Like her predecessor.

Oh very well.

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After a trip to the costume and makeup department, she looked a whole lotta better. From some dowdy politician (goodness, years of interviewing them must have rubbed off her!) into… someone from Mad Men. Specifically, Joan Rivers, but with short hair. Yeahh. Plussed and perfectly hourglass, it was pretty good actually. And off into the studio she went.

Commercial break, right after the last segment, was when she finally got to know who was up for next week Friday (the Rapport had its slots changed with Stateline, since the regional MPs wanted more statewide coverage, which suited her well). And then she had her largest shock of her career. The very political high official who helped put her here was dropping in next week! Aargh… and it didn't make things any better that they lived under the same roof, AND was ENGAGED to him… Firo!

Utter awkwardness abound. And so with that, a deep blushing red Ennis announced the end, and next's week guest and one of the topics (the other two, decided later in the week). With that, this week's Rapport was over.

And on her way out, she grabbed a can of Guinness, something she kinda picked up from her adoptive father. She relished its deep, dark taste, as she got into her car with her friend, the sign-language translator for the 7pm news, and recently divorced from some Vino guy, that Don Juan. Poor Chane, life treated her that badly. Born mute, weak constitution, cheated on and dumped… Ennis felt lucky. Must be luck of the Irish.

The ride was eerily silent. And it wasn't only because it was a hybrid car.

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OK, so that's it for the first chapter.

Well, this was started almost on a whim, and already I've broken one pairing. I'll go in-depth into it one of these chapters. Soon enough. Just wait on for it… I promise I'll work on it. Meanwhile, spousal jib-jab next time!

I really love Ennis, I really do. I just decided to give her a small makeover just for the fun of it, while playing on her insecurities a li'l. She's really perfect how she is, really. Just exercising my artistic license.

Stay tuned, and remember to review!