Chapter 1 - Back to work
As usual, Kirsty parked her car inside one of the bays reserved for staff members. However, unlike most days, where she would leap out of the car, grab her bag and race into the hospital to avoid being ticked off by Tess for being late again, she sat in silence and rested her head lightly on the steering wheel.
It was her first day back at work since she'd been arrested and released on suspicion of Warren's murder. She had been ready to take the blame, anything in order to protect Nita, but her daughter had had other ideas. She had confessed all to her favourite teacher in school, who had immediately phoned the police and explained the situation. After several hours of questioning and a lecture on the consequences of lying to the police, Kirsty had been free to go. There would still be an official inquest, where the details of her home life would have to be revealed, but Kirsty was no longer under suspicion. Nita would have to endure the painful process of giving evidence at the inquest - Kirsty would have given anything to have spared her that, but the police assured her that there was no other way, and that there was no chance that Nita would be blamed for her father's death.
Glancing at her watch, Kirsty reluctantly got out of the car. She was dreading facing her colleagues, she was unsure how much any of them knew and how those who did know would react. Would they pity her? Or would they blame her for her husband's violence, thinking that she must have done something to warrant his anger? She knew she wasn't perfect. She'd kissed Adam that night in the pub, and again when Warren was in hospital, ill. As much as she liked to think of herself as an independent woman, she had to admit that she just wanted to feel loved…
She took a deep breath, and entered the ED. She was greeted almost immediately by Tess.
"Ah, Kirsty. Good to have you back," Tess said, before starting to look uncomfortable. "I'm sorry about… well, you know."
"Does everybody know?" Kirsty asked, dreading the answer.
"Bits… you know how gossip spreads around the ED. Everyone is on your side, Kirsty, no-one blames you for what happened, and just so you know there wasn't anyone in the department who believed you would have… well, done what the police thought you had."
Kirsty sighed as she went to change into her scrubs. Zoe was in the changing rooms and she looked up as Kirsty entered.
"Hey Kirsty, good to see you back," Zoe smiled.
"Thanks," Kirsty replied with a nervous smile. There was an awkward silence.
"I'm sorry about your husband…" Zoe began.
"Thanks," Kirsty replied simply.
Zoe hesitated before continuing. "Someone told me he'd been… that you'd been… hurt by him," she was unsure how to phrase it. "I'm sorry, I wish you'd told one of us."
"Don't be," Kirsty said simply. Without knowing where the words came from, she found herself confiding in the older doctor. "He was… he'd been… well, hitting me since Nita was born. There were times when I wanted to hurt him back, but I never could. I still loved him. And now I'm so confused, because I feel… I feel safe, almost happy, but I know I shouldn't, because he's dead…" Her eyes filled with tears and she tried to fight them back. Zoe pulled her into an awkward hug, and for the first time since Warren's death, Kirsty let the tears fall.
