Title: Clark Kent's Journal

Author: DarthWasabi

Rating: M (For slight swearing and stupid situations)

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Summary: A look inside what Clark really writes about anything and anyone!

A/n: I've read a lot of stories like this before, just not with Smallville. So I thought I'd give it a shot. The Journal begins right after he got it in season 5, also there will be some things that I just throw in there randomly, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to find those ones.

Clark is a little (a lot) OOC. Just warning you.

Enjoy!

8

Dear Diary,
Wow my first entry in my journal, this is some moment huh?…Hmm there seems to be nothing all that important to report at the moment. Be back later.

Clark

Dear diary,
Ok I admit, I'm only writing in this because I'm a little frightened Lois will look for it, find it and read it. I don't want it to look like, that I don't appreciate her gift…I mean not that it matters or anything…

From Clark

Dear Diary,
Today Chloe suggested I take up golf, don't exactly know why, but you know. Anyway, tried it and I suck! Maybe I'll take up another sport.

Love Clark

P.S. On the news it said NASA picked up a golf ball in the stratosphere on one of those blip screens. See I knew it never landed in the trees. Chloe owes me 10 bucks!

Dear Diary,
Found new sport, I call it: See how many times I can get Lois to say 'Crap'.
Currently – 218 times in 2 days
Post update later.
(I guess it helps that I have superpowers!)

Love Clark

Dear diary,
Old, new sport ruined. Found newer one: How To Dodge Lois' Frying Pan When She Finds Out She Is A Part Of A Uncoded Sport For Clark Kent's Amusement.
Have to admit though, my reflexes are in beautiful condition at the moment!

Love Clark

Dear Diary,
Do you think the Phantom Zone is listed in the top 10 list of 'Worst places to live in the 28 known galaxy's list'?
I think it is! It's like a frigging Star Wars movie out here! I feel like one of those Aliens…(Ignore last sentence reason being I am an alien)
Also met a chick who says she worked for my papa El. Not only that but she looks strangely like that Kara person who I fell for awhile back. Hmmm, I think Jor-El's got something going on with blondes!

Anyway! Gotta clean these scratches on my face. I hope Lois doesn't find out I got beat up bad by a girl…Not that I care what she thinks.

Love Clark

Dear Diary,
Just realised something, where is Lara?! I mean, I know she's dead but is she never mentioned by anyone? I mean it's Jor-el this, Raya that, Zod over there, Kal-el Here.

What about Lara? Very worried at lack of biological mother issues. It just doesn't fit in with the rest of the family.

Clark

Dear Diary,
Just beat the crap out of Zod. I'll give you the abridged version of events.

1) Flew with Zod (Not very romantic)
2) Went into Forrest (Still have pieces of rock in hair)
3) Went to field (Zod at this point kicking my ass)
4) "Kneel before ZOD!" (So clichéd)
5) Zapped him with state of the art El family broche.

Who's kneeling now, BITCH!

Love Clark

Dear Diary,
Went to hospital to see how Lois was doing. Was happily surprised at the tender moment we shared. It was…Nice. She also said something about an ice palace. Now realise Fortress has sucky security.

Also extremely worried that every time a New Year starts or year-ends, Lois and I have a conversation in a hospital.

Now currently, trying to get over slight touch of hand.

Clark

Dear Diary,
My mom bought me new shoes today, fancy leather ones. Unfortunately, every time I wear them, they squeak. You should hear it when I'm super speeding around.
Chloe thinks it's hilarious.
Mom thinks that the sound will go in time.
Lois thinks it's the Clark Kent version of the Cow Bell.
I think I'm throwing them away.

Always around,
Clark

Dear Diary,
Was surfing the Internet today, discovered Fan Fiction for the first time. Some of these stories should be published or something, they're that good! But some seem a bit desperate, like when people put the main character with someone they obviously aren't going to end up with.

Going to look for more.
Clark

Dear Diary,
Just found a genre I've never heard of before 'Smut'.
Going to find out what it is.

Clark

Dear Diary,
Found out what it is.
......
Don't want to talk about it.

Clark.

Dear Diary,
Been feeling responsible for nearly destroying the human race,
Bringing back fathers' worst enemy,
Letting out creepy crawlies from the Phantom Zone,
Accidentally putting dye in Lois' shampoo…No wait, meant to do that!

Anyway, I've thought about it a lot. I'm going to help people rebuild their lives.

Love Clark

Dear Diary,

Lois found out it was me who put dye in her shampoo. (Now think Chloe's a snitch) I now currently have orange skin. An hour after my shower, Lois came over. She still had blue hair, mother though it was hilarious! She took a photo of us together.

Currently dying of horror with Lois.
Clark

Dear Diary,
Rebuilt 8 houses today, not bad.
Recently had a scratchy throat. Mom thinks I may be getting my first cold.
I think I ate something furry at one point and it's stuck in my throat.

Love Clark.

Dear Diary,

Have cold.

Clark

Dear Diary,
Had a bit of a moment today. I sneezed. Yes I'm shocked too. I almost killed Lois who was jogging a few miles away! Have a feeling I won't be using this power very often. I feel like the big bad wolf.

Love, Man of sneeze

Dear Diary,
Just had a read of Lois' article in the Inquisitor. Actually it's not all that bad, but you can tell which bits the editor changed. Oh well, mom says she's going to start a scrapbook with all the articles Lois does. Ha! Now there's the smallest scrapbook in existence…

(Why do I think that comment is going to bite me in the ass later in life?)

From Clark

Dear Diary,
Home alone tonight, mom's having annual meetings up at D.C. So I'm watching TV and eating left over pizza. Have now discovered that I hate anchovies. I Have no idea how mom and Lois and Chloe eat them.

(Shivers)

Love Clark

Dear Diary,
Had a dream last night. I dreamt I was this big marshmallow.
Note to self: Never eat left over anchovy pizza! I don't care how good It might look, just DON"T!

Love Clark
P.S. I was blue, is there even a blue coloured marshmallow?