Today: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMI! We don't know each other very well, but I wanted to write you something. Your birthday was yesterday. I hope you had fun :)
Also, I want to thank you so much for helping out our Beyblade RP group on deviantArt. You're a huge help and a great RPer, the best at starting food fights ;) So happy birthday, from me and my cousins and my brothers and the moderators and like everybody else...
"It's Yami's birthday", said Tsubasa from behind the counter, where he was armed with a frying pan in case it was a Bad Day.
Mal turned to him blankly. "Yami who?"
"Uhhh...YamiGingka14? Yami-kun? Guy with the spiky hair? Firey dude?"
"I'm not following you. Put that down", she said, removing the frying pan from him.
"Come on, Mal, even I know him, and I was only there the one day. On Beyblade RP. Remember?"
"Ohhhh, you mean YAMI", she said, understanding suddenly alighting on her face.
"Yes, Mal, that's what I've been trying to tell you", Tsubasa explained patiently. "It's his birthday today."
"So get him a present."
"You throw the best birthday parties ever", Tsubasa reminded her. "You should do one for him."
"You can't just do birthday parties. They take planning."
"Snap your fingers. Use your little authoressy thing. Get balloons. Whatever."
"Even if I COULD do that, how am I supposed to get Yami here?" She crossed her arms. "You can't just summon fellow authors for the sake of a story. That only works with non-author characters."
"Send him an invitation", he suggested.
"To his own birthday party?"
"I don't know, Mal. Please figure something out. You know without Yami there would be no paint and cake all over the place at the RPs. You owe him."
At this her features hardened. "Never leave a debt unpaid!"
"That's the spirit!"
"But first, coffee."
"Naturally."
After Coffee Time was over, Mal wondered what to do. She enlisted Tsubasa for help, as it was his idea anyways.
"What does Yami like?"
"I have no idea. Uh, fire. Cake. Paint wars. Glitter. No, wait, that's Galaxy...Brownies! He likes brownies. And he thinks bacon is lame. And no tofu."
"I can't believe that!"
"Me either. So much sadness. I'd rather just make the Best Brownies In The World instead of doing a full-blown birthday party..."
Tsubasa shook his head violently. "Last time you made the Best Brownies In The World, Julia exploded. Remember?"
"Oh well. We just won't invite her this time since she can't handle the epicalness. Come on. This is a two-person job."
"More like a nine-person job!"
"We'll figure it out. We'll get Ryuga to help us."
Ryuga was reluctant; there was that whole Chicken Fiasco that he'd undergone, along with Advric The Terrible. But Mal and Tsubasa managed to persuade him.
"I hate brownies", he muttered. "I like bacon better."
"Yami thinks it's lame", Tsubasa said. Ryuga put on his most offended face.
"You can debate this with him later", Mal intervened. "Go get the butter."
She had the index card with the recipe for the Best Brownies In The World written on it:
-5 boxes of butter
-eighty pounds of pure and unadulterated chocolate
-stuff that makes brownies fudgy
-corn syrup: 6 bottles
-Two 5-pound bags of powdered sugar
-a bag of flour
-5 mint plants cut up into miniature pieces
And the secret ingredients:
-beef
-The Element Of Epicness
"Beef?" asked Ryuga.
"Beef", Mal answered.
"How much beef?"
"A cow's worth ought to do. Spectre will give it to us."
"Where is he supposed to get it!?"
"The cow plantation." Of course, this explained everything.
At that moment, Evelin, Kevin, Jacob, and Matt came in and insisted on 'watching'. Tsubasa whispered to Mal that they might need them there to help them handle the pure element of Epicness, which came in a jar about as tall as Mal was. (This wasn't very tall, but nonetheless, that's pretty big for a jar.)
Jacob retrieved the butter from the Secret Resting Place, which was inside the cat food. They have to keep it there so that Ryuga doesn't eat it all in his sleep. Matt poked Mal, who poked him back, and he poked her, and then Kevin poked Tsubasa, and Tsubasa smacked him on the hand, and then Ryuga poked the cabinet, which bit him, and it was an all-out pokefest, and in the midst of it all the Element Of Epicness escaped from its jar and ended up being absorbed solely by Evelin.
Ryuga covered Kevin's eyes promptly. Exposure to such epicness can kill small children. Evelin was now radiating epicness in its most raw form.
"Hi", she said, and Tsubasa nearly passed out from all the epicness. Mal managed to get her into the Cabinet-Under-The-Sink, which is where all secret and special things go to rest.
"We're just going to have to do the recipe without the Epicness." Mal glared at Matt, who had, after all, started the entire thing.
"I hope Yami still likes it", said Kevin anxiously.
"He'll love it", Mal assured him. "Go make him a present."
Kevin went and wrote a 1000-page novel on the Magic of Friendship and then decided that it wasn't worth keeping, so he went and made a little tower out of glued-together Q-tips and wrapped that up for Yami instead.
Meanwhile, Mal instructed Ryuga on the Procedure For Chopping Up Beef. Finally he got it right, and into the pot it went. Tsubasa suddenly got an idea: he went and cut off one inch of Evelin's hair and put it in the pot. The Epicness seeped into the batter and made the brownies More Epic.
"You're a genius", Mal told him. Ryuga put bacon in the pot while nobody was looking.
Kyouya had also decided to give Yami a present: he grabbed a random Christmas bow that was lying under the piano and stuck it on Mal's dad's MP5. He loaded it with Milk Duds. He did not tell Mal or her dad.
Masamune got a huge jar of jelly beans. but he said Yami could only have it if he could guess exactly how many jelly beans were in the jar.
Mal called Galaxy who called Yami who hitched a ride on a semi to Mal's house. Mal set Dumptruck free because Minny had attempted to tie her up and pass her off as a present.
Ryuga put a firecracker in the brownies instead of a candle and Julia, who had in fact been hiding there the whole time, ended up exploding again. (Being an FFA, she would reappear somewhere in the universe in time - on Jupiter, most likely.)
The brownies, however, being Totally Epical, did not blow up, and Yami got to eat them after all. He glared at Ryuga through his bangs. "You put bacon in this", he said.
"No. Of course not. I wouldn't do that."
"It was tofu bacon", Mal explained. Yami ate the brownies anyway because he was a nice guy.
When he unwrapped the MP5, he tested it out on Mal's mother's plates and got into huge trouble. Mal's dad took the gun back. Yuu stole the Milk Duds.
He took one look at the jelly beans and said "10, 769." Masamune surrendered them and spent the rest of the evening pouting.
Mal gave him a big notebook. On the front page were happy birthday notes from all of her cousins, which Yami didn't read because Mal has like 1000000000000 cousins.
Tsubasa, who had forgotten to get him a gift, gave him a high-five instead. Yuu gave him a melted Snickers.
At last Kyouya got sick of him and made him go home, which was rude, but he had just taken out the paint cannon and that was completely uncalled for.
Happy birthday from all of Mal's cousins!
Jacob - "I have no idea who you are. Happy birthday, Mr. Yami."
Joneh - "Happy bwufday."
Jett - "CAKE"
Rey - *silent brofist*
Jonald - *silent staring with mouth wide open*
Jude - "Happy birthday, Yami! You rock!"
Kevin - "Happy birthday, Mr. Yami Author Dude Man!"
Mal: "Happy birthday, Yami. We hope you liked the brownies."
THE END
