Title: Clark Kent's Journal
Author: DarthWasabi
Rating: M (For slight swearing and stupid situations)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: A look inside what Clark really writes about anything and anyone!
A/n: I've read a
lot of stories like this before, just not with Smallville. So I
thought I'd give it a shot. The Journal begins right after he got
it in season 5, also there will be some things that I just throw in
there randomly, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to find those
ones. Clark is a little (a lot) OOC. Just warning
you. Enjoy!
8
Dear Diary,
Wow
my first entry in my journal, this is some moment huh?…Hmm there
seems to be nothing all that important to report at the moment. Be
back later.
Clark
Dear diary,
Ok I admit, I'm
only writing in this because I'm a little frightened Lois will look
for it, find it and read it. I don't want it to look like, that I
don't appreciate her gift…I mean not that it matters or
anything…
From Clark
Dear Diary,
Today Chloe
suggested I take up golf, don't exactly know why, but you know.
Anyway, tried it and I suck! Maybe I'll take up another
sport.
Love Clark
P.S. On the news it said NASA picked up a golf ball in the stratosphere on one of those blip screens. See I knew it never landed in the trees. Chloe owes me 10 bucks!
Dear
Diary,
Found new sport, I call it: See how many times I can get
Lois to say 'Crap'.
Currently – 218 times in 2 days
Post
update later.
(I guess it helps that I have superpowers!)
Love Clark
Dear diary,
Old, new sport
ruined. Found newer one: How To Dodge Lois' Frying Pan When She
Finds Out She Is A Part Of A Uncoded Sport For Clark Kent's
Amusement.
Have to admit though, my reflexes are in beautiful
condition at the moment!
Love Clark
Dear Diary,
Do
you think the Phantom Zone is listed in the top 10 list of 'Worst
places to live in the 28 known galaxy's list'?
I think it is!
It's like a frigging Star Wars movie out here! I feel like one of
those Aliens…(Ignore last sentence reason being I am an alien)
Also
met a chick who says she worked for my papa El. Not only that but she
looks strangely like that Kara person who I fell for awhile back.
Hmmm, I think Jor-El's got something going on with blondes!
Anyway! Gotta clean these scratches on my face. I hope Lois doesn't find out I got beat up bad by a girl…Not that I care what she thinks.
Love Clark
Dear Diary,
Just realised
something, where is Lara?! I mean, I know she's dead but is she
never mentioned by anyone? I mean it's Jor-el this, Raya that, Zod
over there, Kal-el Here.
What about Lara? Very worried at lack of biological mother issues. It just doesn't fit in with the rest of the family.
Clark
Dear Diary,
Just beat the
crap out of Zod. I'll give you the abridged version of events.
1)
Flew with Zod (Not very romantic)
2) Went into Forrest (Still have
pieces of rock in hair)
3) Went to field (Zod at this point
kicking my ass)
4) "Kneel before ZOD!" (So clichéd)
5)
Zapped him with state of the art El family broche.
Who's kneeling now, BITCH!
Love Clark
Dear Diary,
Went
to hospital to see how Lois was doing. Was happily surprised at the
tender moment we shared. It was…Nice. She also said something about
an ice palace. Now realise Fortress has sucky security.
Also extremely worried that every time a New Year starts or year-ends, Lois and I have a conversation in a hospital.
Now currently, trying to get over slight touch of hand.
Clark
Dear
Diary,
My mom bought me new shoes today, fancy leather ones.
Unfortunately, every time I wear them, they squeak. You should hear
it when I'm super speeding around.
Chloe thinks it's
hilarious.
Mom thinks that the sound will go in time.
Lois
thinks it's the Clark Kent version of the Cow Bell.
I think I'm
throwing them away.
Always around,
Clark
Dear
Diary,
Was surfing the Internet today, discovered Fan Fiction for
the first time. Some of these stories should be published or
something, they're that good! But some seem a bit desperate, like
when people put the main character with someone they obviously aren't
going to end up with.
Going to look for more.
Clark
Dear
Diary,
Just found a genre I've never heard of before 'Smut'.
Going to find out what it is.
Clark
Dear
Diary,
Found out what it
is.
......
Don't
want to talk about it.
Clark.
Dear Diary,
Been
feeling responsible for nearly destroying the human race,
Bringing
back fathers' worst enemy,
Letting out creepy crawlies from the
Phantom Zone,
Accidentally putting dye in Lois' shampoo…No
wait, meant to do that!
Anyway, I've thought about it a lot. I'm going to help people rebuild their lives.
Love Clark
Dear Diary,
Lois found out it was me who put dye in her shampoo. (Now think Chloe's a snitch) I now currently have orange skin. An hour after my shower, Lois came over. She still had blue hair, mother though it was hilarious! She took a photo of us together.
Currently dying of horror with
Lois.
Clark
Dear Diary,
Rebuilt 8 houses today, not
bad.
Recently had a scratchy throat. Mom thinks I may be getting
my first cold.
I think I ate something furry at one point and it's
stuck in my throat.
Love Clark.
Dear Diary,
Have cold.
Clark
Dear Diary,
Had a bit of a moment
today. I sneezed. Yes I'm shocked too. I almost killed Lois who was
jogging a few miles away! Have a feeling I won't be using this
power very often. I feel like the big bad wolf.
Love, Man of sneeze
Dear Diary,
Just had a read of Lois' article
in the Inquisitor. Actually it's not all that bad, but you can tell
which bits the editor changed. Oh well, mom says she's going to
start a scrapbook with all the articles Lois does. Ha! Now there's
the smallest scrapbook in existence…
(Why do I think that comment is going to bite me in the ass later in life?)
From Clark
Dear Diary,
Home alone tonight, mom's having annual
meetings up at D.C. So I'm watching TV and eating left over pizza.
Have now discovered that I hate anchovies. I Have no idea how mom and
Lois and Chloe eat them.
(Shivers)
Love Clark
Dear
Diary,
Had a dream last night. I dreamt I was this big
marshmallow.
Note to self: Never eat left over anchovy pizza! I
don't care how good It might look, just DON"T!
Love
Clark
P.S. I was blue, is there even a blue coloured marshmallow?
