Full Circle
Harry Potter descended the steps of number twelve, Grimmauld Place into the kitchen. He turned right and headed for the counter, intending to make himself some tea, until he spotted a figure out of the corner of his eye. Harry jumped a bit and turned toward the fireplace, frowning when he saw Teddy Lupin standing in front of it.
"Teddy," Harry gasped, placing a hand over his chest. "Merlin, you scared me."
"Sorry," Teddy apologized, failing to hide his smirk.
Harry took a deep breath in an attempt to slow his rapid heartbeat. "How's the birthday boy?" he asked after a moment.
Teddy smiled proudly, his cheeks growing red, which contrasted sharply with his turquoise hair. He had indeed inherited his mother's Metamorphmagus ability, and out of all the hair colors Teddy experimented with, he favored turquoise above all others.
"I'm good," Teddy said quietly.
"What are you doing here?"
"I…I wanted to talk to you."
"Does your gran know you're here?"
"Yes," Teddy said matter-of-factly. "She said it was okay if I came…It is, isn't it?"
Harry smiled. "Of course it is, you know that." He retrieved the teapot from the counter, tapping it with his wand to make it steam. "Would you like some tea?"
"No, thanks."
"How about a biscuit?" Harry asked, picking up the red and silver tin that was next to the teapot. "Ginny just made them…they're chocolate."
Teddy's face broke into a grin; he could never resist anything chocolate. He quickly crossed the room and plucked a large round biscuit out of the tin, which Harry held open for him.
While he took a bite and chewed, Teddy glanced at the stairs. "Is Ginny here?"
"No, she and Hermione took the kids shopping," Harry said, placing the tin back on the counter and then filling a mug with hot amber liquid. "Just Lily's here, and she's upstairs napping," he added with a grin, turning back to look at Teddy over his shoulder.
When Harry finished fixing his tea, he turned around, heading for the table, and placing his steaming cup atop it. He, however, remained standing, looking at Teddy expectantly. "What did you want to talk about?"
Teddy hesitated, looking down at the biscuit in his hands and then across the room at the far wall. "Well…you're coming tonight, right?"
One of Harry's eyebrows went up. "I wouldn't miss my godson's eleventh birthday party for anything in the world."
Teddy grinned momentarily, but then it faded just as quickly.
"I don't reckon that's why you came to talk to me, though, now is it?" Harry asked.
Teddy bit his lip and then he shook his head. "I…I wanted to ask you about…my dad."
Harry frowned for a moment. "What about him?"
"I…got this today," Teddy said, reaching into his pocket and retrieving a large envelope with the Hogwarts seal on it.
"I told you it would come," Harry said proudly.
"But…" Teddy said, looking down at the letter closely and frowning. He swallowed audibly before looking up at Harry again. "It's just…made me think…about my parents and stuff."
"Ah," Harry murmured, seeming to understand.
"I asked Gran," Teddy went on, "and she knows all about my mum, of course, but she's admitted that she didn't know my dad all that well. Most of what she does know about him is stuff that happened after he married my mum and about when I was born – stuff I heard a million times. I just…wanted something different, I guess." He looked down at his letter again, frowning as he tried to smooth one of the corners that had been bent, probably by being in his pocket.
Harry considered this, taking a deep breath and nodding before holding his hand out for Teddy's. "Come with me."
Teddy replaced his letter in his pocket and stepped around the table, reaching his hand out and placing it inside Harry's larger one. "Where are we going?" he asked, taking another bite from his biscuit.
"You'll see," Harry whispered, turning and leading Teddy back up the stairs, his tea now forgotten on the table.
As he continued to guide Teddy up the stairs, an odd feeling settled into Harry's chest. He remembered all the times when he had been dying to know something, anything, about his parents, and when he had finally met people who were willing to answer his questions. Those people had, more often than not, been Sirius or Remus, but sometimes Dumbledore or other Order members. Harry had treasured anything he could learn, and now he felt honored to be able to do the same for Teddy.
Harry and Teddy finally came to a stop in front of a bedroom door on the second floor. Teddy looked up at his godfather, a curious expression on his face as he continued to chew on his biscuit.
"This is the room your dad used when he lived here," Harry informed him.
Teddy stopped in mid-chew, frowning at the door and then tilting his head at it in curiosity.
Harry began, "We don't have to…"
"No, it's okay," Teddy interrupted. He swallowed and then fastened his top teeth over his bottom lip as he stared at the doorknob.
"Whenever you're ready," Harry said.
"Harry?" Teddy asked. "Did my mum and dad start dating here?"
The corner of Harry's lips twitched at the unexpected question, but then he frowned in thought. "I don't know about dating, but…their relationship started here, I think." Silence fell, and then Harry added, "Things happened so fast between them, I don't know if they even knew when or where things started."
"A whirlwind romance," Teddy said knowledgably. "That's what Gran said."
"Yeah," Harry agreed, nodding. "It was."
Teddy seemed to like that idea, because he smiled again, looking back at the doorknob. He finished the last bite of his cookie, wiping the crumbs off his hand against his trouser leg before saying, "I'm ready now."
Harry reached out and turned the doorknob, letting the door squeak open on its hinges. He didn't move, but waited for Teddy to enter the room first. The eleven year old stopped at the threshold, his eyes surveying the room carefully.
After nearly a minute, Teddy finally stepped past the door, stopping in front of the large four-poster bed. He raised a hand, placing it on one of the posts, and slowly rounded the corner of the mattress.
As Teddy sat down on the corner of the bed, Harry went to the desk near the door, retrieving the framed picture that sat there. Harry brought it around to Teddy's side of the bed and sat down next to him, handing him the picture.
"I thought you might like to see this," Harry said.
When Teddy saw who was in the picture, his fingers tightened around the golden frame. His father, a younger Harry, and who Teddy knew to be Harry's own godfather looked back at him. They looked to be sitting at the table in the kitchen. Harry's eyes were squinted in silent laughter, a smirk was playing about Remus's lips, and Sirius looked to be laughing the most.
"How old were you?" Teddy asked.
"Fifteen."
Teddy felt a tiny pang of regret that he'd never get to laugh with his father. He took a steadying breath and asked, "What was so funny?"
"I honestly couldn't tell you," Harry sighed, and then made a face. "And I should be able to, because that was such a dark time. We didn't laugh very often."
"I know," Teddy replied. Both Andromeda and Harry had felt it important to be upfront with Teddy about what it was like, so that he knew exactly what his parents had died for. "I wish I could have known them," he said quietly.
Harry wasn't sure exactly whom Teddy meant – Remus and Sirius, or just his parents – but his answer was the same anyway. "I wish you could have too."
Teddy turned sideways on the mattress to face Harry, setting the framed picture down beside him. "Gran gave me this," he said, reaching into his robes and pulling out an old photograph that was ragged around the edges. He kept it turned away from Harry, holding it carefully with both hands. "She said my dad had it with him when…" He stopped, not needing to finish.
"Can I see?" Harry asked gently, holding out a hand for it.
Teddy bit at his lower lip momentarily before placing the picture in Harry's outstretched hand.
As soon as Harry's eyes settled on the picture, a rush of memories flooded back to him – the last time he'd spoken to Remus before they'd headed into the final battle. Despite the sadness that had erupted in him, Harry smiled down at the baby Teddy in the picture, who was waving his fists at the camera. "I remember this picture," Harry said wistfully. "Your dad showed it to me once…The first time I ever saw you."
"He must have loved me a lot if he was carrying it with him."
"Teddy…" Harry looked up, surprised by his godson's words. "Of course he did! Your mum too."
"I know," Teddy said. "That's what Gran tells me all the time, but…it's just weird. I don't remember them telling me that, and I wish I could." He shrugged, unsure if he was voicing his thoughts the right way.
Harry frowned, looking down at the turquoise hair in the picture and then up to the still turquoise-haired Teddy sitting before him. "Teddy?"
"What?"
"Is this–" he held the picture up, "–why you like your hair that color so much?"
Teddy opened his mouth, but shut it very quickly, looking down at this lap. "I don't know."
"It's okay if it is, you know," Harry reassured him. "I was just asking."
"Well," Teddy said, taking the picture back from Harry and smiling down at it, "this is the way my dad and my mum would remember me."
He didn't say anything else and he didn't need to; Harry understood completely.
"Harry?" Teddy began again. "Gran said something the other day…and it's been bothering me."
"What's that?"
Teddy fidgeted in his place, looking down at the picture of his father again. "I don't think she meant for me to figure it out, because when I asked her about it, she got quiet."
"You know you can ask me," Harry reassured him, "whatever it is."
"Well…" Teddy broke off, his blue eyes following those of his father in the picture. "She said something about…it being autumn when my dad moved in with my mum, but…they got married in July, didn't they? That's summer, so where was he all that time?"
Harry felt his eyes widening in surprise, but quickly tried to hide it. He opened this mouth, but then shut it, reconsidering his words. At first, Harry thought about making something up about Remus being away on Order business, but…Teddy's eyes were boring into him. Harry could never lie to Teddy, especially not when his godson looked at him like that. Teddy had inherited his father's bright blue eyes, and it almost made Harry feel like he was lying to Remus as well.
Harry diverted his eyes to the floor, hoping that nothing he said would dishonor Remus's memory. When he looked back at his godson, Harry said, "He was afraid, Teddy."
"It's okay to be afraid," Teddy stated. "Everyone is sometimes. Gran said so."
"That's right."
"What was he afraid of?"
"Because he was a werewolf," Harry said honestly. "Or rather, he was afraid of what that would mean for you and your mum. With the way the world was going back then, and with the way most people viewed werewolves, he thought that the two of you would be better off without him."
"So…he left?" Teddy asked, sounding slightly accusing.
"For a bit," Harry said softly, wondering if he should have mentioned this at all. "Try and understand…things were dark then…so much different than they are now."
"Because of Voldemort."
"Yes," Harry replied. "Things are better now, especially with Kingsley as Minister, but they weren't always like that. There were even laws against Muggle-borns…"
"Like grandpa," Teddy said knowledgeably.
"Yes," Harry repeated. "And if the Ministry thought Muggle-borns were bad…just think what they felt about werewolves."
"There's nothing wrong with werewolves," Teddy muttered.
Harry smiled a bit. "We know that," he said, "but many people didn't, especially not back then. Your dad just didn't want to bring that on you and your mum."
"I hate everyone who made him feel that way," Teddy grumbled.
"I know," Harry agreed.
"And…my mum didn't care, did she? Not if she married him."
"No, she loved your dad very much," Harry reassured him.
"He was concerned about what I would think," Teddy said.
Harry hesitated, but then nodded reluctantly, still not able to lie to his godson. "See," Harry said, "your mum chose to be with him. You didn't, and I think he was most afraid of how you would feel about having him as a father."
"But he was my dad!" Teddy cried indignantly, as if what Harry had just said was the most ridiculous thing in the world. "I would have loved him anyway…I do love him anyway! And I'd still love him even if he was…part hippogriff or something!"
"I know," Harry said again, scooting closer to Teddy and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "I loved him too."
"Everyone did who knew him," Teddy said. "Everyone else was just stupid."
"I think they were scared, too," Harry said. "Your dad was different…People are afraid of things that are different, and sometimes it's just easier to go along with what the majority of people believe."
"My dad was really brave, though, wasn't he?" Teddy asked. "I mean, being in the Order and all…"
"Mhm," Harry murmured. "He was very brave. I don't ever want you to think otherwise."
"So why was being with my mum so hard for him?"
Harry was silent for a moment, considering this. "I don't know, but…do you want to know what I honestly think?"
Teddy nodded.
Pulling away from his godson, Harry shifted on the bed so he could see Teddy more clearly. "A parent's number one concern is the well-being of their children," Harry said. "Sometimes, we have to make decisions that are very hard, that require sacrifices, to try and give our children a better life."
"That's why he and my mum aren't here," Teddy said. "They were trying to make the world a better place for me."
Harry nodded. "And…I think that your dad really believed at the time that he was doing what was right for you and your mum – so you wouldn't know the prejudice that he faced everyday."
"What made him change his mind?" Teddy asked, looking down into his lap, causing his voice to be slightly muffled. "Why'd he move back in with my mum again after that if he was so sure…?" He trailed off, not needing to finish.
A soft laugh escaped from Harry. "I believe I may have had something to do with that."
Teddy lifted his head up again, looking at his godfather curiously. "Really?"
Harry wasn't about to repeat the things he'd said to Remus all those years ago, so he settled on, "I just told him that he needed to be with his family. That that was the most important thing."
A grin slowly grew to engulf Teddy's face. "Gran said they were really happy in the short time they were together."
"They were," Harry replied. "I saw your dad not long after you were born and…he was very happy, Teddy. He even told me so."
"I wish I could have told him I love him," Teddy whispered. "Even just once."
"Me too."
Teddy tilted his head inquisitively. "You never told him either?"
"No," Harry said, frowning in thought, "but I think he might have known anyway. I honestly don't think he and your mum would have made me your godfather otherwise."
"Gran told me that sometimes we don't need to tell people we love them," Teddy said, "because they know already."
"That's right," Harry agreed. "Sometimes, feelings are so strong that we know without even being told."
"Do you think my dad knows I love him, then?"
Harry briefly considered this. "I'm sure he does, because it would be pretty hard to love someone as much as you do, and for them not to know. Love like that doesn't ever go away, Teddy. That's how strong it is. It can even survive death."
For the first time during their conversation, the slight glint of tears shone in Teddy's eyes. He swallowed, trying to make his voice as steady as possible. "You know I love you too, then, right?"
"Yeah," Harry said, "and I love you too."
Teddy pushed himself up onto his knees and thrust himself into his godfather's arms, resting his head in Harry's shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, Teddy saw that his baby picture had fallen on top of the framed picture of his father, Harry, and Sirius.
Just then, Teddy's eyes connected with those of his father in the picture, and he knew that what Harry had said was true. In fact, Teddy was sure that the words didn't even exist to properly express what he was feeling for his father. It was a mixture of love, pride, and admiration for the man that had not only given him life, but had given his own life to make the world a better place for his son.
If Teddy was lucky, he realized, he'd grow up to be half the man his own father always had been.
The end
