Disclaimer : Anything at all to do with "Prison Break" and its characters is not mine.
I never gave him a chance to tell me his reasons. I said what I had to say, walked away, and found the answers for myself.
Maybe it was easy to see for anyone who bothered to really look? Or maybe there was just something about him I understood that made it simple for me.
Either way I got the answers I wanted and was waiting in the infirmary when the time came.
At the time, I guess I believed I could stop him.
Looking back, I can see even then, I knew that wasn't true. I sat in that dark room, knowing I was powerless over what would happen when they found me, simply because I had no other choice but to be there when he came.
Expecting only Michael and his brother, I was shocked that night to see the odd collection of men standing before me in the darkness.
As I opened my mouth to speak, having no idea what
I'd say, he grabbed hold of me, putting his hand over my mouth,
as his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me to him.
With his eyes on the others, quiet and controlled yet loud enough
for all to hear, he said... " Don't scream. We won't hurt you. "
It only took a moment to make the decision and do as he said. I put my life in hands.
My heart pounded as I watched all their faces and
listened quietly as they debated my fate.
As they discussed leaving me unconscious, or dead,
by moving slightly in his arms I began to
realize that his hold on me was for show and I could
break free or scream anytime I chose to.
This subtle test of my captivity didn't go unnoticed.
As the others continued to argue quietly I felt his
grasp tighten around my waist as he pulled me closer
and whispered into my ear.
" Don't! I'll protect you."
Trusting his words, I offered my acceptance the only way I could, by stopping my struggle and allowing myself to go limp in his arms.
Our pact made, he said the words I've thrown back in his face each time he's urged me to leave since that night...
"She's a hostage, guys. No one's going to try to stop us with the Governor's daughter standing in the way!"
" Didn't you sleep?"
I didn't realize he was awake. I never do.
Paying careful and quiet attention while managing to go completely unnoticed is something he does with ease. A unique effect of prison life, I suppose.
" Not much " I can't see the sense in lying since I have no idea how long he's been awake watching me stare at the ceiling. " I was just thinking."
As soon as I say the words he begins pulling away by shifting his warm body that was, until that moment, pressed pleasantly against my own, as far over as the less than roomy double bed will allow.
" It's time for you to go and we both know it. "
Each time we have this conversation he does all
he can to put physical distance between us and
this time it's no different. He lies there on his side, watching
me at a safe distance, waiting for agreement he must know
by now he's not going to get.
" I mean it. You have to to go, Sara"
All I can do is stare back in disbelief.
Overlooking the fact that we're lying in bed together
I can't begin to imagine how he could expect me to
go now, just hours after he made love to me with
the passion and intensity of a man desperate to hold
onto someone he can't bear to be without but is
sure will be ripped away from him at any moment.
Frustrated and hurt, it's my turn to pull away.
" No! "
As he reaches for me, I make a quick exit from
the bed snatching away the sheet that covers us both,
wrapping it protectively around myself as I go.
" I'm not leaving, Michael"
He doesn't bother to cover himself and continues
arguing his point.
" Turn yourself over to the police today."
The situation unnerves me. There is something unsettling in the fact that in such a short time together he's become so comfortable that he thinks nothing of lying there, like that, in the midst of a heated confrontation.
I'd intended to walk away, slamming the bathroom door on him and the whole tired and predictable conversation but I can't help stopping to look at him.
I often wonder how aware he is that I Iook at him.
At first I convinced myself I was mesmerized by the tattoos, now that I know their meaning, but the truth is that fascination faded a long ago and now it's all about finding a reason, any reason, to look at him.
He leans up, bringing his chin to rest on his hand.
" Give us a few hours head start then go to the police
and tell them we let you go."
Watching his eyes drift over me as he speaks I can see that in spite of the sheet wrapped around my body, he apparently spends his fair share or time looking at me as well. " You'll be safe, Sara "
There's something in his tone, or maybe it's the look in his eye, that makes me want to do as he asks until something in my head reminds me why I can't leave.
" They'll kill you Michael. Without me here they'll
hunt you down. They'll kill both you and Lincoln.
You said it yourself..."
Knowing exactly what's coming he lets out an exasperated sign before collapsing back to the bed and burying his head in the pillows.
" You said it that night, without me and my father's insistence that I not be harmed in the process, they'd find you. It was true then and it's true now. I won't leave until I know you'll be safe, Michael. "
I'm surprised that he doesnt bother to argue his point. Hearing only a defeated sigh against his pillow, I find myself lulled into a false sense of security. Confident that I've made my point that he's resigned himself to my staying, I head toward the bathroom feeling somewhat victorious.
As quickly as I start to move he's up, moving across the
bed and stops me in my tracks by grabbing hold of
the sheet wrapped around my body. He forcefully
takes hold of the material on the each side effectively
using my attempt at modesty to pull me to him.
" Damn it, Sara! I'm trying to protect you! "
With that he lets go...and the sheet falls to the floor around our feet.
Watching his face carefully and hoping he can
understand my meaning, I move in, my arms wrapped around
his waist, skin pressing against skin, and allow my head
to rest against his chest as I speak.
" And you have to understand that I can't stop
trying to protect you."
TBC...
