Well, I suck at writing and summaries. I don¿t give a fuck about rankings so, if you thin is to much for you and your pretty eyes, sue me.
JK, I love you.
Carter: Knowing a bit more about Horus... (Shhh, don't tell Sadie)
So I was reading the other day, trying to know a little more about all the gods and specially, of course, about the god who was constantly entering my mind. And I'm not just talking about the way he usually do, like talking to me, giving me orders and shit. No. Someway, somehow, he was now disturbing my dreams, and not in a "let's save the world from a freacking ancient and powerful monster" way. I know what you're probably thinking and no, I'm not gay. I like Zia for Toth's sake! Or at least I think I like her...
The thing is that I was searching for some kind of informaion when I found a papyrus that was sealed with an Horus' eye and it said "not open under any circumstances" so I opened it (I guess that after hanging a lot of time with my sister, you star to act like that, you know, like a freacking stupid and stubborn kid). I actually shouldn't have, because now I'm traumatized.
The story tells that Horus was actually raped by Set (yeah, big and badass Horus was raped by his uncle). The thing was that Set invited him to somewhere to do something (c'mon Horus, it sounded like a freacking porno, not that I've seen anything like that, of course) so Horus went. Don't ask me what happened but someway, somehow, he missed and most of Set's cum end up in Horus' hand. Horus went to Isis, probaly looking some comfort for being raped, and Isis cut off his freacking hand wich fell into somekind of lake. BEST MOM EVER. Luckily, another hand grew up and they started to planning a way to take revenge from Set (at least Isis did, Horus was probably sitting on a corner with a traumatized face and a huge pain in the ass).
After all the planning, Isis went to Set's house and talked to the gardener (why does a god of chaos, thunders and deserts have a gardener). He told her that Set only ate salad, because he was some vegetarian crazy shit. So Isis gave Horus an urn (and maybe some dirty magazines) so Horus could, you know, cum inside it. You're probably wondering "why the fuck does she want his freacking cum?" well, it seems to be that Isis put Horus' cum on Set's salad so Set would eat it without knowing.
Long story short, after that everybody went to Osiris' palace and Toth invoked Set's cum and Horus' hand appeared, and when he invoked Horus' sperm, it bursted out from Set's head.
It was the most traumatizing shit I ever read.
Now, Sadie is knocking my door, probably mad because I took the recording shit so I could talk to you, whoever you are. I migth keep doing it, because I'm planning on asking Horus about the history.
Goodbye, I would say "wish me luck" if I wasn't a Kane, and a Kane never has luck.
