A/N: Hullo again! Well, I decided to write a sequel to Tribble? What Tribble? because I just couldn't get this out of my head! I want to thank my reviewers for that story as well. You guys are awesome! Somebody asked who my favorite captain was, and it is a tie between Captain Pike and Captain Picard. Kirk is a jerk. Kirk the Jerk. I was a little mean to him in this story. And I'm proud of it. I gave Khan a happy ending in this one. I am a little nervous because usually sequels aren't as good as the originals. So if this is totally terrible I'm sorry. But I HAD to get this out of my head. Read, enjoy, and laugh, always laugh. :D
Disclaimer: I own nothing but tha plot and Kerfuffle's name.
"AAAAAARGGGGHHHHH!" Captain Kirk screamed. He was racing down the hallways of the Enterprise wearing nothing but a towel and being chased by a pack of mutant Tribbles.
Khan suddenly leapt out from behind a door and shouted to Kirk, "Get behind me, NOW! Or they WILL kill you."
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe we should back up a bit, yeah? You are probably wondering what the heck is going on...
One hour earlier, in a dark room-
We begin our story in a dark corner. In that dark corner, there was a small box that looked like a kitty carrier. Inside said kitty carrier there was housed a Tribble by the name, Kerfuffle.
This Tribble was the deadliest in existence, feared by all except the infamous, Khan Noonien Singh, who was also being held in the dark room, his housing being a cryotube.
It is common knowledge that Tribbles multiply from one to hundreds in a matter of minutes. This was the task that Kerfuffle was occupying himself with at the moment. He knew, in his augmented, brilliant Tribble mind, that if he spawned enough duplicates of himself, the Tribble carrier would burst and then all Tribble hell would break loose.
He and his Tribble minions would take over the ship and conquer the galaxy! He redoubled his efforts and as he had predicted, the Tribble carrier exploded.
In the hallway outside of the dark room (which was actually a storage bay or whatever they're called...)-
The guard yawned. It had been a long two hours of guarding a room with a
Tribble and 73 frozen people and he was sick of it. Bored beyond belief, he was just about to reach for a communicator to request a PADD or something when the door burst open.
A wall of fur slammed into him and he was propelled forward into the opposite wall.
No body was close enough to hear his screams of agony.
On the Bridge-
Captain James Tiberius Kirk was nonchalantly reclining in his top of the line captain's chair. Today, was a good day. He was currently on his way to maroon Khan and his crew on a remote M class planet and things really couldn't get better.
"Sulu, how close are we to... what's it's name... the planet we're gonna maroon Khan on?" he never was good at remembering those names.
"Ceti Alpha V, sir. We're about forty-five minutes away, sir."
"Good, good. Spock, you have the chair." now he could go take a nice forty-minute long shower. Perfect.
"Captain, may I ask what it is you plan on doing?" Spock asked, stoic as usual.
"Uhm. Stuff. Yeah! I've got stuff to do!." Kirk was decidedly not good at coming up with excuses.
Spock looked doubtful, but he finally conceded, saying his usual, "Very well, captain."
Kirk exited the bridge and Spock sat in the captains chair. Unlike the Captain, he did not lounge in it like some kind of playboy. He sat in it with respect. Pressing the button for the Medbay com system, he said, "Doctor McCoy, please check the vitals of Khan and his crew before we take them to the planet's surface. You have forty minutes to do so. Thank you."
In MedBay, with everyone's favorite doctor (including mine)-
Dr. McCoy was not looking forward to checking the vitals of Khan and his crew. It wasn't really Khan, per say, that would make the experience unpleasant, it was Khan's damn Tribble.
He was absolutely positive he now had Tribblephobia. Because he sure as hell now had a consistent fear of tribbles.
He called two nurses over and proceeded to the room Khan, his crew, and that damn Tribble, were being held in.
They got to the corridor that the room was located in and heard loud groaning. Running the rest of the way, they beheld a truly horrific sight.
There was a redshirt (why, why is it always the redshirts?) whom Bones assumed was the security guard, lying in a puddle of blood. And... and... OH NO! He recognized those markings! Tribble bites! But there were too many for just one tribble. That meant... Oh dear god, there were more of them.
He couldn't help himself... he yelled at the top of his lungs, "DAMN TRIBBLES!"
The Bridge, a few minutes after Bones' discovery-
"So, are you trying to tell me, doctor, that the augmented Tribble gave birth and it, along with it's spawn, mauled the security guard who is now in critical condition?" Spock asked stoically.
"Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying!" McCoy was fuming. He was sure he had been rid of that damn Tribble for good, and now Spock is acting like a bored turkey!
Suddenly the com system beeped and a man's voice rang through the Bridge, "Captain? We have a problem. There is a pack of Tribbles in the cafeteria and they try to murder anyone who goes in."
Spock tilted his head and was about to respond, when another call came in, "Captain! There are Tribbles in the hangar bay! They are dismantling all of the shuttles! I have no idea how, but they are!"
Spock tilted his head to the other side and again opened his mouth to respond when a third call came through, "Captain! There are at least four Tribbles in each of the sleeping quarters! They are mutilating anybody they can get to!"
Spock waited for five seconds to see if another call was coming and had just opened his mouth when a man burst onto the bridge, "Captain! Tribbles are everywhere! They are eating anything that isn't attached to something and attempting to kill anyone they come across! Mostly redshirts. Why is it always redshirts?"
Spock closed his eyes for a brief moment and then finally got a chance to answer, "Cadet, is there anywhere there are not any Tribbles?"
"Only here and engineering, sir." the cadet panted.
The comm beeped again and this time it was Scotty's voice that emanated from the speakers, "Captain, we've got a wee bit of a problem down here. Maybe you can explain why there are Tribbles gnawing on every cord and living thing they can find down here. OW! Get OFF ya wee bastard!"
"Mr. Scott, I need you to get-" before Spock could finish, Chekov burst into the room (he had been taking a lunch break), "Keptin! Zey are coming! Ze Tribbles are Coming!"
Spock let himself indulge in a little sigh of exasperation, "Ensign Chekov, please go locate the captain immediately. Doctor McCoy, come with me."
"Where are we going?" McCoy really did not want to go anywhere near a pack of feral Tribbles."
"We are going to go wake up Khan."
Meanwhile, in Captain Kirk's shower-
"B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-o! B-I-N-" Captain Kirk's solo was interrupted by his shower curtain flying open.
Of course his reaction was as dramatic as it could have been, "Spo!"
And then he saw what was outside his shower, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Five menacing Tribbles were advancing on him all the while growling so hard it made the floor vibrate.
Captain Kirk's instincts kicked in and he did a flying leap over the Tribbles, just managing to grab a towel before dashing out of the bathroom.
Unfortunately, there were even more Tribbles in his bedroom, about twenty.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" he sprinted to his bedroom door and dashed down the corridor, not caring that he was in nothing but a towel. He chanced a look behind him and now about forty Tribbles were leaping after him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!" he had lost count of how many turns he had taken when suddenly, Khan leapt out from behind a door and shouted to Kirk, "Get behind me NOW or they WILL kill you!"
Kirk did as he was told and jumped behind Khan, who stepped directly into the path of the incoming Tribbles.
Four minutes earlier, in the storage room (or whatever it's called)-
Khan was staring at his crew (who were very much alive) in awe. Then he remembered that he must have been woken up for a reason. Turning to Spock, he raised one of his perfect eyebrows.
"Do remember the Tribble that your blood drastically effected?" Spock asked.
Khan nodded.
"It has spawned, and all efforts to stop it have been futile. It and it's... duplicates have been killing our crew members and slowly taking over the ship."
"And what am I supposed to do about this?" Khan knew what they wanted him to do, he was just playing dumb. It's so fun.
"I seem to recall you saying that the Tribble would obey you like a dog would it's master. So logically that would mean that it's duplicates would as well."
"So, Mr. Spock, you want me to stop the Tribbles in exchange for what?" he wasn't going to do it for free now, was he?
"If you do not assist us, we will lose all control over the situation and everyone aboard this ship will die, either from a lack of ship to hold oxygen or by Tribbles.
That was enough to get Khan moving and soon enough they were racing down a seemingly empty corridor.
Present-
All of the Tribbles froze and one cautiously hopped forward. Khan looked at it sternly and said, "Kerfuffle, what is the meaning of this?"
It cooed a little and Khan said, "That is no excuse."
During this exchange the Tribbles had started growling and suddenly en masse, they surged forwards once again. Kirk squeaked and stepped back a little.
Khan turned his icy gaze onto the rest of the Tribbles and they shrank back a little, "You are to stop decimating the ship and slaughtering the crew immediately."
Kirk chose that moment to snap from his small reverie, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, how did you wake up?"
Khan turned to Kirk and smirked, "Captain, your first officer woke me up."
"Spock woke you up?! Just to get a few Tribbles under control!?" Kirk yelled (he failed to recall he was in nothing but a towel, he was anything but intimidating).
"Indeed, I suggest you go put-" before Khan could finish, Kirk stalked off in the direction of the bridge. Khan could not resist calling out, "Captain, at least pull your towel up a little."
The Bridge-
"Keptin, the Tribbles seem to be moving to a vone point in ze sheep." Chekov said while staring intently at the screen.
"Good. Logically that means that Khan's plan is working." Spock said.
Suddenly the doors swished open and Kirk strode in.
Chekov began his usual, "Keptin on ze-" but stopped when he saw what Kirk was wearing. Uhura gasped and Spock merely tilted his head to the right a little, lifting an eyebrow.
"What?" Kirk asked looking around.
Spock was the first to speak, "Captain, I do not think that your attire is entirely appropriate to be wearing on the Bridge."
Kirk looked down at himself and gasped. Blushing he edged towards the door, "Uh, I'll just be one minute..."
Eight minutes and twenty seven seconds (by Spock's reckoning) later-
Kirk strode onto the Bridge in his normal suit and walked right up to Spock saying, "I demand to now why you woke that guy up."
"It was the only logical option, Captain. You may remember Khan saying that the Tribble obeyed him as a dog would his master." Spock's face remained impassive, as always.
Kirk looked a little chagrined, "Oh, yeah. I guess you're right."
Khan strode onto the Bridge with Kerfuffle perched on his shoulder. Walking up to Kirk and Spock, he asked, "Captain, I demand to know what you are planning to do with my crew and my Tribbles."
"Well, we were planning on marooning you on the planet Ceti- Wait a minute, your Tribbles?" Kirk asked in disbelief.
Khan looked amused, "Do you want them, Captain."
"NO! NONONONONO! Keep your damn Tribbles!" McCoy had walked into the room in time to hear the last part of the exchange and looked very adamant, running across the room waving his hands around.
Khan raised an eyebrow, "Very well. You were saying, Captain?"
"Huh? Oh! We're gonna stick you and your crew and your Tribbles on Ceti Alpha V. Speaking of which, are we there yet Sulu?"
"Yes, captain. We've been here for twenty minutes." Sulu said.
"Great, now, we've gotten what we wanted and I hope you won't cause any trouble." he said glaring at Khan.
Khan merely smirked and said, "Of course not Captain. I've wanted nothing but this since Marcus woke me up."
"That's good, because we are sending you down there right now." Kirk said while marching off the Bridge.
Khan and Spock looked at each other and both raised an eyebrow. McCoy just looked ruffled.
Three years later during the Enterprise's five year mission-
"So, Jim. Have you heard anything about Khan recently?" McCoy asked while they were eating dinner.
"Oh, yeah, actually I have." Kirk said thoughtfully.
Bones gave him a look, "Aaaaand?"
"He said they love their planet and that their Tribble farm is getting quite enormous."
McCoy's jaw dropped, "Tr-tribble farm?"
Kirk got up and said, "Yup. He wanted me to tell you that Kerfuffle missies you and says hi."
McCoy looked horrified, "Kerfuffle says HI?"
"Yup, see ya later, Bones."
Bones remained seated for several minutes looking vaguely horrified, before scoffing and muttering, "A Tribble farm. A damn Tribble farm. Unbelievable."
Did you like it was? Was it as good as the last one? Oh my gosh I'm so nervous! :( Please let me know! Review! Rousdower out.
