A/N: Hi!!! Here is a semi song fic to Crash and Burn by Savage GardenÑsemi in the sense that it only partially follows the song---as I run on 3 hours of sleep and am practically living on coffee, so, um, yeah, hope you like this, even though you wont know who its about until the end!! BE WARNED: THERE IS SOME BAD LANGUAGE AND IT DEALS WITH SUICIDE, DRUG USE AND ALCOHOL USE, AS WELL AS A COUPLE OTHER CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS, SO IF THAT OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE SKIP THIS FIC.
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild, wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't
Take anymore
POV 1
To most people, it seems like I have it all-----I am pretty, popular and had some of the most loyal friends a girl could ever want. But that was only what people see on the outside. Nobody cares about what was really going on in my life---the workaholic father who spent more time at the office and screwing his secretary than with his children and wife----the mother who constantly pretends that we were the Cleavers of our town, but spends a better part of her time with her best friend---alcohol--- and the fact that it was me who had to take care of everything in the house---I mean, who else would take care of anything? Life is so unbearable right now, and it isn't like anyone really cares about me. Everyone is so caught up in their own little worlds to notice my inner battle with depression. I sit on the floor of my cold empty house, clutching the painkillers my father took for his arthritis in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. I just could not go on living anymore, my life had absolutely no purpose and it wasn't as if anyone was going to miss me-----after all, they all believed the rumors about me, rumors that damaged my reputation. Now that I look back on it, I don't know why I said that people think I have it all. After all, these are the same people who are nice to my face and then talk shit about me behind my back. The stupid fucking hypocrites! I took a swig from the vodka bottle and leaned the back of my head on the cold concrete wall. Soon it would all be over and I would be dead---nobody would have to worry about trying to hide the fact that they thought I was nothing but a slut willing to sleep with any frat brother or anyone that was willing to get head from a supposedly experienced high school girl, neither of which was true. I sip my vodka again, this time swallowing a pill along with it. I tell myself that it is almost over and that I was actually doing a favor for those around me.
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
POV 2
I try calling her house, thanking my lucky stars I still had her phone numbers from when we worked together on a school project the year before, but there is no answer. I wonder why she isn't answering----after all I had seen her enter her house just about an hour ago---no I wasn't a stalker, I was just a friend who happened to care about a girl who I knew was suffering from rumors, family problems and the mere pressures of being a teenage girl in this society. That afternoon had been especially rough on my longtime crush. Apparently, word had gotten out about this girl's sexual relationship with a fraternity brother in a local college and he had blabbed to his brother (his flesh and blood, not a frat one) about it. This guy's brother had then told his friends on the football team and they had made a spectacle about it, telling everyone who would listen that they had also slept with her. If this is true or not isn't the issue---after all, it is her life and what she does with guys is none of my business----but the truth of the matter is, it hurts me to see her suffering so much. I try her house again but there is still no answer. Sighing, I try her cell phone, in case she went out and I had missed her, but all I got was her voice mail. Damn it. I toss my cordless phone across the living room, wondering where she was and why she wasn't answering her phone. I just hoped she was ok and wasn't about to do anything stupid---I love her too much to see her suffer any more than she already has. Maybe I should stop by her house, just in case-----so I could see for myself that she was really ok and I was being my usual paranoid self. I grab my house keys and exit my house, walking down the block to where she lives. It wasn't until I was halfway to her house that I get the feeling that something was wrong with her. I break into a run, hoping that I reach her house before it is too late to save her.
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one-way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
POV 1
I take a break from the vodka and pills, letting what I had already consumed take over my body as I wonder how much more time I have. I wish I didn't have to do this, but everything was just too much right now. Between the drama with my parents and those rumors---oh the rumors. Why did I make the mistake of losing my virginity to Chad LaSalle? I mean yeah, he grew out of his geeky phase and became a very good-looking college guy who was smart and in a frat, but what had possessed me to sleep with him? We had only dated for a couple months-----which was usually my limit in relationships---I never stayed in relationships for too long because I was afraid of ending up like my parents----but this time was different. I had thought I was in love with Chad and I had given myself to him, thinking that he had felt the same way. But he had dumped me the next day, never called me again and had bragged about the night to his brother Vince, who in turn told all of his friends----most of whom I had dated at some point or another----and they had started telling people that I had slept with them as well, causing people to think I was a slut, when in reality I had only been with Chad. It had gotten so bad to the point where my car was vandalized, my locker broken into and I had even gotten threats by the girlfriends of some of the guys who started the rumors. I had nobody left to turn to----people shunned-----I mean, who wanted to be associated with the school slut? The only one who was truly nice to me was Spinelli-----but then again, she was the nicest girl in school, having shed her tough girl attitude back in fifth grade. Oh, how I envied that girl---she was sweet, pretty and had the perfect boyfriend who would do anything for her. Not that I even wanted her boyfriend, no, TJ was a bit too Ashton Kutcher for me, but it was the principle of the matter. I just wanted a guy to care about me as much as TJ cared about Spinelli. But there was no chance of that happening----nobody would want me---I was known as the school slut and as false as that title is, there is no way I could save my reputation enough to ever be in a relationship like theirs. I take another sip of vodka, along with another painkiller, feeling the effects of them slowly taking over my body.
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
POV 2
I finally reached her house, standing in her driveway and debating on whether or not to go inside. Her car was still in the driveway, so I knew she was home, but did that mean she was ok? As much as I wanted to believe that she was, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. I quickly ran to her front door, knocking, but there was no answer. She could have been in the shower, or sleeping or be doing a million other things that could have kept her from answering the door, but I knew, I just knew something was wrong and that she needed me at that moment. I looked around the yard, finally spotting a big rock. Before I even knew what was happening, I had thrown the rock through the window next to the door and let myself inside, running through the house and calling her name. I finally spotted her cowering in a corner of her house, holding a bottle of vodka and what appeared to be some sort of pills.
Don't do it, I tell her. She looks up in surprise, causing the pills to scatter around the room and the vodka to spill all over the floor.
What the hell do you care? She asks me. Nobody cares about me. Everybody thinks I'm a slut. Why should you be any different?
Because I love you, and I want you to live! I always loved you, even though you always looked down on me! Please, just don't kill yourself! I will help you get through this! I step closer to her, kneeling down on the floor next to her, cradling her in my arms and letting her cry.
But why do you care? I was always so mean to you.
Because I see someone inside there that is wonderful, I mean once upon a time we were actually getting along and I knew what a great person you were. I cared about you then and I care about you now. Please, just let me be there for you.
She looks up at me one more time before hugging me, thanking me for being there and saving her from herself.
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild, wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
POV 1
I was just about to swallow the rest of the poison I held when I heard a loud crash coming from outside. I ignored it, thinking it was just some kids playing ball. But then I heard footsteps coming toward me and the face of a young man who I knew loved me more than anything in the world, even though I was too blind to see it most of the time. The man who once claimed I was first in his heart, the one that was here now, trying to save me from myself. As he sat on the floor with me, holding me, he promised me that nobody would ever hurt me again and that he would be by my side through it all, even if he couldn't fight those who were torturing me. (As sweet as he was, he was a bit of a wuss,) I look into his eyes and smile, looking at the one who saw me for who I really was, the one who saved me from myself.
Thank you, Menlo, I whisper, kissing him and thanking God that he had sent me this guardian angel to show me that I had a life worth living.
You're welcome, I love you Ashley A. I would do anything for you, He smiles and returns the kiss, a kiss that symbolized a new beginning and the birth of what was the start of a beautiful friendship.
A/N: anyone shocked by that? I was in an odd sort of mood and the song kind of inspired this. I hope you all liked it---please read and leave me a nice review (like I say, reviews are hugs for the soul) and happy reading!
