Adventure Time with Finn and Jake does not belong to me.

I hope you enjoy.

Please and thank you!


"Happy birthday, Finn."

Finn shrieked in girly terror at the sudden deep voice behind him. He found himself gazing upon the floor where the scattered remains of bubblegum flavored cake lay strewn at his feet.

It was not to his surprise to lay eyes on Lumpy Space Princess lingering in the doorway. Her knobby body screamed against the pink bikini, several sizes too small. It was a lurid sight.

Jake, Finn's canine counterpart, leapt under the table. It was wise of him to avoid the sight, Finn found it nearly blinding to look .He would've gratefully trade places with Jake.

"Um, LSP,-" Finn struggled with the words.

The garment was remotely familiar to him, although he had never seen LSP in the swimsuit. Or any clothes, for that matter…

"I thought you would like it, Finn. I borrowed it from Princess Bubblegum." She batted her eyelashes- err, lids- and hovered over to the fidgeting Finn. A devious smile was plastered to her face.

That's where I've seen it…

"Or rather I stole it. But you won't tell, Finn? After all, I do look better in it."

Finn's skinny bottom met the counter as Lumpy Space Princess inched in closer and closer.

Too close, can't breathe.

He attempted to retaliate, "Well, I wouldn't say-"

"Whatever it's 2009! Dance with me, baby!"

She bumped a crooked lump into the radio. The previous song dwindled, going into another peculiar tune emitting into his ears and LSP began drifted around, orbiting Finn.

"I'm too sexy for my lumps…" she sang along.

Finn was confused. First, LSP comes in uninvited to his place in his girl's bikini, then she dances around him like a shark and its prey. It wasn't even his birthday…

It only intensified as she began bumping into him, constantly. The entire situation gave him a headache.

"Finn, baby, this one's for you." Her beady eyes shifted to hearts and circles, back and forth. One cannot determine the cloud's spontaneous obsession with the awkward thirteen year old boy.

LSP continued with her routine.

She had a reputation for absurdities like this and she never ceased to puzzle Finn, or the entire Land of Ooh. Maybe it was in her blood, or water, or whatever form of DNA clouds like she inherited. Though her parents seemed almost normal to Finn. Almost. Her mother was a tad emotional. Just a tad, though.

Jake piped up at his helpless friend from under the table.

"Finn, how do you feel?"

"Nauseous."

Andterrified.Aboveall,terrified.