Title: Murphy's Law
Characters/Pairings: Fran
Rating: K
Warnings: excessive mental rambling. Spoilers for 348.
Length: 670
Summary: A look into Fran's mind in chapter 348 – so he'd thought he'd just float down a river and catch salmons or something, but look how that turned out.


Murphy's Law

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Fran likes to think of himself as someone who doesn't want a lot of things, really. If Master wants a sea of red blood he'll get a sea of red blood, and if no-social-skills-Boss wants fresh meat then he'll get fresh meat, but Fran's just a simple easy-go-lucky kinda guy. He believes this opinion's justified – he'd accepted a pineapple for a teacher in relative good nature, he thinks, without throwing any wine glasses or tables or even shanking someone with a sword, and he's agreed to wear a goddamn frog on his head, for god's sake. He really wants nothing more than Bel-senpai to stop throwing knives into his back or something like that, which Bel-senpai never grants, but even then Fran doesn't really do anything about it.

So maybe for once he'd thought he'd do something he actually wants to do, something like just floating down a river and let some fruits or fish or canned salmon float to his mouth or whatever, and it had been a pretty fine if a bit wet day. Then of course, of course they would show up here, together. Fran thinks it's Master's idea of a joke, because Master's jokes really aren't funny.

The most logical thing to do is to insult them, obviously. Sometimes Fran wishes they take his insults to heart and actually learn from them, you know, but Fran is somehow cavorting with the mafia and that rules against wishing too much. He also pretends not to know them, because for all the years-that-haven't-happened in which he knew them they've given him nothing but stupidity, more stupidity, and even more stupidity - and maybe a new appreciation of the truly vast extents of human stupidity. He's not lying, not really. Ten years before ten-years-later he didn't know who these people were.

Hell, if now Fran can act like a real kid again he'll milk it for all its worth.

He'd wondered how he'd die, before the earthquake. It had been a split second flit across his mind and he'd shoved it into some metaphorical mental fissure because it had been too sentimental and all kinds of troublesome, and it's really not Fran to be thinking of troublesome things. After the earthquake he still doesn't know how he'd die, but maybe he remembers being burnt and being sort of bleeding on the ground or something, and he's decided to take that thought out of the recesses and allocate a few hours during river-floating to actually give it some, you know, thought, because that's the one thing he doesn't know and he kinda misses not knowing. It's not really interesting to see what happens if he already knows what will happen.

Fran doesn't endorse time travel. He doesn't understand all the fourth dimension and big round white machine-thing crap. So Tsuna and the others restored the past by fixing the future or something – so what, since the future is gonna happen anyway, and Fran really dislikes it when something takes longer than it should. He's not really that enthusiastic about spending the next ten years all-knowing and all-grateful and all-bored until he can guess things wrong again.

And Bel-senpai still has the decency to throw a knife at his head, because some things just can't change and Bel-senpai's always violent when he's happy and happy when he's violent - which Fran also doesn't endorse, really, because deep down he's a nice guy who signed up with PETA in their petition against Cooking Mama and lets obese little children gobble up all their candy bars. Really.

"Fran, do you remember getting shot in the head recently?" Ding ding. Squalo-senpai has always been the smart one.

Now they've started bartering him. Makes him feel like such a desirable human being – someone valued above his abilities and wanted for nothing more than his pleasant companionship.

Fran suppresses a sigh. It's all chaos, murder, and ugly frog hats. The difference is that it's chaos murder and frog hats with either a pineapple pedophile or a bunch of caricatures of postmodern American gangster movies. If he's not supposed to be an amnesiac he'll probably roll his eyes. It's not like he can choose, so naturally he does.

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end


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