Italics means thoughts or speech. STSTSTSTSTSTSTST means a break

Rating: K+

Summary: Kirk's thoughts when he was dying of radiation poisoning

STSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTS

I dragged my weak body towards the door immediately regretting the decision as I saw tears on Spock and Scotty's eyes. Tears of pain, regret, fear and sorrow. Spock demanded for the doors to be opened but all I heard after the demand was a comment that I could not hear. Spock leant down and as he did so I painfully reached up to the button to decontaminate the chamber as they would want to collect my dead body. I gasped out of pain and looked at Spock how's the ship? I asked. Out of danger. You saved the crew. Spock quickly said without thought unlike his normal self. I almost ignored his comment. You used what he wanted against him,that's a nice move. I blurted. It is what you would have done. Spock replied with emotions of hurt, fear and anger laced into his usual formal tone of voice. And this, this is what you would have done...It was only logical. I commented finding even more difficult to breathe in the irradiated air. Fighting back tears I managed to ask I'm scared Spock, help me not be. How do you choose not to feel...? Spock tearfully replied with I do not know. Right now I am failing. I struggled to say I want you to why I could not let you die, why I went back for you. Spock replied, his voice laden sadness for my condition because you are my friend. I put my hand on the glass and Spock did so too. I moved my hand to match the position of his. I started gasping for air as the radiation became too much. The last thing I heard was KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! and everything went black.