Disclaimer: Jestress does not own Scarecrow and Mrs. King or any of its characters. If you recognize the characters, they are part of the original series and belong to someone else. Jestress just borrows them from time to time for her amusement (not for profit, sadly). If you recognize the name Fenton Phlantz, you know that Jestress doesn't own that, either. Although, she did some elaboration on Phlantz's personality (also for her own amusement).
The rhymes at the beginning of each chapter are from the poem An Elephant is Hard to Hide by Jack Prelutsky (found in the collection Something Big Has Been Here). See the end of the story for the explanation of Fenton Phlantz (I can't tell you yet because that would spoil it ;) ).
Explanation: This story takes place early in season 4, when Lee and Amanda are dating but before Lee proposes. Lee and Amanda's relationship is difficult because they can't explain the truth of it to other people, but yet people around them kind of sense it. In a way, it's the metaphorical Elephant in the Room:
Elephant in the Room – "an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed." – Wikipedia
That's basically the explanation behind the story. That, and maybe Jestress had too much sugar over the holidays. You decide.
The Elephant in the Room
By Jestress
Chapter 1: An Elephant is Hard to Hide
An elephant is hard to hide,
it's rather tall, it's fairly wide,
it occupies a lot of space,
you can't just put it anyplace.
- Jack Prelutsky
It was a nice autumn day, Amanda thought as she stood at her kitchen sink, enjoying the cool breeze from the open window. The leaves had just barely started to change color on the trees, there were still flowers were blooming in her mother's garden, the birds were singing, and the leaves on the bush beneath the window were rustling . . . wait a minute.
Amanda took a quick glance behind her to make sure that her mother and her two boys hadn't come back from the park yet. They hadn't.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Amanda said, "Lee?"
There was more rustling, and a familiar pair of hazel eyes peered over the window sill.
"Is the coast clear?" Lee asked softly.
"It's clear. Mother and the boys went to the park. You can come inside if you want. The back door's unlocked."
Lee stood up and came around to the back door, letting himself into the kitchen.
"You really shouldn't leave doors unlocked, even in the middle of the day," Lee said, coming to Amanda and putting his arms around her. "Especially not when you're alone here. I don't like the idea of you being vulnerable."
"I'm alright," Amanda said, giving him a little peck on the lips. "You're the only one who comes skulking around here anyway."
The idea of anyone else skulking around Amanda's house was troubling, but he pushed it away for the moment as Amanda kissed him again. They had been seeing each other romantically for months, although no one at the Agency knew about it. Lee didn't want to risk having their partnership broken up because word got around to the higher-ups that they were emotionally involved.
Amanda's family didn't know about their relationship either, and the two of them agreed that was for the best, at least for now. They were barely aware that he existed. All Amanda had told them was that she worked for him as his assistant. Amanda's mother had hinted a few times that she suspected Amanda of being involved with someone at the office, but Amanda would neither confirm nor deny it. How could she when the two of them were keeping an even bigger secret, that instead of working for a documentary film company, they were actually secret agents? Whatever Dotty suspected about her daughter's romantic interests, she had never suspected that her daughter was really a spy.
So, in addition to their secret lives in espionage, their romance had become another secret, just between the two of them.
"So, what brings you skulking around this fine day?" Amanda joked with him. "Is anything happening?"
"Not really," Lee said. "I just wanted to see you."
Amanda gave him another kiss.
"If you're not busy, maybe we could go for a drive somewhere," Lee suggested.
"That sounds nice," Amanda said.
They leaned toward each other for another kiss, but the slam of the front door startled them.
"Amanda! We're back!" Dotty called.
Amanda could hear the boys talking to each other as they took off their jackets. Lee gave Amanda a panicked look.
"Quick! Hide!" Amanda hissed.
Lee started for the back door, but there wasn't time. Amanda shoved him into the dining room. No one in her family would have reason to go in there right now, and it was the only place big enough for Lee to hide. He was just barely out of sight when Dotty entered the kitchen.
"The boys ran into their friend Tommy at the park, and they're planning to go over to his house and play video games for awhile," Dotty said. "They thought they might even stay there for dinner. Is that alright?"
"That's fine," Amanda said. "It's Saturday, and I didn't really have any plans. In fact, I was just thinking that I might go out and do a little shopping. I might end up grabbing a bite to eat while I'm out. Do you mind being on your own for dinner?"
"No," Dotty said. "In fact, I might call Captain Kurt and see if he's free tonight. There's a new movie out that we were thinking of seeing sometime."
"Sounds like fun," Amanda said. "I'll just go talk to the boys and let them know it's okay for them to have dinner with Tommy. I'll be back down in a minute."
That last comment was really meant for Lee, who was still nervously crouching in the dining room, trying to figure out what he could possibly say to explain his presence if Dotty suddenly walked in the room and found him. He listened intently as Dotty moved around the kitchen, humming, getting herself a glass of water. It seemed like an eternity before Amanda came downstairs again.
"Everything's settled with the boys, Mother," Amanda said, getting a glass of water for herself. "I'm going to go shopping now. Remember to lock up before you go out."
"Okay. Have fun," Dotty said absently as she picked up the newspaper and thumbed through it for the movie listings.
"Thanks, Mother!" Amanda said as she grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter.
Lee peeked around the edge of the door into the kitchen, and Amanda quickly motioned him back. Dotty glanced up in time to see Amanda's hand move.
Amanda smiled and gave her mother a little wave. "Bye! I'll see you later!"
"Bye-bye, darling," Dotty said, waving back before looking down at the newspaper again.
Amanda glanced up the stairs to make sure the boys weren't coming down. Then, she went to the front door and opened it, signaling for Lee to follow her. He ducked out of dining room, and she hurriedly ushered him outside before her mother could look up from her paper again.
