You never realize what someone means to you until you lose them. You never realize that they're there until their gone. You don't realize until it's too late. Too late to save them. Too late to help.

Connor Murphy. That was my name. The guy who threw a printer in second grade. The guy who was thought to be always high, even by his own family. Feared by everyone at school. No one cared about me. Sure, my mother, Cynthia, may have seemed caring. But her idea of caring for me was giving me medication I didn't want. Sending me to mental hospitals I didn't want to be in.

Zoe had stopped caring after I started to lash out at her. God who knows when Larry started to hate me. We were far from being a perfect family.

But, here's the thing. No one cared for me, not until I did it. Until I finally succeeded.

I wandered the halls of my high school. I've always hated it. So why am I coming back here? I get to my locker which is filled with sympathy cards with various sayings. "Rest In Peace", "You were a good friend", "You were a great guy" etc. None of which were true. I turn around and see my parents walking to the office. Cynthia obviously had been crying. Larry, on the other hand, hadn't even shed a single tear.

Soon, I hear Evan's name being called over the loudspeaker. I watch as he anxiously walks to the office. He looked as if he was going to have a full-blown panic attack.

I've only interacted with Evan twice. Both on the same day. The day I took my life. I had shoved him before school started. Then I signed his cast and stole his letter.

I go to the office to see what's happening. Cynthia was breaking down as she yelled at Evan.

"This is the only thing we have!" She says between sobs, holding Evan's letter. It was then I realized that his letter was in my pocket when I did it. Shit, they must think that it was my suicide note.

At this point, Evan was hyperventilating. His eyes were filled with tears as he hugged his knees to his chest. He repeated the word sorry rapidly between his quick breathes.

"Larry, his cast," I hear Cynthia say. Evan looks wide-eyed at Cynthia before looking down to see my name. I felt bad for Evan. He didn't deserve to be involved in my death. Evan left the room with his things. I followed him out and into the closest bathroom. He locked himself in a stall before mumbling to himself.

"Why did you lie? You weren't friends. Now everyone is going to hate you and mom is going to think you're crazy." He says, still heavily breathing.

"If I just disappeared right now, no one would care." He said, his face tucked in between his knees. I would care, I wanted to say. This innocent boy doesn't deserve this. He didn't do anything, but now, because of me, he's sitting here wanting to take the same path I did.

I made my way out of school. I went to my house. I wanted to escape this place, so why I still came back, I don't know. I go into Zoe's room. She's lying against her bed. She eyes red and puffy. Maybe she did care.

"Why did you do it? Why?" She quietly mumbled. She stood up and grabbed her pillow. She threw it against the wall and screamed.

"WHY!?" She yelled. She punched her wall before yelping from the pain. I felt tears form in my eyes. It hurt to see Zoe like this. Sure, it may have seemed like I hated her, but I still looked out for her. She is my little sister. What had I done?

I want to go back. I want to be back in my room telling Larry to fu*k off. I don't want to see Zoe or my mom like this anymore. I don't want Evan to be blamed. I want to live again.

AN: So I was bored, so this is a really crappy one shot. I kinda like the concept of this, so should I make this a full story or leave it as it is? Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this!