Title: Keep on Getting Closer
Summary: She believes he is pushing her away, he is in fact keeping her closest. An unresolved case comes back to haunt Emily, though she's not the only one affected by it. Hotch is also fighting his own share of demons and unwanted feelings.
Category: Hotch/Prentiss-centric UST/Romance, mystery, suspense, casefile.
Rating: M (Strong but non-explicit adult themes, violence (especially towards the end), coarse language and sexual innuendos)
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, or any of the characters, except for Steve Norland, but he's a psycho, so you can have him. Also the title and first line of the summary was inspired by The XX song 'Crystalised.'
Author's notes: I started working on this story months ago, basically before the end of season 5, so needless to say it has become AU because of the presence or absence of certain characters (I miss you JJ!). For some reason I've been suffering a bad case of writer's block that has lasted something like 7 months, so I'm posting this way later than I first anticipated. In any case, I hope you enjoy! The story's kind of long, but I'll try posting it fairly quickly, so that you don't have to suffer any of those annoying cliffhangers that we love to hate (or hate to love?) ;-)
Spoilers and timeline: set sometime during late season 5 (definitely before season 6), with some more specific references to episodes 2x06 (the Boogeyman), 5x09 (100) and 5x10 (Slave of Duty).
Also, this story has not been beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes!
Prologue
Marcel Proust once wrote: "The opinions which we hold of one another, our relations with friends and kinsfolk are in no sense permanent, save in appearance, but are as eternally fluid as the sea itself."
Emily's blood was pounding so loudly in her ear, she barely heard the constant chatter in her earpiece. They had officers and dogs patrolling all over the property, there was no way the UnSub could get away, just no way! But there was still one problem; he probably knew he was trapped and there was no predicting what he would do to the woman still in his clutches. What did a cornered wolf do to its prey? Emily felt dread permeate every pore of her body at the thought.
"Any sign of Cassandra Bolton?" Morgan asked at her side as she carefully peaked through the dusty window of the old and crumbling shed.
Emily shook her head in disappointment. Cassandra was the UnSub's most recent victim, but they were still counting on her being alive. She had to still be alive. "Negative. She's not in there." Waiting for Morgan's signal, she pushed the door open and he marched in, his gun raised, Emily hot on his heels. As expected, the shed was empty of people, but the place was cramped with stuff. As Emily looked closer, her flashlight roaming over the chaos of various farm implements, her eye caught something.
"Hey Morgan, check it out. One of the murder weapons?" she asked as she aimed her flashlight at the pitchfork that lied on top of a pile of shovels.
Morgan followed the light and approached the pile, taking off his sunglasses in the process. "Sure looks like it, I'm gonna tell Hotch and get CSU in here." He walked out, and Emily could hear his muffled voice coming from outside as she continued her search inside the shed. As far as she could tell it was just random equipment and except for the pile that she'd already pointed out to Morgan, nothing else seemed overtly suspicious.
She was looking through the contents of a toolbox when the air seemed to shift around her to complete stillness. She tensed and kept still, straining her ear, but she could only hear Morgan's voice outside and the eerie sound of old wood cracking as the breeze hit the walls of the shed. Emily had learned to trust her instincts long ago, but maybe the sudden weighty stillness around her was just a horrific trick of her imagination?
Carefully standing to her feet, her hand reached for her gun as she slowly stepped closer to the door. She could see Morgan outside a few feet away, still talking with his back to her. Apparently his conversation wasn't going so well, as he kept shaking his head and raking a frustrated hand through absent hair.
Just as she was about to call out his name he hung up and, at that precise moment, Emily saw a dark silhouette running from behind the shed and right into Morgan's back, slamming him into the ground and swinging something against the back of his head. He landed with a forceful whoof, but didn't fight back as his attacker jerked him around and hit him square in the face with his fist. Emily sprung into action, raising her gun and stepping outside, staying close to the door.
"Freeze, FBI!" she yelled and she was surprised when the man actually stopped and slowly straightened up over Morgan's unconscious body. "Hands on your head Norland, slowly." The man obeyed her, to her own amazement, but she didn't approach him yet.
She quickly called for backup on her radio and took a couple of steps closer, sparing just enough attention to make the call. Once reassured that backup was on the way, her eyes darted towards Morgan, but he seemed to be breathing evenly, so she focused back her attention to the man kneeling beside her colleague's body: Steven Norland, sadistic sociopath. They had been chasing him for four days, and there he finally was, on his knees and heads behind his head. Walking closer still, her gun steadily pointing at his back, she finally got close enough to handcuff him. Always alert, Emily reached for her cuffs with her left hand, but as she made to grab his left wrist, he suddenly shifted and his movement was so swift that Emily didn't get a chance to react. A second later, he was standing and had switched their positions so that she found herself in front of him, his arm across her throat and his body pressing into her back. She tried fighting, but his hold on her tightened mercilessly in response. He laughed and Emily fought a shudder at the sound.
"You thought you had me, huh pretty Emily? You thought you were better than me, didn't you Emily?" he whispered in her ear. Emily tried to stay calm and assess the situation; help was on the way, so she only had to stall him long enough for the cavalry to show up.
Emily snorted in response to his taunting. "Ah come on Steven, you know I am smarter than you."
She felt him shake his head. "I don't think so. Because I'm gonna walk away, and you and your genius friends will never, ever find me," he whispered slowly. Emily thought she could hear police officers calling back and forth and dogs barking in the distance, so she kept stalling.
"You know I love a good challenge, but even I know it's too late, Steven. You're a done deal, history."
He chuckled again, and for a horrific second she felt him get closer and breathe in her hair. She closed her eyes in disgust, fighting with all her being to stay calm and not show her panic. "You're breaking my heart, pretty Emily," he said overdramatically, but just as he spoke, he grabbed her wrists and yanked her arms behind her back, where he used her own handcuffs on her. He spun her around sharply and Emily tensed at the smirk on his face. He could have been a handsome man, but the look in his eyes, that one look chilled her to her bones with its calculating intelligence and viciousness.
"Too bad I can't stay and have some fun, pretty Emily," he said as his eyes traveled down her neck to her chest, "but who knows, maybe we'll meet again."
He took a forceful hold of ponytail and yanked her head back, making her gasp in pain.
"Wherever you go, I'll find you, you son of bitch, I swear to God!" she spat.
He shook his head, still smirking. "Not before I find you first. And I will." He stroked the side of her face and neck with his knuckles and Emily jerked away. He laughed as he took a step back. "Until we meet again, pretty Emily."
Before she even could see it coming, his fist or his elbow, she couldn't be sure, hit her cheekbone, and the blow was forceful enough to make her stagger back. With her hands bound together behind her she couldn't regain her balance so she fell on her back, hitting her head on the ground as she landed. When she opened her eyes again a second later he was gone.
"We're gonna get your ass, you son of a bitch!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Her head was pounding and spinning with the shock and pain of her fall, so she closed her eyes again, trying to control her breathing and fight the nausea that assaulted her.
A chorus of 'Prentiss', 'Morgan' and 'Agents' with varying degrees of concern made her open her eyes again a few moments later. Seconds? Minutes? She had lost track. As she forced her eyes open she found herself looking right into Hotch's concerned face.
"Prentiss, are you alright?" he asked as he leaned over her, taking his sunglasses off and scanning her to assess for injuries.
Emily nodded quickly, but then stopped at the hammer pounding against her skull. "I'm fine, go after him! We have to get him!"
She saw him gesture to someone over his shoulder, but instead of going after Norland he calmly returned his attention to her. "Prentiss, you're bleeding. Hold on," he looked over his shoulder again. "I need a medic over here!"
"Hotch I'm fin- Morgan! Morgan's unconscious, you have to take care of him, make sure he's okay!" she mumbled and for a second she couldn't understand why Hotch was so damn calm, his hands on her shoulders firmly preventing her from sitting up, while he should be running after that son of a bitch, or making sure Morgan was alright.
"It's okay, Prentiss, we've got Morgan. Dave's right there with him, he's gonna be fine."
A paramedic knelt down next to her head and Emily winced as he touched a sensitive spot on her left cheekbone. "We have to get him Hotch," she said as she closed her eyes against the stinging pain of alcohol disinfecting the scratch on her cheek.
"We will. Where are the keys to your handcuffs?"
"No you don't understand. We have to get him, Hotch."
That seemed to get his attention as his intense gaze sharply met hers and for the first time he seemed to actually pay attention to what she was saying. "Did he hurt you?" he asked bluntly, but she could see dread and rage in the tightness of his jaw.
"No, but we need him to tell us where Cassandra Bolton is, we need to-"
"We don't need him for that Prentiss, we've found her." He glanced up at the medic, who was still assessing her injuries, feeling what felt like every bone in her body. "Is it safe for her to sit up?" Hotch asked, not paying attention to Emily's surprised expression.
"What? You found her? Is she alright?"
"Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem," the medic replied in answer to Hotch's question.
"She didn't make it," Hotch replied, once back returning his attention to Emily. "Let me help you sit up." With supporting hands on her shoulders and back he pulled her up gently, and Emily closed her eyes for a second as blood rushed to her head, making her dizzy. Leaning over he unlocked her handcuffs without Emily realizing where he had actually got the keys from, and she rotated her shoulders and massaged her wrists to release the strain.
"Thanks."
"What happened?" he asked as he leaned back on his heels, still looking at her with concern. She'd often seen that exact expression on his face during interviews with victims, as if he was bracing himself for some horrible story. But Emily refused to consider herself a victim.
"He must have been waiting for us somewhere around here. He knocked Morgan unconscious, and when I went to handcuff him…" Emily paused, ashamed that Norland had managed to overpower her so easily. "Hotch we have to catch him."
He seemed to search her gaze for a few seconds, then pursed his lips in determination. "We will. We know who he is now, how he thinks. But Prentiss, whatever happens, you're going to have to learn to let it go."
Emily looked back at him. "I know that Hotch. Really." She had seen what making it too personal had done to Gideon and Hotch himself, and even Dave to a lesser extent. She didn't want to live that way, with a constant fear and guilt eating at your insides.
He nodded and helped her stand as he himself rose to his feet. "Good. Let's take you back to the station."
Emily nodded and, as she slowly walked alongside Hotch, promised herself that she wouldn't let what had just happened and Steven Norland get under her skin, nor into her head. At that moment, she followed Hotch's advice, and took the first step towards letting it go.
She didn't look back.
