This is dedicated to my awesome reviewers! Especially you, caww!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. (I always forget to put that.)
Have you ever felt like there's something missing in your life? For instance, there's a void somewhere in your heart. Sometimes, you hear your heart saying, "Love…" But what would I know? I'm just a soulless vampire cursed with damnation.
As I walked through the dark streets of Port Angeles, I hear the most annoying thoughts ever:
'L—is for the way you look at me. O—is for the only one I see. V—'
That song is beautiful, but it seems like it's taunting me.
'I love him! He's the apple of my eye, my Romeo!'
Naïve, love-sick girl…
'I guess love is the only thing that keeps me—'
"Oh, for the love of…," I mumbled. And then I ran. I ran as fast as I can.
Love, love, love! What's so amazing about it? Love can only lead you to tragic heartbreak. Humans are just so naïve.
And not only humans, vampires, too. My wonderful family thinks that I should find someone for myself. I don't need anyone; I don't want anyone.
Love is stupid…
…and I'm not in denial.
I stopped running. It was dark; there was only one streetlight on. These people are just so cheap. Money can't buy happiness.
Or love.
I cringed. There's that word again. It seems like it's following me around. I guess the term "Love is everywhere" might be a little too literal for me. Though, it's not like I'm going to listen to it.
I saw an old park bench. I walked there at vampire pace. I needed to take a breather—even though I don't need one, but you get the point.
I quickly stopped walking to the park bench. There was a brown-haired girl sitting there, wearing a white dress. Her head was lifted up high, looking at the stars. What in the world is this girl doing at this time of night? Does she want to get in some serious danger?
I heard her whispering to herself. Her voice sounded so lonely and heartbroken; I had a strange sudden urge to go and comfort her. Her voice was beautiful, too. It wasn't like Rosalie's or Alice's voice, but…like an angel's voice.
"…am I here?" I heard her whispering. "Is there any purpose for me to be here?" It was like she was praying. She picked up her head. "I know you're there, you little Peeping Tom." Her voice was playfully serious.
How did she know I was here? Could she be a vampire, too?
I tried reading her thoughts. Nothing. I tried again. Still nothing. Who is this girl? Why can't I read her thoughts? Perhaps it's an ability she has if she was a vampire. That's a pretty useful ability.
I walked around the park bench, and I slowly sat beside her. I got a view of this strange girl.
She was…breathtaking. She has the most beautiful brown eyes. I guess she's not a vampire. Lucky girl. Her hair was a beautiful color of mahogany; it cascaded down her back almost to her waist. She had rosy cheeks, although her skin was unusually pale. She had a small, beautiful smile planted on her face. To narrow it down, she was an angel to me.
She giggled. "Hello, there."
Even though I was cautious of her, I couldn't help but smile back. "Hello. What's your name?"
"Bella. Yours?"
'Bella…' "Edward." I guess first names are best for this time. "Now, may I ask you what are you doing here all alone? It's dangerous for you to be here."
"Oh, just meandering around," she replied, waving her hand casually as she said that. "What are you doing here, Edward?"
"I just wanted some time alone." I pointed to my temple. "Migraine." From all of those lovey-dovey thoughts, I added internally.
"Ah, I see. Are you having problems?"
She seemed so trusting, even though I couldn't read her mind at all. And anyways, I needed to vent my feelings out. It's for the best, I suppose. At least it wasn't an irritating therapist, who replicates, "And how do you feel about that?" Is that all he's paid to do? It is completely aggravating.
"I…just think that love is so ridiculous," I whispered, trying to now give out too much. "My family has their own beaus, and they think that I should have one, as well. I keep telling them over and over again that I don't want one at all, but they just don't listen. I don't like the idea of my family playing matchmaker." I was giving out too much, but I just couldn't stop. I've been keeping my feelings locked up, and Bella was just so…trusting. "I don't need a lover. I'm perfectly capable of being alone for all eternity." If only she knew that was literal…
Bella was quietly listening the whole time. I was grateful that she actually listened. Her eyes didn't show pity but empathy. It was like she truly comprehended what I was talking about.
But what was she thinking about? This could all be a façade, her being all trusting. I just didn't know. I felt lost without hearing her thoughts. Bella…is amazing.
"Yes, love is ridiculous," she said softly, "but it also is an important part of life. Everybody wants"—she gave me a knowing look—"and needs love, whether they like it or not. Your mind is saying, 'No,' but your heart is saying, 'Yes.' Think about it, Edward. I never experienced love, either—only from my family."
Her words were so true. She almost convinced me that I need love. But…it sounded like she wanted and needed love, also.
"What about you—what's your problem?" I asked, hoping to see if I could help her; after all she helped me. "I can help."
Her eyes suddenly became gloomy. It broke my already dead heart to see that. "I don't know why I'm here. I believe that…there must be something missing in my life—something I haven't done." She bit her lip. It was driving me insane, me not knowing what she was thinking. I'm just not so acclimated to it.
"Well, you'll find out. I'm sure you can." I smiled at her gently. "And everybody feels that way, Bella. I do, too."
"I know," she sighed. "Don't you want to know what love feels like?"
I was surprised by her sudden change of topic. "I don't think so. I hear too much about them. Love always leads to heartbreak."
"But that doesn't mean you give up; you persevere. Don't find love—let it find you. That's just how it is."
"You're good at giving advice, you know. Are you sure you're not Oprah in disguise?" I joked.
She laughed softly; it soothed me very well. "I am very sure, Edward. Besides, Oprah's best at giving advice. I'm not that good."
"Don't be modest—you're excellent at it. You made me a little more…warm to the word 'love.' And your words are somewhat soothing. I enjoy it very much."
She blushed; her cheeks became a darker shade of red. My hand was itching to stroke it, feel the warmth radiating off her soft cheeks… She was so perfect.
"Thank you, Edward. Nobody has complimented me like that before."
I was shocked. "Why wouldn't they? You're absolutely beautiful and you're just astounding." I hadn't meant to say that, but I guess my mouth has a mind of its own now.
She blushed again. "Wow, thank you again." She suddenly became quiet. Was there something wrong?
"What are you thinking about?" I blurted out.
She jumped a little. "What?"
"I just want to know what goes on in your mind. You're hard for me to read, you know. And I'm pretty good at reading people. You…nothing."
She smiled softly. "I'm just thinking about how we're just strangers to each other and we're telling each other how we feel. It's so peculiar."
I nodded in agreement. "Indeed. We're not obligated to do it; we just…trust each other. And you're supposed to be running away from me. I might be a very bad person." As much as I wanted her to run away from me, because I'm a monster, I still wanted her to stay. My selfish side is overpowering me.
"You're not—I know it. And how do you know that I'm not a very bad person?"
I gave her a look. "Oh, please, Bella. Just one look at you and they'll know you're not bad. You're practically an angel."
I was expecting her to blush, but she didn't. She averted her eyes away from me. I heard her heart pounding fast, her breathing coming out fast. Did I say something?
"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, shockingly concerned. "Did I say something wrong that somehow offended you?"
"No," she said so quietly that my vampire ears had to strain to listen. "It's nothing. I'm all right."
"Are you sure? I could take you home. Where do you live?" That last question was a foolish thing to say—she might think I'm a crazed stalker or something else. Something bad. A vampire. Which is what I am.
"I'm positively sure. It's nothing."
We were silent. None of use spoke. All we heard was the crickets chirping and the wind's breeze coming past our ears.
"You should be going home; your family must be worried," I suggested.
"I…don't live with my family," she replied. "I live alone."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me for bringing it up."
"No, it's okay. You didn't know. It's understandable."
'You're too caring, Bella,' I thought to myself, as I watched her.
"You should go home now. I'm fine by myself," Bella whispered. "Your family must be worried sick about you. Depending on how you talked about them, I'm sure you might scare them to death."
I chuckled at the word "death." "They already know I'm safe. And besides, I can take care of myself. It's you you should be worried about, okay? Go home now, Bella. Please," I added pleadingly.
"You can go home; I can sense that you want to. I'll just stay here for a while, and then I'll go home." She smiled at me. But she was wrong; I didn't want to leave at all. I'm just so interested in her.
"Promise?"
"Promise. Good night, Edward."
"Good night, Bella. It was really nice to talk to you."
"Ditto."
I got up, and then I took her hand softly. My hand tingled with sudden electricity when her hand and mine came in contact. That was odd. Softly, I kissed her hand; it was so soft. I regrettably let go of her hand. I smiled at her warmly.
"You're amazing," I said softly. Then I walked to my car. When I was out of eye-distance, I ran at vampire speed.
I got into my car, and started it. I rubbed my temple, sighing.
I smiled happily. Just thinking about Bella makes me so happy. She's just so… I can't even find the words to describe her. She's…astounding, picturesque, sweet, caring, warm, trusting, et cetera, et cetera!
'Bella…Bella…Bella…Bella…'
I chuckled softly to myself. And then I drove out of here fast. As I was driving, all I could think about was Bella. Bella… I feel something inside of me; it's nice and warm.
What is Bella making me feel? This feeling makes me feel like the happiest man on earth…
…and a hypocrite.
This is another story yet again. This time, I won't delete it. It's dedicated to you all! I love you guys! I just hope you like it!
Review, review, review!
Monica-san
