The first time I saw him, I knew that I liked him… a lot. It was at the fall concert for school and I was walking with a girl named… well let's call her Liz for the moment. So we run into this boy… a very sweet boy. There he stood, looming at least 6 feet tall if not much more, and I stared up at him, infatuated. I wasn't listening to what Liz was saying to him, all I knew is that I wanted him to hold me. I instantly snapped back to attention, though, when I heard the words, "so are you here to see your girlfriend?" Well that put a serious damper on things. Bummer. So I got over him eventually, I got a boyfriend that same year and moved on. That was freshman year.

I saw him, then and again, once in a while our groups mashed at school because Siena was friends with his friends, and I came to find out that after his girlfriend graduated, she had dumped him. I saw a slight beam of a chance… but to no avail. He started going out with another girl. Once again, I moved on. No biggie, my love life hasn't been all that great, so why bother now?

By then it was about sophomore year… I don't quite remember because time is not important, but anywho, I moved on to find another guy. This guy made me feel special, felt wanted. But he tried to take advantage of me. And I couldn't get away. He hurt me… in more ways than one. I hated him but I still kept going back. I wanted to kill him, hurt him, but somehow he always had that something about him that pulled me closer. Then one day, after a horrible experience, I was able to walk away. I walked away from him and never really looked back. Sure, I see him with his girlfriend, hands everywhere, disgusting actions and words, but I don't care because he was a jerk. I left him this past summer, and moved on once again.

I met Jordan, and we became friends. Some people thought we were "more than friends," but that simply wasn't the truth. Did I ever want to be more than just friends? Not particularly. Sure, the thought occasionally passed my mind but didn't stay more than a few minutes. On a school trip, I became especially distant from Jordan and turned to Justin. Something about him made me smile and he asked me out a week after our return. We've had a weird relationship ever since. But I ran into the guy again. There he was, standing outside talking to one of my friends, and my heart started to race. I was so happy to see him, not as in nervous, as in a nervous-love type thing, but as an excited to see him type of thing. I ran over there and we talked… only to find out that he was in love with a very close friend of mine. Once again, he put the damper on my parade and I shrugged it off. I decided that it would be okay with me if the two of them decided to hook up, simply because it would make them happy and I could possibly become closer to him. We ended up going to dinner together that same night, and all he would talk about was her, her, her. But he seemed to be flirting with me at the same time. And now the circle winds back around to where I probably won't see him for a while again, and we'll just have to take life as it comes.