When my English class read Great Expectations, we were given the assignment to write an alternate ending to the story. I got a shadow of an entertaining idea based on one of my favorite movies, and I (jokingly) asked my teacher if it was okay if my ending included Back to the Future. She responded (seriously), "Absolutely! That sounds terrific, I can't wait to read it!"

It was because of that singularly awesome English teacher that this ridiculous story was born.

Of course, even if she had said no, I had this other amazing idea involving Star Trek…


Kudos to anyone who finds the references to Lord of the Rings and Charles Schultz's Peanuts (one reference to each)!


Disclaimer: I do not own Back to the Future, but if I did, that would be awesome. I do not own Great Expectations, but if I did… I wouldn't want it.


Of Time Travel, Curling, and Not-So-Great Expectations

After I had worked as a partner in the firm for a few years, I decided to return to my old village for a visit with Joe and Biddy. I suppose that I also had a secret hope that I might by chance cross paths with Estella while I was there. So I left my job in Cairo and traveled to my little village in England. Joe's house and the forge still looked much the same as they always did, except that there were two small children running around – a girl, Jane, and a boy, Little Pip. One morning, the children were misbehaving slightly more than was usual, so I decided to go for a walk. I ended up outside of the gates that had once belonged to Satis House. There was barely a thing left of the house and the old brewery. Just as I was turning around to leave, I thought I heard a slight noise behind me. Turning around, I suddenly found myself facing the thing that my heart had so desired upon my return – none other than Estella. Surprised, I could only stare at first, but she didn't look at me. She only stared out at the ruins of the house that she had grown up in.

"I was told that the land was to be sold, and the remains of the house and brewery were to be demolished by the new owners. I wanted to return to see it just once more."

I still couldn't form any words, but she didn't seem to notice. She went on. "I think, Pip, that I had one other reason for coming here. I think... I had hoped you would be here. I think you deserve an apology from me."

My powers of speech suddenly seemed to return. "Why would you think that?"

She seemed rather amused. "Don't you know? Then I'll have to say it myself. You have loved me for years – don't speak, I know you have," she added as I tried to interrupt. "I know that I've hurt you with all my flirting with other men... and, especially, I suppose, when I married Bentley Drummle. I remember you begging me to marry any other man but him."

"What happened to him?"

"He died. Some old enemy with a grudge murdered him, most likely. He did have quite a few."

I held out my arm to her, and she took it and we walked away from the gates of Satis House together, still talking. Suddenly, the thought struck me: Estella is no longer married. She's changed... and then a daring impulse took hold of me. I stopped walking and turned to face her. "Estella..." She turned towards me. "Estella... would you ever consider... will you marry me?"

She looked at me for a long moment, but the look didn't seen to be one of contempt or even of surprise. It seemed that for that one wildly joyful minute, that Estella might say yes, but before I quite knew what was happening, there was a sudden flash of bright light, a loud crash, and Estella was... gone.

"Estella!" I cried, looking around wildly. That was when I saw it. It was a large, grey... something. As I watched, a sort of door appeared to open on one side, and a voice issued from inside.

"Great Scott! What have we done, Marty?"

"What have we done? Jeez, Doc, you're the one driving!"

Another door opened on the other side of the great contraption, and at the same time two men appeared out of the inside of it.

"Aww, Doc, what did you do... you just killed someone, Doc... oh, this is heavy... what are we gonna do, Doc?"

"Marty, do you know when we are?"

"No..."

"Let's just say that if anyone finds us here with a dead body... I'd say the gallows are looking mighty close."
"The gallows? Doc, I got a family, I got a girl... Doc, I'm not about to let myself be hung!"

"Hanged, Marty."

"Whatever! Please, please tell me that we have more plutonium!"

"Yes, yes we do..."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well we can't just leave her here..."

"Okay, fine, Doc, you can stick around and get yourself hanged, but I'm getting out of here! Where's the plutonium?"

All the time I had been creeping steadily closer to them, unseen. The only thing left of Estella that I could see was a torn piece of her dress hanging off of the front of the machine. Before I could think, I had jumped out of my hiding place. "What have you done?" I cried bitterly. "What have you done to Estella? What is this... this thing?"

It was the younger of the two, presumably 'Marty' that answered me.

"This? Uh, well, it uh, it may or may not be a... time machine..." he said, his voice trailing off as he noticed the other man, Doc, glaring at him. "C'mon, Doc, we just killed his girlfriend or something. I had to tell him."

Meanwhile, my mind was busy wrapping itself around all the possibilities that the words "time machine" had suddenly opened up for me. I suddenly blurted out, "Take me with you!"

They stopped arguing. Doc stared at me. "What? 'Take me with you?' You can't be serious!"

"The woman I love is dead! I can't live without Estella! There are too many memories here! You have to take me away!"

Doc's only response was a blank stare. However, the other one, Marty, looked rather thoughtful. "I think we should take him, Doc."

"Oh, you, too?"

"Well, sure. I mean, if somebody ran over Jennifer I'd probably want to get away. I really think we should take him."
"You would have to drag your girlfriend into this." He sighed. "All right, fine. You can come with us."

Before I quite understood what was happening, the three of us were seated in the time machine. There were so many strange things around me, I thought it best to simply sit still and avoid touching anything that looked fragile.

"How exactly does this work?" I asked, slightly overwhelmed.

Marty pointed to a large panel of sorts that appeared to have glowing letters and numbers on it. It looked like dates. "See, this is how you control where you're going to end up."

"When you're going to end up," Doc corrected him. "We don't move in space – only time."

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, you just set exactly what date you want to end up at, and then you just... go."

"So, when are you from, exactly?"

"We're from 1985. Actually, we're from America. We brought the time machine here to England because we wanted use it to go back in time to meet Shakespeare."

"What are you doing here, then?"

"Well, the time circuits are sort of broken. As soon as we realized it we started trying to get back to 1985, but we've just been jumping from time to time at random. I think I saw an oliphaunt a while back."

"A what?"

"Never mind. We ready to go, Doc?"

"Yes, Marty, I believe we are. Hold on to your seats, boys, we're about to do eighty-eight."

We suddenly began to move very, very fast. I closed my eyes. I quickly opened them again when I heard another crash, followed by the sound of very fast, repeated gunfire.

"Great Scott! It's World War One!"

"It's what?" I asked. Looking up at the sky, I saw what appeared to be enormous, metal birds wheeling through the air. "What on Earth are those?"

I got no answer because Doc had just jumped out of the time machine.

"Where is he going?" I asked, panicking.

"Relax, he's just putting in some more plutonium so we can get out of here!"

Doc climbed back in and closed the door. "Time to go!"

Just as before, we began to move very fast, there was a burst of bright light, and then a loud crash. I noticed that Marty had a rather puzzled look on his face. "Is something wrong?" I asked, rather concerned for my own safety.

"No, it's just... Doc?"

"Hmm?"

"Just before we left... did you happen to see a beagle in a red scarf sitting on top of a doghouse?"

"No."

"Oh... I could have sworn I did... never mind. Any idea when we are?"

"No." He began to climb out of the car again.

"Where are you going now?" I asked, again rather nervous.

"Well I'm going to find out when we are, of course. Come with me if you like, just wear that coat there next to you so no one sees your clothes. Marty – "

"I know, I know, stay with the time machine."

It didn't take us long to locate a newspaper. "Great Scott!" Doc exclaimed when he looked at it.

"What is it?"

"Look at the date! It's February 2010!" He opened up the paper and began to scan the inside articles. "What's this? Winter Olympics... in Vancouver, Canada! Well, this is quite an opportunity..."

"Winter Olympics? What's that?" I asked, beginning to feel rather overwhelmed again. "And where is Vancouver, Canada?"

"The Olympics! It's a gathering of the greatest athletes from around the world to compete in winter sports! Skiing, skating, hockey..."

Still confused, I started to ask what hockey was, but before I could say anything, Doc was rushing off back to the time machine. All I could do was follow him. When we got there, Marty was waiting for us outside.

"What's going on, Doc? Why are you so excited?"

"We're going to Canada, Marty!"

"Um, I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you say Canada."

"That's because I did! The winter Olympics are in Canada this year! This is an amazing opportunity, Marty! To find out who wins which events!"

"You thinking of doing a little betting, Doc?"

"Well, a little extra money couldn't hurt, assuming that we ever make it back to 1985 and I'm still alive by 2010."

Marty shrugged. "Sure, why not? Let's go to Canada."

I now found myself standing in a long line with Doc and Marty. Doc was arguing fiercely with a man sitting behind a desk. I had seen so much in the last few days, and I was just feeling so overwhelmed by it all. We had ridden in one of the metal birds, which were called 'airplanes' and nothing around me seemed in any way familiar. I was even wearing strange clothes. Once again focusing on my surroundings, I noticed that the argument at the desk in front of us seemed to be dying down.

"All right, fine, we'll take the tickets for the curling match," Doc was saying wearily, "if that's really all you have left."

"I assure you, sir, it is," the rather hassled-looking man behind the desk answered.

Doc turned and walked away, and Marty and I both followed. I soon found myself seated in a large arena of some kind. The floor in the middle of it appeared to be made of solid ice. "What's going on here?" I asked, confused.

"Curling," Doc answered. "It's a sport where there's this one guy with this rock thing with a handle on top, and he slides it down the ice, and those guys standing over there with the brooms start brooming away at the ice in front of the rock to make it go faster. They want it to stop in that target thing down there."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Just for the heck of it, I guess."

The game was starting. As I watched, I could see the tense concentration on the faces of the men down on the ice. I simply couldn't understand why they were so intent on sliding this large rock across onto this target. Feeling more overwhelmed than ever by all the strangeness around me, I suddenly blurted out, "I can't understand these things! I just don't think I can live in this kind of world!" It was at that exact moment that a sort of turmoil seemed to break out on the ice.

"Oh, that was terrible!" Marty exclaimed.

"He just lost the whole thing with that throw! It didn't even go straight!" Doc added.

I noticed the man who had thrown the rock walking quickly towards it, then with a sudden yell, he lifted it up and hurled it as hard as he could. My last thought as I saw the enormous rock flying towards my head was "I guess really can't live in this kind of world..."


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